The whole religion is foul. They create many an emotional problem with their stupid rules--especially those who are born in. Just about everything that is human nature, they trash and claim it's sinful. Why would a loving God create humans with the craving for sex and then deprive them of it, or make it "dirty"? And why make so many rules that prevent people from trying out new sex among each other? And they make such a big deal about it.
Additionally, they demand so much of your time. They expect you to read rubbish. Most of what you read is about attending boasting sessions, making more sacrifices, shunning fun, and giving your material belongings to the religion while doing all you can to cut back on work. And when they come up with something that seems to be substantial, it is for Jews only (they are the only ones involved in any of the "classes" and pacts--for everyone else, reading it is a complete waste of your time because you are not involved). Yet, you are supposed to figure out how you are supposed to fit in (you don't, unless you are actually a Jew) as a pretext for judging spirituality.
Not to mention, you can't do enough. No matter what, you should be doing more. They make up stories about someone in an iron lung pious-sneering for 60 years, someone crossing crocodile rivers and walking 30 km each way to go to boasting sessions and never missing despite being beaten upon returning home, and the sickly brother putting in 230 hours a month in field circus. Never mind that, for them, the opportunity cost is probably much lower than for the average working person.
While you might succeed in getting back in, I would not recommend it unless you have a damn good reason. Once you are back in, they are going to watch to make sure you are keeping up on your spiritually deadening work. You are actually better off simply doing basic meditation and non-doctrinal yoga than trying to get reinstated. A damn good reason might be to gain back family members, but you will need to fade and then they might blow you back in or shun you anyways. Starting with a simple void meditation (thinking of nothing) for, at first, a few seconds at a time (and working to 15 minutes) will probably do you more good than a lifetime of boasting sessions and field circus--and that's the most basic meditation.
