by Lazarus 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I'm pretty sure the Islamic promise of 72 virgin women for every man would actually be Hell: like the Jerry Seinfeld joke, who would want 71 women staring at them in disappointment, when it's hard enough work to keep even one satisfied? :)
And the 144,000 in heaven? What are their duties? I understand there were new Heavenly songs to be sung, thus praising his glory 24/7 ad infinitum. And all those white robes that are to be washed in blood ain't gunna wash themselves (laundry duty).
According to the Watchtower, they float in outer space sitting in green armchairs.
These 144k are the only ones sponsored by the WTS to go the Heavens. I think, some lately have earned the WTS endorsement , thank to the new light, the introdution of the overlaping generation.
Scott77
Thank you all for your input.
My conclusion is, that my fellow witnesses have, like me, not the slightest idea what their heavenly kings and queens are obliged to do actually. So at least I'm not alone in ignorance. What a crap.
If the WT doesn't supply the answer, all you can do is 'wait on Jehovah!', as making up your own answer is 'running ahead of Jehovah!'
Here is what the WT said in November 1, 1917
Hence our dear Pastor, now in glory, is without doubt, manifesting a keen interest in the Harvest work, and is permitted by the Lord to exercise some strong influence thereupon. (Revelation 14:17) It is not unreasonable to conclude that he has been privileged to do, in connection with the Harvest work, things which he could not do while with us. Although we recognize that the Lord is the great Master and Director of the Harvest, yet we recognize that He would privilege the saints beyond the veil to have a part in the work on this side; and thus all the saints, both in Heaven and upon earth, are now given the honor of concluding the work on this side, preparatory to the full establishment of the Kingdom of Glory.
Hey, that's probably it, Black Sheep.
Anyone else remember the JW urban legend of a young sister who was out in door-to-door alone, and knocked on the door of a householder (who was arrested just hours afterwards, as the serial rapist they had been looking for)? When asked by the Police why he didn't try anything funny on the sister (the Police somehow knew that she had been there a few hours earlier: don't worry your pretty little heads over HOW they knew that!), the rapist said, "What, do you think I'm NUTZ?!? I would've, as she was pretty hot, but there were those TWO BURLY GUYS with her."
So, the only question is, anyone know if CT Russell worked out alot? Was he buff?
Choir practice of the song that no others know how to sing?
Yes, I read that it is even more difficult than the American National Anthem (Star Spangled Banner) so they really need to practice alot.
Rub a Dub
:The 144 000, what do they do every day?
Drink beer and smoke dope. Since their "Christ" hasn't done anything about bringing on Armageddon yet, he joins them and they all sing "From House-to-House" in perfect harmony together. Meanwhile, "Jehovah" is still busy trying to figure out how to spell and pronounce his own name.
Farkel
Ok folks this is the agenda for the day. The preaching
is not doing so great. We need new light. There is A
education program being done by that damn satan
and his tool that damn net. We need new light, the net is
A tool of the devil. It,s becoming more difficult in keeping
them dumb. Ok lets go to work, and damn,t if you don,t
do A better job I will and can DF all of you.
