Why Did I Have to Be an Adopted Child? - Another HORRID ARTICLE From the Creators of Throw Sparlock in the bin

by 3dogs1husband 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • 3dogs1husband


    OMG they do not even have the current adoption pc lingo down. Wrong on sooo many level I would have to be a shrink to count them, and just think it is just a first instalment. Seriously I wanna discuss it but it is making me ill.

  • 3dogs1husband

    Why Did I Have to Be an Adopted Child?

    THAT is how one man, who was given up for adoption at birth, describes his life. He continues: "Practically every day of your life, your heart yearns to know answers to questions like, Who is my real family? Where are they living? Why did they abandon me?"

    Chantial, whose father was adopted, laments that she does not know who her biological grandparents are. She says: "I feel cheated because of not having the association of my uncles, aunts, and cousins." Not all adopted children feel this way. But some do. Why?

    A Cause of Anger

    Learning that one has been separated from one's biological family can send a child into an emotional tailspin. Catrina, who was adopted at an early age, says: "I had a problem with rage because I didn't understand why my birth mother gave me up. I felt that my mother was abandoning me because I was ugly and unlovable. If she would only give me a chance, I knew I could make her proud of me. Every thought of my birth mother only increased my level of anger."

    Catrina's relationship with her adoptive parents likewise came under great stress. "I felt that my adoptive parents took me away from my real mother," she says. "So I took my anger out on them." Yes, anger is sometimes a reaction to having been put up for adoption.

    Such anger can be dangerous. Sometimes, as Catrina's case suggests, you might tend to vent your anger in the wrong ways or take it out on the wrong people. The Bible counsels: "Let anger alone and leave rage." (Psalm 37:8) How is that possible? Well, God's Word also says: "The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger." (Proverbs 19:11) Insight into your own situation may help to ease your anger. How so?

    Your being adopted is evidence that someone loved you enough to take you in and care for you

    Correcting False Assumptions

    Insight can help you to examine the assumptions that fuel your anger. For example, if you were adopted, do you assume that your biological parents must have given you away because there was something wrong with you? That was how Catrina felt. But is that always the case? It may be impossible to determine what motivated your parents, but there are good reasons to avoid such a negative assumption. After all, why do parents usually give children up for adoption? Often, they feel that they have no other choice.

    Consider the example of Moses. The Bible account inExodus chapter 2 tells us that when the Egyptian Pharaoh decreed genocide against male Israelite babies, Jochebed kept her infant son, Moses, hidden for three months. Finally, hiding was no longer possible, but she could not bear to see her child executed. So "when she was no longer able to conceal him, she then took for him an ark of papyrus and coated it with bitumen and pitch and put the child in it and put it among the reeds by the bank of the river Nile."—Exodus 2:3.

    Abandoning her child in this manner was no doubt a very difficult thing for her to do. But what choice did she have? Her love for her son prompted her to do what she thought was best for him. Interestingly, her daughter stood guard nearby and remained until she saw that her baby brother was safely picked up. She may well have done so at the request of her anxious mother.

    Of course, not all cases of adoption are prompted by such clear-cut emergencies, but motives are often similar. Robert says: "I was conceived out of wedlock. Raising me would have put a heavy burden on my mother's household, since there were other children in the family. She may have reasoned that it was in my best interests to give me up for adoption."

    Granted, there are many reasons why children are given to other families to raise. But as these examples illustrate, it is not necessarily because the mother hates her baby or sees some defect in her child. In many cases, the mother sincerely believes that the child will be better off if raised by another family.

    The Value of Being Loved

    Gaining insight may help you further when you think about why you were adopted. Consider again Moses' example. In time, "the daughter of Pharaoh picked him up and brought him up as her own son." (Acts 7:21) What motivated Pharaoh's daughter to extend her protection to a child she knew to be one of the condemned Hebrews? "Here the boy was weeping," the Bible says. "At that she felt compassion for him." (Exodus 2:6) Yes, Moses' adoption was the result, not of his being hated or rejected, but of his being loved.

    Many adopted children come to realize that their biological parents did not simply abandon them—although that happens all too often these days—but presented them to some agency that would ensure that they would be cared for properly. And their subsequent adoption occurred because someone loved them enough to undertake their care. Might something similar be said of you? Focusing on the love you have received and valuing it can help to ease any pain you may feel.

