MOTD from <diety of choice>

EntirelyPossible

We have so many hearing the voice of Jesus on the forum I thought I would start a thread for everyone to be able to share what they head from Jesus or any other diety they hear from. I'll kick it off. I heard several messages to share today already...

"Man the weapons console, Mr. Chekov"

Clearly this message means to be prepared for ghosts of the past, the diligently fight them, outwit them like Kirk did to Khan in Star Trek II.

"Prepare to be boarded."

What can I say, the ladies like an assertive man.

"When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come and see!" I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth."

This means that at least 1/4 of us are utterly fucked.

Share yours!

King Solomon

I heard a pleasant female voice telling me, "All of our representatives are busy serving other customers. Your estimated wait time is: 5 minutes." I don't know which deity it was: it didn't say....

Weird thing is, I heard this while I was making a call to my bank! I guess you never really know when you're going to be visited by a Holy Spirit. I think the message is metaphor: clearly it's not LITERAL.

What is the time conversion used in Gospel Time? If it's "a day = 1,000 years", what does 5 minutes work out to be?

elderelite

Thor sats weapons are cool when used responsibly. One never knows when ice giants may try to take over.

NewChapter

A voice disturbed me greatly this morning. She told me I must be in for a hair appt. tomorrow at 11:35. shit. Then the memory of another voice came back to me. It was my trainer telling me I must be present in the gym tomorrow at 11:00. It was a difficult call. But I figured I could beat up the salon voice and no way could I take on the trainer, so I will now be attending the hair appt. tomorrow at 3:00. The trainer is a jealous god---and he has a torture chamber that he jokingly calls a fitness center.

NC

NewChapter

And speaking of the fitness center---I pity the sinner that would dare to force it to stick to code and make itself maneuverable to disabled people. Oh wait. They train some of the special olympic kids? Little sinners.

mP

Its funny when showing the "math" for calculating 607 to 1914, daniels days are supposedly worth a year and yet the way of establishing when the Jews returned is supposed 50 (or was it 70) literal years as spoken by Jeremiah. Why are Jeremiah's figures literal but Daniels are metaphysical ? How do we know the other time spans are literal, maybe they are coded as well.

EntirelyPossible

The message I have received today is this: It is for a wisdom, both health and love of family, that a man will not combine beer with Taco Bell and instead shall stick to the salads and grains.

I Want to Believe

My diety communicates through dreams (how else would you explain these visions during my sleep?!) and his/her lastest divine message has something to do with not being prepared for a wedding, and not wearing pants or something. And it was 11 years ago, but people were dressed like the '70s. I think my diety must've drunk dialed this one, 'cause it didn't make much sense.

OnTheWayOut

At work, I hear a loud voice requesting various people to the phone. The diety calls publicly but seems to want to be personal as far as the message content goes. Until I know which diety this is, I will call him "Loudspeaker" because he is pretty loud.

undercover

"Prepare to be boarded."

What can I say, the ladies like an assertive man.

Unless you heard that from Mr. Sulu...

OHHHH, MYYY.....

MOTD from <diety of choice>

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