Finally, a simple cure for depression

rebel8

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

Book Description

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore... (and here, to respect the posting rules here, I am just going to refer you to the above link...) So there you have it. We've all been doing it wrong. This sounds like a Golden Age suggestion, like jumping up and down naked to cure a cold.

ziddina

I suspect that the hysterical laughter you'd generate - in yourself AND in other people - would help alleviate depression...

metatron

How does it make you less depressed if you develop bulging muscles that you can't show anybody?

metatron

wha happened?

it does remind me of the nutty "cures", introduced in the Golden Age. Laying on one side facing north

rebel8

Denting a navel 100x is difficult. How do you do it so many times without smashing it to pieces?

biometrics

I'm "constricting [my] anus" as I type this ... 99, 100!

Now, how do I dent my navel?

biometrics

Looks like a real interesting read:

rebel8

Reviews: (tears are coming out of my eyes)

permit me to say that several days after I started this practice, I experienced what was probably the largest bowel movement in my life

At the end of the book, the author (Niroyuki Nishigaki) thanks everyone for "finishing reading what I have written in bad English." Bad English indeed! I'll share one of my favorite lines with you..."Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."

NOT Malarkey, Effective Way!, A lovely treatise on the power of positive-sphincking. PS Added bonus; if all goes well, I'll be able to use my anus as a pencil sharpener....

I did these exercises for a day and felt a minor lift in spirit. My Goodbye Depression Breakthrough (GDB) came the next day when I put on my 3-Wolves shirt and repeated the routine. In that moment I left my body and found myself delivered to the foot of a THE double-rainbow. All of my heroes were waiting for me there, and collectively they taught me that my clenched butt was creating a vacuum that harnessed the rainbow-essence for personal use. So far I have seen its benefits in faster lane changes and negotiating discounts at Waffle House, but I'm sure there are more uses.

Constrict Your Anus 2 - "Electric Boogaloo", March 27, 2006 By portapeeps "portapeeps" I can't wait until the sequel to this book comes out - "squeeze your nipples 423 times a day to relieve headaches"...I have heard that this book was a cast-aside chapter of the New Testament. Apparently, some idiot thought that this wouldn't be prudent as Bible-material. Well, it sure is prudent to me. I've been teaching my dog to obey this book as well. In fact, I'm working on a technique to teach dogs how to constrict their anuses at your command.

theBGB

Bahahahaha! Good work, rebel8, good work. :P

wha happened?

I constricted my anus at every meeting at the KH, and I never felt better as a result

Finally, a simple cure for depression

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