I have been thinking a lot about my cousin who was sexually abused in my mother’s home. I am still angry. So I had to ask myself, “Why am I more angry at her than I am at him?” My answer to that is that she had an obligation to protect every child who came into her home. So what is my rationale for that?
My mother has dogs. She loves her dogs, dotes on them and they are great dogs. Well at least the ones I knew were great. But what if one of those dogs had a history of biting people? If the dog bit a child while in her home would she be held legally responsible? Would her responsibility end if she told the parents that the dog bites so don’t let the child get too close or leave them alone with the child? What if she gave no warning and the child was bitten? Does that increase her responsibility and liability?
In many places there are laws that require some dogs to be muzzled when going out. If a dog bites a child they are often put down. There is a zero tolerance for animals that attack, especially if the victim is a child. And the owners can be sued for the actions of the dog.
Well my stepfather is not a dog. But he had a history of sexually abusing children both his own and my sister who was living in his house. She told me about those assaults. Did that mean she was off the hook if he abused another child? Did she warn my uncle? Would that have left her off the hook, lessen her responsibility?
This man, like my sister’s father, sexually abused children over a period of decades. And he was never reported for it. As far as I know his daughters never reported him although they did tell my mother. When he attempted to abuse my sister my mother did not report him, just like she never reported my sister’s father.
Maybe if someone through all those years had reported him, a little 4 year old child would have been saved from his clutches.
As I am writing this I realize the same questions apply to another situation. The Watchtower Society and any Jehovah’s Witness that knows about a sexual predator should be held legally responsible if they hide the abuse and protect the abuser from the law. Through their inactions they are responsible when the abuser strikes again.
So, yes I am angry at my mother for not protected the children who live or visit her home. I am also angry at meddling elders who encouraged and may even have warned her to be silent about the abuses. And I am angry at an organization that claims to love and protect children but in reality does nothing and protects the abusers.