Choices you have to make after you learn the "truth"

by stuckinamovement 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • stuckinamovement
    stuckinamovement

    Choices

    By my nature I am not a negative person. I have always been one to look at the bright side of a bad situation or express optimism for the future. Throughout my whole life I have shown love for what is right and hated people and organizations who are hypocrites. I have always tried to do what I think is right and now I have the responsibility of teaching my kids to do the same.

    Over the past two years I have become critical and negative towards an organization that professes to be perfect and directed by God. I feel that my anger is directed not at the people within the organization but at the actual doctrines,structure and policies of the organization. The same organization that taught me to speak out against unrighteousness and hypocrisy has by its own policies, directives, and threats, forced me to become a concealer of its own unrighteousness and hypocrisy. The ironic part of the situation is that even though I am aware of the corruption and believe that the organization is not directed by God, I must pretend and outwardly profess that it is clean, pure, true and spirit directed.

    Choice 1 -

    Remain a Witness and ignore what I know about the Society. For the rest of my life pretend to believe that God speaks to the Governing Body and that I agree with all of the organizations teachings even as they change. Even though I feel strongly that the organization is corrupt and should be destroyed, ignore this and teach my children that the corrupted organization is actually the only means to salvation for mankind. Pretend to believe that 1914 is correct, and teach my kids that the only way to life is to attach ourselves loyally to the Governing Body. Go out in the ministry regularly and try to convince people to come into an organization that I feel is not directed by God. Even though this is hypocritical, this is what is necessary to keep appearances up.

    By being hypocritical, ignoring logic and reason I will be able to keep my reputation, my friends and my family. I will have peace of sorts within my household. The key is to throw out my personal integrity, and disconnect my brain.

    Choice 2-

    Leave Quietly. Phase out my activity, without any explanation to the elders. When asked; refuse to go into specifics. Refuse to teach wrong doctrine to my children. Teach them to stand up for what is right despite the consequences. Lose my friends and family because I no longer support the corrupted organization. Have the ones that I love obediently shun me at the orders from the organization. Have deep pain inside at this loss. Gain a measure of joy because of holding to my personal integrity.

    If my wife stays with the organization, become prepared for my kids to be taught by the organization that I don’t love Jehovah and will die at Armageddon. Look at my children’s heart break as they are told that their friends can’t come over anymore because their daddy doesn’t love Jehovah.

    Knowing the truth about the Watchtower Society has put me in the uncomfortable position of either losing my friends and family or losing my integrity. To keep quiet about what I know is wrong within the organization is to silence my mind and heart, and pretend to believe something that I feel is fundamentally wrong.

    So, what choice is better? Should I live my life as a hypocritical, tortured pretender, or stand up for what is right and lose my reputation, friends and family?

    These are the tough choices that many of us faders are having to make. No matter what your situation is in regards to this religion, it sucks. If you are active, you are mislead and duped. If you are fading you are tortured. If you have been disfellowshipped you are no doubt lonely and hurt and angry. This religion brings you nothing but pain and heartache.

    SIAM

    SIAM

  • Evidently Apostate
    Evidently Apostate

    it sounds like your concience will not let you teach your children something you find morally offensive. I love how the org always pressures us to never trust the heart, wonder why?

  • just Ron
    just Ron

    You are the only one that can make that decision. Sorry I can't be of more help. I stuffed it down until I couldn't any longer. Fortunately I got out with my family intact when my wife and I got on the same page at the same time. If we hadn't been on the same page, I could still be stuck like you. I can't even imagine the pain that the ones that have been born in go through.

  • lostinthought
    lostinthought

    Wow,your reasoning in chioce 1 is exactly how I feel. I think in the past any doubt about the "truth" I had I just pushed out of my mind. Now that I'm older, I'm begining to realize some of what the purpose of life may be is to have children and raise them the best as you can. I don't have any yet but I know that if I ever do I can teach them JW doctrine. Also I feel gulty going out in service, like some sort of hypocrate because I don't belive what I'm teaching...makeing the chioce on what to do is hard so I wish you the best.

  • Ding
    Ding

    Where is your wife in all this right now? Does she know how you feel? Does she see things the way you do or is she sold on the WTS? Will playing along awhile longer make it more likely that she will reach the point you have?

    How old are your children? Old enough to have questions of their own about the organization?

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    Both are bad choices.

    I think you have hoped that they would restructure the organization. That would be choice three. I believe anything is possible. When I was a Jehovah's Witness I was actually fortunate to be married to an unbeliever who insisted that I do not raise the children to be Jehovah's Witnesses. It was good for me because there were many doctrines that I did not understand, so I could not teach them. I taught them only what I believed to be true. It is working good so far. But I was on my own. I do not know how to make a choice for some one else. It is a difficult problem. I believe this about the Lord;

    The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

  • Tater-T
  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I left quietly and still maintained contact with my family. It has been strained of course, but I think I would have killed myself if I'd stayed in.

    As far as your kids are concerned, pull the headship rank and use it to teach your kids the real truth about life. That there is no Armageddon and a big Sky Daddy isn't gonna kill you nor them for not being a member of a small Christian sect.

    It's a tough decision, and I wish you well.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    You need to hold to your integrity, otherwise the negativity will prevent you being a good role model to your children. Provided your children are young, as long as you are loving to the children and teach them critical thinking skills so as to counteract Watchtower information they will be fine with you taking choice 2. It is the relationship with your wife that may turn out to be more of an issue.

  • baltar447
    baltar447

    The best option would be if you could get your immediate family out. Have you considered coming up with a plan to plant seeds of doubt in your wife? There are a few here that have managed to pull that off using family worshit night. I got lucky, my wife's siblings all left right before we did and it clicked with her that something was wrong and we ended up leaving together. Others have not been so fortunate and I really feel for anyone in this situation. Keep your head up.

    Oh, and you speaking of integrity made me think of the song Walking in Integrity. Funny how that I personally feel that anyone holding to TRUTH MUST eventually consider the GB and the corporation that is the JWs to be wicked men of lies. Victims of victims they might be, but the song curiously applies.

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