How Did/Has the WTBTS Affected Your Social Skills?

by ABibleStudent 46 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ABibleStudent

  Good or Bad? How did/has the WTBTS affected your social skills, social development, and/or how you interact with other people? I have many questions about different social skills that I will ask either after other people post to this thread or to keep this thread active. There is no right or wrong way to respond to this thread. Now is your chance to either sound off or praise the WTBTS for helping you, so type away!!

  Since a former friend tried to recruit me into the WTBTS, I have been wondering if the WTBTS helped JWs learn how to be supportive of other people and their opinions? How has your JW experiences affected how you behave now to other people in person or in on-line support forums?

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
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  wha happened?

  I wasn't raised a dub, so I didn't prescribe to the school of learning as little as possible, while attending school
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  Zordino

  This is one of the GREATEST of damages being born in and growing up in this CULT that makes me angry! The belief's and the cutting us off from the rest of society greatly affected mine and many other born ins I know in a VERY Negative way. Anti social, self rightous, behavior is very prevelant especially in born ins. How can it not when we were put into a mental prison and they threw away the key! Many dubs are still very reclusive and very Socialy Okward, Shy, mistrustful of others, very selfish, uneducated, do not develop a normal concience but a WatchTower concience (very diffrent) and many suffer from many phobia's, sleeping disorder's, depression and mental illnesses because of it.
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  Zordino

  How can any kid come out normal when you pound 5 meetings a week (back in those days) about how everyone is gona die in the big A and if you do not behave, you'll be one of them. its a death cult plain and simple! In took me until my Late 30's to start feeling socialy normal and I still get bout's of the Crazy's because of the years of indoctrination. I hate this Cult!
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  clearpoison

  In my view I got very positive social education in congregation. Being that very shy and direct boy could really have halted my social experiences. But holding rehearseal speeches and been more or less forced to communicate with lots of different people and not forgetting to mention going to doors of total strangers helped me to cope with this aspect of life. I am not saying that I would be cured, I'm still shy and cautious but I can freely engage in any kind of discussion even with people I do not not, or when there is need to conduct small talk for example in work related events.

  What the schools could learn young people in this area is really minimal fraction of what would really be needed, not all people are social and outgoing by default.

  CP
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  supernerdboy

  Well I learned how to read well at from the motivation of being in the "TMschool". Other then that it teaches you not to have an open mind. For instance I always felt gays wer ^$%#(* fags, now that I am leaving I just dont know, mabe are world would be better if we exept them.
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  3d808

  Being born in sucked !! I?m a social retard. The biggest problem I had/have is trusting others. I know it?s from my upbringing and I hate it.
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  Band on the Run

  I had trouble learning all the little things the WT forbids. Dancing, for instance. I had no trouble when young. My ardent JW cousin corrected me harshly, telling me I was acting like a Watusi. Jungle fever besides dancing. I recall begging my mom to teach me ballet and ball room, believing all adults knew how. She was born-in, too. I was so rigid I could not free form dance. Finally, I saw an ad in the Village Voice and saw a weird professional dancer for lessons. Now it is no big deal. My mom pointed out to me as a child that her parents would waltz around here but she was not good enough to learn. Miriam danced. People dance before the Lord all the time.

  Something natural that was so awkward for me. The more nervous you get, the more klutzy you become.

  I did not know how to make small talk with people. Can't blame all of it on the Witnesses. My parents and the Witnesses created a perfect storm. There have been stark class differences in my life, too.

  Dating is another horror story. I saw my mom as a loser for marrying my father who did not love her. It seemed genetic. I grew up with marriage as being wrong. All I wanted to do was go to Bethel.

  We never socialized other than Witness stuff. Films were out. Tickets to concerts were out. We did go to parades, even patriotic ones.

  My mom thought the mere act of going to college would instantly give me all the skills that were never developed. College was social hell. I made the transition finally. Law school was so much fun compared to college.

  It was a big deal when I started doing fine art events. Growing up I thought you had to born to society to attend the opera or ballet. Later, I had subscriptions and waited at the stage door for stars. My life is so different in ways I could not have imagined.

  I realize all kids have adjustment problems. A friend recently discussed how great home schooling was. Normally, people are entitled to their opinion. I may not agree. I lost it and started screeching at her. Home schooling would have destroyed me for certain. School provided a haven from an abusive parent and the mind control of the Witnesses. I honestly believe I appreciate doing social things more than the average person. It seems so routine and then something will trigger a memory. Pity the born-in child.
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  Nambo

  Pretty much the same as Clearpoison has said, its helped me no end for the same reason.

  I came in in my 20s, I had very poor communication skills, I remember one girlfriend asking me why I dont talk, I belive this stems from my childhood and being left alone in my room most of the time, with no social interaction.

  Once I "got the truth", things happened, a girl I was quite attracted too, but said I was too nice as she preffered "bastards", suddenly called me out the blue to come and see her, of course I went with a Live forever book and the fire of Jeremiah in my mouth, she said, "its like you have been suddenly attached to a computer, where is all this coming from"?

  Turned out I wasnt really shy at all, just never had anything worth talking about, and I still dont know how to talk about nothing, but the troof has given me the knowledge and confidence that I can talk to anybody.

  And where as before I was allways sullen, now I smile at people and they smile back and become chatty with me on a dailly basis, (where I work now there are about 1000 people), this would never have happened without the ministry work.
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  Bungi Bill

  I would have described myself as being "socially inhibited" as a result of WTBS indoctrination.

  The only contact with members of the public was in the "service" - which meant either :

  (a) rows and rows of houses in which nobody was at home / nobody appeared to be home.

  (b) and those who were home - or would at least answer their doors - nearly always resented you being there.

  Not much scope for social development there!

  As for the kingdom hall, it was hardly the place for socialising (none of the ones I attended, anyway).

  Bill.

  PS: I once thought that the Theocratic Ministry School did help develop ones speaking skills - until I found out what a real course in public speaking was like!