Elders want to pay a visit

by varian 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  varian

  Hi,

  I had a phone call recently. Two Elders want to come round.

  Now I´ve been out for approx. 8 years. During that time I never had a visit from any JW.

  A lot of unpretty things happend before I left, and there are also many things unspoken I would like to get off my chest.

  So I basicly agreed for a potential meeting one day.

  My intension is to start off by being very polite and talk positive. And after a while I´ll come up with all the facts and disappoinments I experienced.

  I know some of you might say to not even bother. But there are some points that still spin in my head i would like to get rid of, in order to have some kind of peace of mind.

  Another thing I would like to ask, is the question whether they have contacted me, because they´ve received a letter from the CO, or if it was their own decision.

  Thanks...Varian
• 

  cantleave

  If you say too much it could go down the JC route, are you prepared for that?
• 

  nugget

  It sounds as if they are cleaning house and looking to resolve your status. This visit is probably a formality prior to df'ing. If you have been out for 8 years I am guessing they could do their worst and you wouldn't really care too much so the choice is very much yours. What I would say is that they will not really be listening to you or what you have to say, their focus will be on establishing where you stand and if you cannot be brought into line you will be removed from their ranks. If this will help you shake them off and get closure then do it.
• 

  Chariklo

  If my own recent experience is anything to go by, I'd say avoid them like the plague. What good could possibly come of it?

  Don't let your curiosity as to why now get the better of you. Stay clear. Say you're not interested, and walk right away.
• 

  Broken Promises

  After 8 years I'd say to them, "why bother?" and refuse to meet with them.

  But it sounds like you have a few things to get off your chest and if it's what you want to do, then go for it. Be prepared to be df'd though.
• 

  mind blown

  RUN FOR YOU LIFE!!! (kidding, but not really)......... they are tricky bastards....

  It could be because of a recent CO visit. It could also be because the memorial is around the corner. It could be someone saw you doing something (smoking or something) and snitched you off. It could be they're going through their publsher cards for sheparding calls. It could be they are going through publisher cards to clean house.

  I found this thread on JWN re your situation, check it out lots of good advice:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/201041/1/ELDERS-want-to-meet-with-me

  Note: I found this post below especially true and informative. It was on the same thread I suggested you read above:

  By Donuthole:

  "It may be that they sincerely want to visit with you and see how you are doing; however, don't discount the idea that they might be stopping by to see how you feel about "Jehovah's Organization" with the idea of getting you back to the meetings or disfellowshipping you. You asked, "Should I be worried?" I assume that meant you still want to remain a Witness, officially, while still being inactive.

  If it was simply one elder dropping by I wouldn't worry too much. If there are two elders than they might be making an investigation visit. If you don't want to be disfellowshipped you need to be very, very guarded with what you say to them. You would want to avoid expressing any doubts over their practices or teachings. You specifically need to avoid the question, "Do you believe this is Jehovah's Organization?". You also need to be careful if they try to put you in a corner by asking, "Do you still feel you are one of Jehovah's Witnesses?" What they may be doing is trying to lead you into a line of conversation where you will disassociate yourself by word.

  I don't know your reason for being out for five years but the the explanation that they will accept the best would be discouragement over how people treated you. Alternatively you could talk about depression or getting distracted with work and life or something like that.

  It might be best to put off the meeting and see how persistant they are to meet with you. Unless they are on witch hunt, Elders can be pretty unzealous about their theocratic routines. In the new elder's book they are specificly counseled against spending too much time with "chronic cases". If you put off their visit they might lose interest."
• 

  varian

  thank you all very much.

  i forgotten to mention, that i have been d´fd for about 8 years.

  but i wasn´t alone to blame. there were nasty things happening with the bros at that time, wich got me into depression and other kinds of mess.
• 

  JRK

  varian,

  You are in the position that I was. They are probably trying to get you to come back. I had a visit like that 6 1/2 years after being DFed. It is the perfect opportunity to get things off your chest. After all, what are they going to do, double disfellowship you?

  When they asked me if there was anything keeping me from coming back, I brought up the UN/NGO and pedophilia issues. It was fun to speak to these elders with no fear, as there was nothing further that they could do to me.

  Good luck,

  JK

  PS: I bet they are covering their rears for a new CO's visit.
• 

  finally awake

  double secret disfellowshipping - LOL
• 

  Phizzy

  Give 'em a hard time, varien, get them to show you why it is god's organization etc