Can someone please help me. I need to speak to anyone who is a mature Christian. Someone who has maintained their Faith in Jehovah and in Christ Jesus. I have felt that many things I have been taught are inconsistent for some time. At 37 years of age I have been finally making efforts to really read Gods word. In fact, the only thing I read is Gods word. I am not a Ministerial Servant and I have been told by a new Elder in my congregation that I must put in 10 hrs every month for a year ( not average time ) before being considered. He does not feel this is scriptural, time will tell if any changes are made. I am not on this site because I am a proud, arrogant person. The MS thing was just a catalyst for me since there are people that I truly care about that are being hurt by this unscriptural " guideline ". I love my creator and am in tears at this writing. I feel that I am simply using my God given power of reason, and this is what has allowed me for some time to see many inconsistencies. I am by no means without personal faults, many stemming from my childhood, so please do not view this writing as complaining about not being appointed. The truth is that this issue has caused so much anxiety for me that I have often reverted back to behaviors that have kept me from being appointed and I have often contemplated suicide but have not diclosed this to anyone. This issue is also an underlying issue in causing stress between my wife and I. She does not understand why time after time I am not used as a Servant, although I am told that I am a valuable member in the congregation, and I am used to help out extensively.
I have also felt for some time that I am of the Annointed. I do not pretend to have all the answers regarding who will be on the earth after the War of the Great Day of God the Almighty. I do feel strongly that ONLY JEHOVAH and JESUS have the right to judge anyone. I dont think I ever believed half of what I heard, and I am beginning to feel grateful that I did " keep up " with the SOCIETIES publications. I am at an impass, afraid to speak to YOU, afraid to speak to my wife, my mother, my friends, my sister, my disfellowshipped brother and my Father who has recently been studying. I would just like to hear from someone who loves Jehovah and Jesus and know what i am experiencing. I am currently reading " In Search of Christian Freedom ". I wish I had someone like Brother Franz to talk to.
Your Brother