i am a regular pioneer in my cong reading crisis of conscience.here goes...

by MsGrowingGirl20 206 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  snare&racket

  Ms Growing girl, this is the order of my 'enlightenment'....

  Read the bible (for bethel) (1 year) .. realised the JW's may not be gods people, realised I had LOTS of questions and that god wasnt very nice.

  Researched the bilble (3 years).. realised it is not from a god

  Read the Kouran( 6 months) ... it's not from a god

  Was studying for medicine and began reading biology (4years+).... realised there may be no god

  Read chemistry (2years)

  Read physics( 4 years + )

  Read biology again

  Questioned, researched..... (from day one that I felt allowed to)

  Realised there was no god..... and now it all made sense...... (to me).

  snare x
• 

  MsGrowingGirl20

  ohmygosh.....i was asked to handle a demonstration at the meeting and i don't know if i should....i am soooo unsure about everything.....gosh!!
• 

  baltar447

  It's just a demo, you'll be fine. Take your time, take a breath, you will be ok. If you aren't up to it at the moment, feign illness.
• 

  Witness My Fury

  "Illness" could well be your best friend right about now. LOL
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Welcome to the forum, MGG20.

  Nothing about this portion of your journey is easy - universal answers to the deep questions you are discovering don't exist. If there is one thing you will find [and you will find it easier to accept later, trust me], is that there are as many viewpoints and shades thereof, as there are those who have made a solid examination of the issues/facts under consideration, as they regard Jehovah's Witnesses.

  At first you will find most of it unbelievable - or at least I did. Research it - check your premises - accept that which is credible and logical and supported by facts.

  Eight years ago I began to read Crisis of Conscience. My heart hurt - my mind rebelled - my thoughts raced. It takes a while. Three months later I was out for good [not saying you should be - that is your choice] - three years later I Disassociated - since then there have been greater changes than those to my viewpoint - though at this point you probably cannot handle them.

  Read - read - read! Question - question - question! Take some time - keep your thoughts to yourself for now [just a suggestion]. Observe.

  This journey will be the most momentous of your life. It has just begun.

  Jeff
• 

  snare&racket

  I remember when I hd to stop saying yes to talks, then the ministry. Difficult times, but just be strong.

  So have you been aceped for Uni MsGG20?

  This has all happened very quickly. What was your most shocking read in CoC ?
• 

  flipper

  MS. GROWING GIRL- Lots of good replies here to give you some things to consider. I would also recommend if I may to read Steve Hassan's 2 books " Combatting Cult Mind Control " & " Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves " . Like many here I was born-in and raised a Jehovah's Witness. I exited finally in 2003 at age 44. Injustices and inconsistent teachings and policies caused me to leave. I have discovered that what the WT society told us that " people become evil or bad if they leave the WT organization " is just not true. We were told that because the WT society wanted to control or manipulate our view of people in the outside world outside the organization.

  There are lots of really good people outside the organization, many of whom you are meeting right here on this website. I have found that spirituality comes from within, as does gaining our freedom to think for ourselves and trust our instincts and intuition - which is a good thing. Believe me Growing Girl- we are not as sinful or imperfect as we were led to believe. We don't have near the blemishes that we once were taught. So I encourage you to keep reading, do outside research and continue to explore and learn. You will be alright. It's hard to admit that we were lied to or dishonestly controlled by a high control organization- but in time you will learn to trust your OWN mind and judgment on life. Just be patient. Remember, we are here for you if you want to talk or vent, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  steve2

  To investigate your doubts requires courage and a certain amount of belief in your ability to eventually "make sense" of your own situation - let alone others. Unlike the witnesses'organization or indeed any tightly organized group, you won't find uniformity of beliefs here. In fact, you'd have a right to feel suspicious if you did find unformity. So, you may well come across some posts that appear to be "bitter" - if you do, please try not to conclude that all posters are bitter. Besides, it may not exactly be "bitterness" that you think you see, but something else a bit more complex: Some people here have suffered significant losses and what may appear to be bitterness may in fact be a state of grieving and disillusionment over the way they organization treated them.

  Facing up to doubts, investigating your valid questions and holding off jumping to conclusions does not come easy to any of us who were raised in the religion.

  Human history shows that people who have been bothered by their doubts about their beliefs have had to possess a lot of personal courage and determination.
• 

  leavingwt

  MsGrowingGirl: There is no urgency about the matter, except what urgency you assign to it. Just (1) keep reading and (2) do not reveal your true feelings to any JWs. At some point in the future, you may decide that exiting the organization is the right decision. At that time, you can analyze which route is best. There are several different ways to do it, each with unique consequences.

  Make no mistake, however, your 'friends' and family do NOT want to know about the new things you've learned. They will choose Jehovah, over you, any day of the week. Even if what you tell them is 100% true and supported by facts, they will not pay you any attention. Further, they will rat you out and seek to do you harm.
• 

  tornapart

  Steve2... I'm glad you said what you did. About bitterness could be a state of grieving. I can understand that... I've felt those feelings of grief (I've only discovered these things myself in the last couple of months) and come here to try and find some help and support but only found derision and ridicule because I still believe in God. That hurts too. But it helps to realise that others are dealing with their grief in a different way. Thanks for your comment.