It's becoming apparent that there are a zillion different names for a zillion different beliefs/non-beliefs out there. Without pigeon-holing myself under a particular definition, there are a few of which I can pretty closely identify with for the time being. Maybe Agnostic, and then also appreciating the Freethought pansies. Ultimately, I believe coming to any self-realization is a personal journey, with others as guides ~~trusting our inner voice above any guide, though.
I have not yet fully concentrated my energies toward getting a better understanding to be certain enough to completely dismiss the idea of any supernatural force(s), or an afterlife. So I cannot say with any certainty either way...hence, agnostic leanings.
I have an inner sense that there is some force(s) maybe in another dimension that we just don't understand..and with that idea I reserve the possibility that we may all come to a better understanding in an 'afterlife'. A part of me really wants to believe this, that there is more meaning to the mysteries, beauties, and even suffering of this present life here. An intelligent design of some sort..
..but, these could merely be ghost fragments of the indoctrinization of religion I was saturated in since the womb. Maybe on some level I wnt to believe certain aspects of 'divine' forces in another realm because it may just have been a bit much up to this point to completely dissolve any remains of any 'faith' I ever had that suffering isn't for nothing. I still hold on, in the recesses of my mind, that life is too wondrous to just be cold, hard ...chance.
There is an inner dialogue that carries on that keeps open the possibility of another realm, even an 'afterlife'...and this dialogue is a battle at times that I would do well to address.
That 'other realm' talk could very well be the old god-based notions...just in a different form.
I have yet to truly consider all it means to be athiestic. It was a large leap to go from hard-core JW...to 'agnostic'. Now, perhaps it's time to dig deeper again..
~Thanks for listening