Need some direction as to what to do?????

harleybear

Hi all: I really need your advise and imput. I am a born in. Have been a fader for over 20 years. After my Mom died I inherited my father who is so in the box. Even though very old and feeble he still hangs on the the "new system". I guess at his age I would too. At any rate I feel that I need to break free but do feel I should wait while my father is alive. My thought is that once he is gone that I want to move on with my life and formally remove myself from the JW's. I will not do this prior to my father death for various reasons but feel very strongly that I need to cut the tie when he is gone. So many of my reasons for leaving the "church"has been surronded by my family dynamics. I have received numerous inputs from friends and family. Some Pro some Con. I would like to hear your input. Thank You

Starr_Kachina

Dear harleybear,

"I will not do this prior to my father death for various reasons but feel very strongly that I need to cut the tie when he is gone."

It seems like you've already made up your mind about not disassociating yourself until your father passes away. Please let me know if I am incorrect.

DesirousOfChange

You have plenty of time. Armageddon is not right around the corner.

Wait until your father passes. It will make it all easier on him, and it is a small sacrifice for you to make.

Then get on with living your life.

Doc

Broken Promises

I think it's best to wait until he's gone.

jwfacts

If you are a fader, but still involved, how involved are you? You don't need to make an issue about things to your father, but is your involvement preventing you from living your life? Is it affecting your relationship with a wife and children?

I think what is best for yourself and the next generation should take precedence over those of your father.

Black Sheep

See their official policy on shunning DA vs drifted on jw.org

Formally DAing yourself is playing by the Governing Body's rules, which are designed for their benefit exclusively .

cedars

I agree with jwfacts. Remaining "in" the organization for your father needn't mean devoting all of your time to it. I certainly wouldn't be wasting any of my time with the organization for anyone. I don't say this lightly because I too have a widowed father, but he perhaps isn't as advanced in years as yours is.

I do feel very strongly that, just because a parent may have wasted the majority of his life in service to the organization, this doesn't mean his children should. I have a feeling that many JW parents know deep down at some subconscious level that it isn't the truth, but they cling to it because it is all they know, and it offers them an 'exit strategy' as they face their own mortality. I think it's quite selfish of parents to insist on their children continuing their legacy of servitude even though they have these doubts. They have wasted vast swathes of their time on this planet serving a faceless organization while harboring doubts and uncertainties - do they really want the same for their children?

I think if most parents were given the opportunity to REALLY think about it, a good number of them would come to the conclusion: "don't make the same mistake I did, go live your life!" But then, we are talking about things that stir on a deeply subconscious level. Not all indoctrinated parents are able to access those thoughts. My Dad certainly is unable to at present.

Cedars

nugget

Only you know what is right for you and what you can tolerate. Only you can truly assess the impact of your decision on yourself and those you care about.

As has been said if you have a wife and children then their viewpoint and feelings need to come first. Your father is an important person in your life but in this case would not be the most important. A child leading a fake JW life is under a huge strain and being exposed to JW teachings can have a major impact on their self esteem and world view.

Your father needs his belief to have a hope of seeing your mum in paradise, her loss may be what keeps him clinging to the wreck of his religion. He has too much of himself to lose by walking away.

Honesty

Just go one about your business and let the cultists go on about theirs.

No need to play by the cult's rules.

I did and have regretted it ever since.

I should have just told them to eff off when they wanted to know if I still believed that shit.

outsmartthesystem

I agree with JWFACTS and CEDARS. If being "involved" puts a strain on your life of that of your family.....you need to take care of that first. But if being "involved" is nothing more than a minor inconvenience.....then out of respect for dad.....I'd not make any waves until he passes.

Need some direction as to what to do?????

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