Mr Sloth and the Flood

by avatar 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • avatar
    avatar

    So let's talk about the Global Flood.

    How did the animals get to the ark?

    I mean how fast does a Sloth Swim?

    The sloth swims at 0.15 mph.

    That means he will swim 3.6 miles in a day if he swims for 24 hours straight.

    So to get to the middleast he would have to swim for 5 years straight with no rest, time spent looking for food or slothing around!

    He would have to swim in a straight line to get there. Then Super Sloth would have to find the ark and the crazy Noah, time it perfectly, jump inside the ark for a year and 40 days and swim back for 5 more years, have sex with Mrs. Sloth (who apparently would have made the same journey although maybe she was smarter than Mr Sloth and just treaded water for a year and 40 days and landed back in South America instead of swimming for 10 years just to get back to the same place it all started from).

    How can anyone believe this flood drivel?

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    Oh boy, you just made my Fundie Bible Literalist brain explode ! LOL

  • designs
    designs

    All things are possible with God and a neat pair of Finis Zoomers Swim Fins.

  • bohm
    bohm

    Modern geology confirm that before the flood there was only one giant landmass!

    checkmate!

  • designs
    designs

    Yea it was called Kanada....

  • bohm
    bohm

    omg that is why they were called CANENITES in the bible!

    it all fits!

  • avatar
    avatar

    " Modern geology confirm that before the flood there was only one giant landmass!"

    checkmate!

    Ahh...but sloths swim twice as fast as they "run". Uncheckmate!!

  • bohm
    bohm

    Ahh...but sloths swim twice as fast as they "run". Uncheckmate!!

    But it would not need to run very far to get to the ark since it was just nearby, one of noahs sons could simply have wheeled two into the ark on a wheelborrow.

    also before the fall sloths could have been good runners. there is plenty of evidence sloths are particulary stricken by sin, (1) being lazy is one of the 10 deathsins. (2) their hands are known to be very hairy, a good indication of their sinfull nature. (3) the expression "you slut" clearly point to a common cultural understanding that sloths (sluts) are very bad.

    [updated]

  • avatar
    avatar

    Sinful Slutty Sloths Indeed!!

    I think Bohm just convinced me to follow Jesus!

    Jesus will forgive all my sloths.

    i love it Bohm - you made me laught like a nut!

  • Diest
    Diest

    LOL BOHM

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