Tough Question for ExElders... (page 2)

Imbue

Not an elder because at birth I was missing those extra brain cells that get stored in a penis.

But, an elder wife once told me: her husband and his side kick finished a bottle of booze over a particular DFing. See they rushed her baptism and his wife studied with her toward the end of her study of the Knowledge book. They also dropped her socially like a hot potato straight after her baptism.

Now this is gossip so listen up: The women they DF'd divorced her abusive non-JW husband met a nice man on the Internet went into a psych ward 30d eval, quit smoking, cut back on drinking, got remarried, started back at meetings, new husband baptized, "doing well"(at least not on psych ward).

Now they tell her she needs to change from a loving book study to the book study of the elder that DF'd her. She replied to them "I feel like I'm being punished."

Point is sometimes they feel guilty and get smashed over DFing

If the head be corrupt, so also must be the members — The Two Babylons Alexander Hislop

Stealth

This is one reason I have always been vocal as to why I would never want to be an elder when I was active.

As an imperfect human I could never sit on a JC and judge another imperfect human. I prefer to leave the to Jesus.

Question; Can an elder refuse to participate in a JC if it bothers his conceince, or would he be pressured to do so?

Golden Girl

You have friends that are witnesses???Don't you know bad associations spoil useful habits? GG

Lee Elder

The first time you disfellowshiped someone was there regret? sadness? or a sense of justice?

This was about 15 years ago so the memories are not vivid but I recall feeling sad. This was a young sister you had become pregnant by her "worldy" boy friend. We had reproved her but she ended up with him again a short time later. No sense of justice just the feeling of having to carry out an unpleasant task.

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Did you have doubts as to your qualifications to be making this decision?

Don't recall that - too brainwashed at the time.

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Were you nervous, was there any doubt in your mind at all that this was the right decision?

Don't recall having any real doubt about the situation since we had recently reproved her for the same conduct.

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When it was over did you feel like God's Spirit had helped in the decision making?

Not really.

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Recently ran ito this gal and her daughter and had a nice visit with her. She seemed pretty surprised that my wife and I were willing to talk with her. Sad to hear that her daughter is studying. Getting out was probably the best thing that could have happened to the sister. She seems to be doing well.

Lee

ThiChi

I tried to have the mindset that my job was to extend mercy any way I could. We are, in fact, a congregation of sinners, and all are here for support.

However, you can tell a mile away someone who, by their past (and current) conduct, was just using the sheep for their own gain, then I would not hesitate to act. As an example, one sister was just “screwing” her way through the list of single brothers at our hall. After her forth victory, we said “Good bye, you are the weakest link....” lol.

sf

I have a question too:

As a "disfellowshipping elder", did you EVER once utter to the disfellowshippee that "jehovah will no longer hear your prayers or cries for help. Only Satan can now"?

If you never said it like this directly or verbatim, HOW did you say this to them? What did/ do elders say re: the prayers that you utter AFTER being "cast out"? And how did you feel AND think about saying such to a child who had been disfellowshipped?

Thank you, sKally

If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger

WildTurkey

For me Xena, the thoughts of Frenchy and mine on the subject are pretty much the same.
I served on a number of JC hearings, and I feel most of the time when a person was df'd
they really wanted out. I tell you what always bothered me was young ones getting baptized, then going through the teens and getting in trouble. It really is not right to let a 9 or 10 year old get baptized into the brog, hell an adult don't really know what they are getting into much less a kid.

DB

I had served on several JCs, and disliked doing it each time. I felt regrets and also that I was not really qualified to sit in judgement or another person. My imperfections weighed heavily on my mind each time I sat to judge the weaknesses of another person.

After one sister was df'd, I felt awful the following day. She had a husband who had been a pain in her neck for years and who himself had been df'd, then reinstated. I had trouble blaming her for falling for another guy after being married to a guy like him. Another sister was a good friend of mine, and she was a single woman nearing the age of 30 who looked for a mate and waited and waited for a brother, but then she got involved sexually with a non-witness. To be honest, I felt terrible about having to df a woman who simply had natural urges and was lonely and simply could not hold out any longer.

Another dfing I really disliked was of a woman who had been smoking. No one in the cong. even knew her. I felt that consideration of the matter should have been held until she possibly would become active again. It was like we just hunted her down and df'd her. I regret not speaking up to the other elders on that one and being more vocal in my misgivings about what we were doing.

Here's an odd thing, though...when I was an elder, in a strange way, part of me wanted an announcement to be made, part of me sort of looked forward to "shocking" the cong. I don't know why. It was like I wanted them to be aware that we were busy making the cong. safe for them, like we were heroic in some way. I hate that I felt that way! To this day, I regret it deeply.

Good post, Xena!

sf

Interesting....no replies to MY questions, yet.

Perhaps a separate thread where it can be WITNESSED by such ex and not-so-ex elders, will generate more response. Perhaps.

sKally

If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger

Beans

As you know I left at 16 before I had the privledge of becoming an elder and following in my fathers footsteps! But as the son of the PO I saw my Dad take many matters very seriously as if he was Gods channel or shall we say the Watchtowers!Many times we were sent to our rooms because he was on the phone and our ears were glued to the floor and it usually was something so stupid but a real matter for the elders,I guess it gave them something to do.

When I think back I really see how much time he wasted with the Kingdom Hall maters which left little time for my mother and us!

Beans

Tough Question for ExElders...

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