In the American context, the idea that parents would actively fight the idea of college education is very weird. I could easiy be assumed that any such claim as your sister's is just an attempt to game the system. Doesn't make it any better, I know, but there is a certain rationality behind it, I think.
Ex-JW Teens Get Screwed Out of College
by dontplaceliterature 25 Replies latest jw friends
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Rocky_Girl
if it's possible, go in person and talk to a financial aid officer at the college. They are overwhelmed with emails right now. Key words: financial independence, possible scholarships and grants. Admissions counselors have nothing to do with financial aid and can be very unhelpful if you aren't the typical student. Get your sister involved in this process.
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King Solomon
There was a story on the national news of a girl who graduated from high school and was accepted to Yale, when her parents abandoned her years ago (crack heads). The high school teachers were determined to help her, and she lived with them as they set up a web page and trust fund account for donations. Many schools (including Yale) got wind of the story and offered her a full-ride work/study scholarship.
It's a long-shot, but it might be worthwhile setting up a webpage of her story, maybe contact local news media (they love stories of young people who are driven to succeed, despite their loser parents), and see where it goes?
If nothing else, her story would make one heck of an essay that would surely stand out from those of the kids who've handed everything to them upon asking.
BTW, I was stubborn and wanted to pay my own way by serving in military, saving up the $$$ for school and getting my GI Bill. Sure, it delayed my life by 4-5 years, but I wouldn't have it any other way than doing it on my own. The success is so much sweeter....
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Rocky_Girl
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there are literally hundreds of scholarships out there that are only an essay away. Go for the little ones that require more writing, they are less competitive. My first semester, I wrote one
5 page essay and submitted it to 30 $500 scholarship committees; I won 17 of them. I almost never won the big ones... I financed half of my education this way. That is over $50,000. I nurtured a relationship with financial aid, they looked at me like a daughter and forwarded all scholarship opportunities to my email.
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dontplaceliterature
I spent hours helping an unrelated Witness teen apply for scholarships, aid, etc last year. Then he didn't go. I wanted to choke him.
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Rocky_Girl
that would be so frustrating! hopefully your sister will follow through.
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blondie
Good leads everybody. I went back as an older student and found that there scholarships and awards availlable to me and did not have to be just out of high school.
In the end what many jw children get pressured out of taking the opportunity to choose to go to college. Many non-jw teens choose to throw away their opportunities. It isn't too late until you're dead.
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Scott77
I sympathise with the plight of your sister. Wiith creativity and some help around, I hope she will be through.
Scott77
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Band on the Run
I faced the very same situation decades ago but was saved when my father died. My mom wanted me to go to college very much. She should talk to her guidance counselor and principal. Emancipated minor may be a good move. She probably qualifies for free or very low-cost legal services.
If she has good grades, I can't imagine any decent school not helping her if she documents the situation. My problem was that I was so embarassed I did not tell anyone how bad things were. I was accepted at Columbia University. My father tried to pull me out of school to get a job as a check out person in a grocery store. I made the very stupid, but understable, mistake of not confiding in teachers. If she has graduated, she should still call the school and ask where to turn. Legal services may help. A family service agency may also help.
A family service agency was helping me, unbeknownst to my family. I never even asked them directly. My mom went also but had different sessions. She told them and they told her they would help me. He could not do it. The fact is that it boiled down to leave home (and my mom and sibs) and going into a foster family far away. My mom would never leave my father. He almost got away with literal murder under headship principles.
I knew in my gut the principal would protect me. As embarassed as I was to admit I had such total trash for a parent, I made an appt. with the principal. It is still so vivid in my mind. B/c I ran into him with friends present, I just said I needed to speak to him alone, as though it were a casual problem. The date was set. My father died in the meanwhile.
There are alumni and all sorts of discretionary funds colleges can turn to in this situation. Indeed, I would give money freely to my college or any college as long as the story was true. She is not in a normal middle class family and her financial status should indicate that fact. A statement from your parents stating that they will not pay for religious reasons may be enough.
When I interviewed law students for a merit scholarship, this Latina woman showed up, so apologetic about her education and her family, who never wanted her educated. She graduated college against all their active efforts to stop her. Unfortunately, I had to stay in a neutral character. She was awarded a full merit scholarship with living expenses included. I arranged for faculty and student support behind the scenes. She had to stop seeing herself as worthless. Also, she did need some remedial work based on where she attended college compared to where the other students attended. There were a range of judges in the room. Candidates were from Harvard and Princeton with great credentials but we were so impressed with her. She possessed such character that the profession could certainly use. No one viewed her as not up to task, except herself.
College transformed my life, and money was the least important part. Whole new worlds opened for me.
I went into some detail b/c I thought the stories might inspire your sister. She is so courageous. People will reward that courage.
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Band on the Run
Sorry for all the typos. The point is go higher up the chain. I get away with a lot of stuff by just bypassing the intermediate person. Write to the dean if she has been accepted. If it is a government funded school, I would write to my senators and congressperson or the equivalent on a state level. This hits so close to home that I will try to think of nonprofits that may be interested.
Please so many people I know with very wealthy parents or spouses legally manipulated the system.
It would be nice if former Witnesses could set up even a small fund for situations like this one.