Failed Marriages..."Born ins"

by xelder 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  St George of England

  Both of us born ins and married for well over 40 years now.

  I think we were just lucky that we hit it off so well, no magic formula, nothing to do with being a JW.

  I have non-JW friends married the same length of time but many JW's I know have split up even though neither partner has left the 'truth'. In some cases they are still in the same congregation. I often wonder what these couples think will happen after 'A' when they have to get back together forever. (Assuming they still believe this tosh)

  George
• 

  Sulla

  Well, there is a sense in which the focus on religious compatibility is a good idea. Especially for JWs, religious differences create significant stress in a marriage. My experience was that marriages between families with significant history in the JWs stayed together with pretty high probability. There are lots of reasons why these sorts of marriages are more durable than average, even measured against other JW marriages.
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  Phizzy

  Such ones, where it is a marriage between two JW clans, have more to lose, probably ,on both sides, all of their close and even close-ish relatives are in, and of course all of their mutual "friends".

  It takes tremendous strength of character to get out of that situation, but the marriage can still, in reality be a failure, with neither partner happy.

  I was thinking of another statistic that I am aware of, and that is a number who left or were DF'd many years ago and married a non-witness, many of these are still together and seem happy. You don't hear about those when you are in the Borg.
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  Lore

  The fact that they're not divorced doesn't neccesarily disqualify it from being a 'failed marriage'.
• 

  Magwitch

  I wanted someone super uber spiritual. We were both regular pioneers and he was an elder. I was a born-in, (as were my parents and 4 grandparents). My husband was only baptized for about 6 years (yes, a babe). He had been a big time cocaine dealer in the late 70's, and when he became a JW, he was an over-the-top witness. Absolutely no balance at all. We were either in service, at a meeting, or preparing for service or for the meeting.

  He was also a total male chauvinist. I was not allowed out of his sight, unless he was in an elder's meeting, then he had to concede. We had nothing in common except the religion and after a short time of living like an Afghan woman, I began to question things.

  I stuck it out 20 years. One day I just said no more and walked away from the marriage, the religion, my town, my home and all the acquaintances I knew - wisest decision of my life so far.
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  james_woods

  In my experience, there are two basic problems with lifelong witnesses who marry other lifelong witnesses:

  First, because there is a very limited number of people to choose from, many of these marriages were never really compatible in the first place.

  Second, because the Witnesses have such bizarre and strict rules about dating, these incompatible people usually do not even KNOW that they are basically incompatible.

  And, because of the witness general hatred of divorce - many of these marriages turn into a decades long hell on earth.
• 

  dgp

  Bookmarked.
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  itscrap&theyknowit!

  @MAGWITCH - Wow! That was extreme! But, I feel you all the way! Wished I could've done that, too.

  @JAMES WOODS - Too, true! Bizarre and strict, incompatible and WILL turn to hell on earth.

  It's sad for a bunch of these young people to have these extravagant weddings, thinking they'll be married for less than 2-5 years before the "problems" start to kick in.....the end of this system of things will not yet have ended!!!! That's the "mask" we are given. You and your mate are not prepared, at all, for this life!