    Furthermore, you may receive love from others besides your adoptive family. If you are part of the Christian congregation, you can enjoy the benefits of having many spiritual mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers who love you. (Mark 10:29-30) Christian elders can "prove to be like a hiding place from the wind and a place of concealment from the rainstorm, like streams of water in a waterless country, like the shadow of a heavy crag in an exhausted land." (Isaiah 32:2) Do not hesitate to seek out mature fellow Christians and confide in them. Let them know what is on your mind and in your heart.

    Robert feels that it is important to develop strong ties within the Christian congregation. "The emptiness I feel is still there," he acknowledges. "However, the love of my spiritual family pushes it off into a little corner of my heart."

    You Can Succeed

    So resist false and negative thinking. That includes the notion that success in life might somehow elude you because you were adopted. Such negative thoughts can prove very discouraging! (Proverbs 24:10) Besides, they have no basis in fact.

    Remember, Moses made the most of the opportunities afforded him. The Bible says: "Consequently Moses was instructed in all the wisdom of the Egyptians. In fact, he was powerful in his words and deeds." (Acts 7:22) More important, Moses took in spiritual instruction—so much so that his heavenly Father, Jehovah, was entirely real to him. (Hebrews 11:27) Did he succeed in life?

    Well, Moses later became leader of a mighty nation of perhaps three million or more. He became a prophet, judge, commander, historian, mediator of the Law covenant, and writer of the first five books of the Bible. In addition, he is generally credited with writing the book ofJob and Psalm 90. Yes, Moses lived a very successful life. Many adopted children similarly succeed, and so can you.

    Robert successfully raised two children and is currently serving as an elder in the Christian congregation. Looking back over his years as an adopted child, he says: "I have learned not to keep dwelling on what I can't fix but to be grateful for the blessings I have."

    If you are presently living in a foster home or have been adopted into a family, negative thoughts might assail you at times. But try to replace them with positive ones.Philippians 4:8, 9 promises that "the God of peace will be with you" if you "continue considering" things that are pleasing to God. What, though, are some further practical steps you can take to succeed while living with your adoptive family? A future article in this series will address that question.

  • 3dogs1husband

    By the way you will find few JW's that have adopted ..... I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE :)

  • WTWizard

    Why do they always equate success with being a strong witless? You know, the one that pious-sneers, the one that gets 200 hours a month or more of field circus, the one that is now a hounder or hounder-hounder, the one that went to Beth Hell and stayed there 50 years? Maybe it never occurred to them that people can succeed in life that do not pious-sneer, that never make it as assistant hounders, and that never go to Beth Hell at all.

  • jwfacts

    3dogs - In some countries it has been very difficult for JWs to adopt, due to their refusal of blood transfusions. There was a family in Tasmania that tried to adopt for years but were not allowed, even though they would have made great parents otherwise.

  • Jim_TX
    Chantial, whose father was adopted, laments that she does not know who her biological grandparents are. She says: "I feel cheated because of not having the association of my uncles, aunts, and cousins."

    Sorry. I stopped reading after this.

    What's the difference in being adopted and "not having the association of my uncles, aunts and cousins" or being shunned and "not having the association of my uncles, aunts and cousing"?

    I see no difference. How dare they try to make a sob story about adoption when they are the shun-kings.

    Actually, if you replace the word 'adopted' with 'shunned' in every instance, it makes very interesting reading.


    Jim TX

  • blond-moment

    Jim TX I was thinking exactly the same thing.

  • NewChapter

    The way these people Sparlock others---they have a lot of nerve trying to discuss why a family may actually give up one of it's own, when they don't think twice about it. NC

  • yourmomma

    maybe i am being unreasonable, but i would not allow any jw to adopt because of the blood issue. now, if there is a legal document that they can sign stating that they want the courts to take over and give blood, then fine, adopt away. but i dont feel right putting a child in a situation where the parents would allow them to die. in addition, you can make a great argument that any family in a cult should not be able to adopt. but again, perhaps i am harsh, but i do feel strongly this way.

    im interested in what other people think about this.

  • wasblind

    I agree Jim TX,

    I would think bein' shunned by a mother that nursed you , hurt more

    than bein' given up by a mother you never known

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