Reinstatement in the kingdom hall means that you'll still be shunned by all for a long time = decades!

by witchtowerwitch 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • witchtowerwitch

    M,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,your making me laugh!

  • bobld

    Not sure if this will fit here or maybe I should start a new topic.

    It is all to do with honour.However I'll put it this way.....Honour-killing phenomenon (patriachal custom).

    Its,despicable,heinous.A twisted concept of honour.No place in civilized society.However,they claim it is req'd to purify

    the name of the family.Protect family reputation.It's a horrific tradition of cleansing families tainted honour..

    Concept of family honour justifies the act in their eyes.

    Females in the family suppport the attacks.Its a community mentality.

    Now use your imagination an substitue applicable terms and see if the outcome is not horrific victimization.

  • WTWizard

    I believe it's a complete waste of time, unless it's for family. And then the others won't matter so much.

    As for me, I usually judge people by what they do that directly affects me. If a person gets disfellowshipped and had been mean-spirited toward me or expected me to follow an unusually strict version of the religion, I am much less inclined to forgive than if they were relatively liberal with me. The dingbat that dragged me into the cancer got disfellowshipped (including once before dragging me into the cancer and twice after), and it was a big relief when he was out because that meant not having to answer to his excessively strict mock-Jewish codes and laws (trying to emulate the Moasic Law).

    And note that this is all contrary to what their own LIE-ble instructs. Their own LIE-ble instructs them to forgive when they first see repentance. It has the account of Peter, who basically disowned the faith three times and was raised to a lofty position just 40 days later. It has the prodigal son, who screwed up badly and was welcomed back as soon as he came back. Right in their own LIE-ble, but not in the hounders' secret documents.

  • sir82

    Not my experience either.

    There's plenty enough of things to criticize the WTS over, let's not make stuff up or make blanket generalizations that just aren't true.

  • LongHairGal


    I saw that years ago when somebody was reinstated. If they had family members already there the bad effects were "softened" somewhat. After all, if your family members are a safety net around you, you might not notice if some judgmental people don't want to say hello.

    I wondered to myself, why people would treat a reinstated person this way? In many cases a person was DF'd because of immorality so this is a private "sin". Didn't involve other people in the hall so why the hell have an attitude towards some poor person? And, I don't want to hear the crap about "bringing reproach on Jehovah's name". This excuse just doesn't fly as far as I am concerned.

    Thinking back on it, I could only imagine what somebody like ME, who is single, would have to go through. I would have to have a grudge against myself to even tolerate such garbage from people who I wouldn't give you a nickel for.

    I am certain that this unloving attitude is what causes many reinstated people to "fade" from the religion. Well, it serves the religion right!

  • fokyc

    Which is why I shall NEVER return to a Kingdom hall again.

    I am free, nobody from the KH talks to me and I don't miss any of them.

    I enjoy having been disfellowshipped for the last 4 months, it is like an enormous weight taken from my shoulders.

  • Deceived

    I got disfellowshiped when I was 18 and came back in when I was 28. The Elders treated me like I had some disease all snooty and standoffish. Of course they made me sit at the back of the hall for 6 months and told me I better go to at least 1 meeting a week for that time. It was humiliating and lonely. I was so humble and innocent putting all my cards on the table and trusting them. They finally decided to reinstate me and I was so excited thinking I would be welcomed back like the prodical son. No WAY, everyone treated me like I was contaminated or infected with some disease.

    I moved 3 times before the stigma of being reinstated was shed but I still was never treated well because I had 4 little kids and a unbelieving husband so I guess I was considered weak in the truth. I tried so hard but it was never good enough so I just gave up after 7 years and quit going. The only ones that treated me nice were the so called weak publishers or poor people in the congregation.

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Yes, the stigma of once a sinner always a sinner will stick with you for quite some time, maybe even forever.

    That is unless you move far away where no one knows about your past. (And if you do this don't be stupid enough to tell anyone either.)

  • Quendi

    One thing to remember about reinstatement: the only thing that changes is that you are no longer officially shunned. So the people who really liked you will welcome you back with open arms. The others will continue to snub you as they did before. Why? Well, the reinstated person is still under restrictions that can take years to remove. No commenting at meetings. No participation in the Theocratic Ministry School. No parts on the circuit assembly, special assembly day or district convention programs. You are expected to attend all the meetings and go out in field service. The "privileges" will be restored only when the elders have determined that you have groveled at their feet long enough for them to restore them.

    The entire procedure, from judicial committee hearings to disciplinary action to reinstatement is completely unscriptural. So it should come as no surprise that reinstated people rarely get back to where they were before being disfellowshipped. I've known of a few cases where men were made ministerial servants and thereafter elevated to the office of elder but those are rare cases indeed. The reinstated person is relegated to second-class membership.

    Every congregation is different and that is why many move to another one after their reinstatement. It is the only way to end the assault against their pride and self-esteem. When I was disfellowshipped, I attended meetings in another congregation where the elders went out of their way to make me feel wanted and welcome. My home congregation's elders, by contrast, left no stone unturned to keep me out, denying my reinstatement for some five years. The variation in my treatment was a major factor in helping me break free from the organization for good and all.


  • Londo111

    I don't believe this type of treatment is what Paul had in mind. In the book, In Search of Christian Freedom, Brother Franz analyzed this topic from all angles, and what the Society practices is simply not Christianity by any measure.

    In regard to the Witnesses, it does probably vary, place to place, individual to individual. It probably matters why one is going back. If we are here, we don't believe it's the truth. And while the association with family and a few friends has something to do with it, I believe some of us want to help awaken them. Or make the attempt, because we well know what we are up against.

    Just like the people in Jonestown or Waco, Witnesses are victims of BITE mind control. Some days, I forget that, and I am quite angry. But then, I remember, "That's right, it's a cult! This is what cults do."

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