Can someone help me understand how this young man thinks?

by camicia 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • camicia

    My daughter is unbaptized but is recognized as JW since she goes out door to door. A baptized brother in high standing took some interest in her (staring, flirting, hanging about, hugging while intoxicated then keeping his distance before going back again and then withdrawing again ) and she ended up getting emotionally attached to this jerk & let him know. In between long drawn out silences he turned her down, saying "I don't know you" though he'd had long conversations with her (though would ignore her the following day after they had any close alone time) She said "All the Jw stuff aside, did you ever like me as well?" and he said "You're asking me something i can't answer." He also said "I'm terrified of..." but never said anything more.

    She ended up getting really upset and word is he's upset too... can anyone give me some insight of why he behaved the way he did?

  • St George of England
    St George of England
    hugging while intoxicated

    Tell the creep to stay away from your daughter and be done with it. If he can't even stay sober, nothing but problems lie ahead IMO.


  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Ditto what George said...

    Depends on the ages a bit obviously, but generally if he's a believer then he will be torn between wanting to pursue a course of action that could lead to something happening with your daughter (i.e going out) and not starting anything until she gets baptized (and a bit of time after that too) like he's supposed to.

    I was in a somewhat similar position when i was 16 (- 19), she was 13 (- 16) gorgeous but not baptized, I was serious and awkward but did the decent thing and waited pining away, mean time elders son swoops in, he doesnt give a damn she's so young and not baptized and neither did his parents and gets to go out with her for 2 years.

    Otherwise it could just be the usual teenage inexperience rearing it's head. Does he have any sisters a similar age? That usually goes a long way to helping a young man be more at ease.

    Of course i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here... it also could be that he's a social retard and a weirdo. LOL

  • wasblind

    Bein' intoxicated could be the reason he said " he didn't know her "

    Even though they had long talks, he did'nt grasp who she was

    as a person . she was mislead by his intoxication

    Jerks come in all religions, It wasn't until I came to this site, that I realized

    that JW's tend to have more baggage than normal

    Jerk + cult baggage = one big mess

    Knowin' what I know now 'bout this cult, I would not want my daughter

    to be romantically envolved wit a Jehovahs Witness

  • sir82
    can anyone give me some insight of why he behaved the way he did?

    I don't know him of course, but based on your brief description I'd say:

    He's a repressed, horny, JW male with little or no outlet for his sexual frustration. If he was raised as a JW, he also likely has the emotional maturity of an 8 year old.

    If your daughter has an ounce of sense she'll run far far away as fast as she can.

  • OnTheWayOut

    It sounds like a bunch of cult cognitive dissonance.

    He is trying to be normal and show an interest in a girl, but that damned cult thinking gets in the way. He might even like her more because she's not baptized, sort of a 'forbidden fruit' of the world.

    Nothing but pain and heartbreak from that sort.

  • wasblind

    Hello OTWO

    That's little Caleb all grown and f**k up

    Jus' sayin' , gotta keep it real

  • Iamallcool

    wasblind, I agree with you.

  • La Falta Habitacion Por Sr Hor-Hey!!
    La Falta Habitacion Por Sr Hor-Hey!!

    I've gotta hunch, it's that she's unbaptized, but he's attracted to her and can't entirely help himself. He wants to do what's natural, but he knows the pending consequences, such as tarnishing his standing within the congregation/circuit, and possibly a Local Needs talk for marking purposes. We just had a similar situaion locally, and from what I gather it's happening across the circuit with baptized publishers actively dating nonJWs or unbaptized publishers. It's amazining how a man-made religion can take something as natural as attraction and dating, and then turn it into something tabboo making everybody's lives complicated.

  • Lore

    Turns out I have a harder time grasping how men think than most women do.

    Seems like something made him switch from thinking: "I'm dating a soon-to-be witness so it's ok" to thinking: "I'm dating a worldly girl, this is wrong."

    Then again, if he's getting drunk and huggy but still in good standing, I'm at a loss.

    Not knowing anything else about the conversation. Her question: "All the Jw stuff aside, did you ever like me as well?" Makes it sound like he's rejecting her for religious reasons. And she wants to know if he'd date her if it wasn't against the rules.

    But hey, it sounds like they're breaking up. So at least it's ending well.

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