Why Does The Partner Who Is Less than" In Love Marry Anyway?
by caliber 55 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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caliber
Why Does The Partner Who Is Less than In Love Marry Anyway?
.They believe there are no better prospects out there than the one they've got ?
.The partner proposing marriage offers other things that are important to them, such as good parenting attributes, attentiveness, emotional stability or financial security ? ( may like or love the person but not" in love", but they are secure and comfortable in a financial aspect so they enjoy themselves more with the person, they can go out together go on trips together and
some marry for what they then think is love, but it is security only ...without deep feelings
.They believe that a passionate, attractive, charismatic partner is more likely to cheat on them or leave them. They choose someone less attractive than they are to feel safer from infidelity and more in control of the relationship The older you get the less drama (turmoil) you need in your life !
.They have low expectations for marital satisfaction but prefer the idea of marriage to remaining single ?
( over the years and time however partners who thought there were no better prospects for them manage to meet someone who does seem better (at least on the surface) and who wants them. Dormant fantasies bubble to the surface (Partners who thought they would somehow fall more in love over time feel even less passionate because a big part of falling in love has to do with mystery, novelty, discovery and challenges.The new interest seems to fill this need or hidden desire.)
the partner becomes more malleable, clingy and insecure until the love and respect the partner used to feel for them becomes completely eroded.
.they did it to please mom & dad or a religion ?
Can you really ever hope to fall in love with someone later .... in the future ?
Or is it like expecting a child... you know nothing about them but you know you will love them just the same ..as soon as they arrive ?Did you believe that if both are "in the truth " you'll both have fine qualities and things will "work out " ?
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Ucantnome
It could be that one believed the end was close and then the partner was going to be made perfect having not found anything better, might as well get married.
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james_woods
Maybe one or two of Donald Trump's exes would like to comment on this?
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Magwitch
I beleived that since we were both regular pioneers, Jehovah would bless us and we would be blissfully happy even though we were polar opposites and had nothing in common besides the religion.
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james_woods
I beleived that since we were both regular pioneers, Jehovah would bless us and we would be blissfully happy even though we were polar opposites and had nothing in common besides the religion.
That was pretty much the story with my twelve year long JW marriage. We discovered we really had nothing in common as well - curiously enough, a year or two after we both left the religion.
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clearpoison
To get some
CP
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FlyingHighNow
The new interest seems to fill this need or hidden desire.)
It's true that sometimes a person finds someone who seems to fit this role. Then eventually it all fizzles. If the marriage was separated, then hopefully the person will realize finding the right life partner is not usually a simple thing.
On the other hand...
Sometimes the new interest DOES fill this need and desire. Sometimes a person who married for less than super compatiblilty, chemistry, in love kind of love and great communication will find the person who would have fit much better into the role of his/her lifelong mate.
All in all, the mate who was left behind should understand that it's not his or her fault that his partner wasn't in love. Had that partner passed him or her up, then it would hopefully have allowed someone, who would fall madly in love, to come along, in time.
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flipper
CALIBER- Having been a person myself who is on my 3rd marriage ( now for almost 6 years very happy to a great lady ) and having dated several ladies at various times in my 7 years I was single between marriages- from what I've observed I can say with a certainty that one reason a person who loves less and marries someone they don't REALLY love is either for financial convenience OR insecurities within themself of not being able to find anyone else or a suitable partner. It's called " settling " . A lot of people do it - but it's not really healthy in the long run mentally, emotionally, or physically - especially if you don't match up well with a person mentally, emotionally, or sexually. Just my 2 cents. True love is possible, but it takes effort and unselfishness on BOTH parties to have good relationship
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FlyingHighNow
Marriage isn't something that easily flows through hard times. Even for partners who are crazy about each other and very compatible, there will be times that challenge the bond. If you have at least one of the partners who isn't very in love, the challenges can easily sever the marriage, barring any social or religious pressures to remain married.
It's called " settling " .
This is true. And then there are the arranged marriages of some cultures and religions where often neither partner is in love. Those marriages are more akin to business arrangements to provide a place to raise children, business arrangements without easy escape clauses. Sounds like a bummer.
The "in love "kind of love, that level of attraction, it's not something anyone can create. It's either there or it isn't. We cannot force ourselves or anyone else to "fall in love."