SOCIAL F'ING RETARD.
How Did/Has the WTBTS Affected Your Social Skills?
by ABibleStudent 46 Replies latest jw experiences
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Nice_Dream
Basically born-in, I suck at communicating, am shy, self-conscious, submissive, don't trust people, and am anti social. I blame part of this on my upbringing. My parents never had anyone over and we rarely went to witness gatherings. Luckily I had really nice friends at school, although I wasn't allowed to spend time with them after school hours.
I am proud of both my children who are somehow really confident and social! I hope they stay that way.
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just n from bethel
How Did/Has the WTBTS Affected Your Social Skills?
It's really easy and habitual for me to go up to complete strangers and tell them their beliefs are stupid and will lead to their death shortly if they don't start thinking like me.
I prefer to do this when people are
a) relaxing or sleeping in on the weekends
b) in the middle of yardwork or making a living from home
c) running out the door to do something important, like getting their kids to school
d) walking around their home in their underwear or birthday suit not expecting anyone to show up
Since I was not only taught the above was normal and started doing it from the time I was 4 or 5, I'm pretty sure people find my social skills quite admirable. However, for some reason I don't have many friends - go figure. All I do is tell people what they believe is retarded. I don't see why I'm not really popular.
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TMS
It's a mixed bag really. I'm not a ballroom dancer, but that is true of many men. Much of social etiquette is simply common sense, graciousness. Many years of pioneering and as an elder and, of course, public speaking, made me sort of a conversationalist and at first I tried a bit too hard to prove that I belonged. Now, I/we mix easily with professionals with advanced degrees, judges, lawyers, public officials and we show an interest in them.
It's almost morbid to say this, but all those years on judicial committees taught me how to ask questions. I write a blog, which is a must read for people in our city of 200,000. I would have answered this question differently 10 years ago, but now I see that the JW background is sort of an advantage in social settings. Of course, we're not on the same financial footing as any of these people, but we don't act subservient. The publicity, coverage and possible criticism we are capable of gives us a certain standing in this community and the people skills we employ are largely from JWdom.
tms
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ABibleStudent
for everyone who has responded so far. I'm curious why no one has asked anyone else in this thread a question about their experiences or opinion.
Chemical Emotions - SOCIAL F'ING RETARD.
For example, I would like to ask Chemical Emotions was this because of WTBTS doctrines or how her parents raised her and interpreted those doctrines.
clearpoison - In my view I got very positive social education in congregation. Being that very shy and direct boy could really have halted my social experiences. But holding rehearseal speeches and been more or less forced to communicate with lots of different people and not forgetting to mention going to doors of total strangers helped me to cope with this aspect of life. I am not saying that I would be cured, I'm still shy and cautious but I can freely engage in any kind of discussion even with people I do not not, or when there is need to conduct small talk for example in work related events.
What the schools could learn young people in this area is really minimal fraction of what would really be needed, not all people are social and outgoing by default.
CP
I might ask clearpoison were you born-in, were you home schooled, is English your first language, were you in a hurry to type your post, and have you or do you plan to attend college?
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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Chemical Emotions
"For example, I would like to ask Chemical Emotions was this because of WTBTS doctrines or how her parents raised her and interpreted those doctrines."
Mostly the doctrines themsleves. I was pretty sheltered too, though. But at least I had siblings, and got to get out occasionaly.
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clearpoison
Yes, no, no, no but slightly drunk, yes
As you can see, today I'm not in the mood for small talk, will meet my therapist soon.
CP
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Joe Grundy
I'm not and never have been a dub. I hope that my views won't cause offence - none is intended - and they probably apply equally to most 'committed' fundies.
I have experienced many times conversations with JWs where initially they come across as confident, informed and knowledgeable conversationalists. But inevitably at some point one can almost see the eyes glaze over and they go into 'robot' mode when rational discussion (and the ability to reason and accept, or at least consider, alternative points of view or be open-minded as to evidence) ceases.
In RL, IME people can have an open discussion however different their views and however heated it may get, at the conclusion they can agree to differ and may even concede that the other may have raised some points worthy of consideration. Without exception, my conversations with dubs have concluded with them (metaphorically) putting their fingers in their ears and singing 'la la la la, can't hear you' which is the equivalent of 'if I close my eyes you can't see me'.
I appreciate that this is only one area of 'social skills'. My take on the question posed in OP is that while WTBTS training MAY enhance a dub's capability to make an initial approach for conversation the actual 'social skills' to continue to a 'normal' conversation are severely limited by the 'programming' inherent in that same WTBTS training.
No offence intended.
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andys
In the Borg I didn't have no friends, I didn't even know how to interact with people socially, I have a form of Autism(PDD-Nos) also there was this one time that I was told that the reason I didn't have no friends was because I was "spiritually weak" after I woke up over time I have learned how to interact with people, also now I have friends, on May 27th all my friends will be throwing a birthday party for me, I'll also have some pictures posted on here:)
Looking back at the time when I was in the Borg I didn't know that there was this social mask over me but since I have gotten out I have learned alot more on my social skills and the mask has lifted.
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Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
I feel rather socially inept when it comes to anything/anyone outside my job and/or the $ociety.
And don't even get me started on interacting with, GASP, the opposite sex.