First up is Moe Howard. The bully, the boss, the enforcer. Usually the PO of the congregation. He barks out the orders and the other elders jump into action. "Disfellowship that sinner or else I'll moider ya'!"
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Next, there's Larry Fine. He's the right hand of the PO. He's loyal to the PO and the ORG right to the end! Sure, sometimes he disagrees with Moe, but in the end, he always ends up solving all problems according to Moe's standards. Sadly, Larry always seems to obtain problems that cause him to pull out his hair (or, allowing Moe to pull it out for him). Problems such as judging "apostates".
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Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! Ah, next is Curly Howard. He's that one elder that everyone seems to love. The Publishers "soytenly" LOVE to see him give talks. They LOVE to hear him comment. They LOVE to see him at gatherings. And they LOVE to tell him all of their problems because he's not quick to judge them. Many times, he keeps the problems between himself and the Publisher. This elder is so fun to be around and can be the life of the party. He's the one who EVERY Publisher wonders: How on earth was he ever appointed as an elder???
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That brings us to Shemp Howard. He's the elder that wants to be Mr. Cool. He wants to be like the PO (Moe) but can never attain that goal. So, he at least tries to look the part of the PO. He dresses slightly better. His hair is neatly combed. His smile melts all the sisters hearts like hot wax. But when he gets together with the elders for a beat-down...er...I mean an elder's meeting, he comes out looking like another word that begins with "SH". After these meetings, his hair is unkempt, his clothes are tattered, and you begin to notice the large bags under his eyes. This poor elder always takes the heat from the PO. Sadly, he still always seeks the PO's approval. It builds up his low self-esteem.
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Let's not leave out Joe Besser. He's the wimpiest of the entire elder body. Sure, he'll disagree with some of the decisions of the elders. He also admits that he hates having to disfellowship people. He often begs the other elders when they decide to disfellowship, "Not so harrrrd!". But, in the end, he always caves in to their demands. He's the ultimate "whipping boy".
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Finally, here are some elder activities secretly filmed by some of you evil "apostates"...
"That's right, Timmy! Write down every detail of your 'choking the chicken' confession!"
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Street Work- Witnessing To A Cop. Coming to a yearbook near you.
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Caught cooking for the CO's visit
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Forcing a husband to confess to his wife that he cheated on her. The husband actually is innocent, it's just that Elder Curly wants the man's wife for himself.
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They're SPYING on YOU!
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Now they're chasing Joe Publisher because in their eyes he has a beautiful woman who's NOT his wife in the car with him. Turns out that the "woman" was actually his new Afghan dog.
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Here they are hiding in the bedroom of Jack and Jane Sleaze to see if any "oral" activities are occurring. If so, they are soooooo busted!
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"So, tell us again how you did her? We need to know so we can judge you with ALL of the facts!"
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Finally, having their own Memorial celebration AFTER the Memorial celebration. Oh, and they're not of the annointed.