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by exwhyzee 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    We hooked up with a family member who is married and in Bethel 15+ years. It's almost too exhausting to go into the details here so I'll condense everything into a few main areas that were talked about over a few days. Bottom line, my wife and I finally let them know that we are not JW's anymore and so far it looks like they aren't going to shun us. We had a really nice time with them and their Witness friends who assumed we were JW's too and couldn't have been nicer. Our Bethelite family members had no idea what we had been through at the hands of he Elders that was the final shove out of the organization and were in agreement that things were handled badly. They expressed concern about our welfare due to the end being so close and urged us not to let imperfect people cause us to punish Jehovan. Their comments are in bold below, followed by our responses.

    The end is so close : We said. they have been saying that since the turn of the century and the dates they've laid out down through the decades have been 100% incorrecet including this crazy new "Generation" teaching. None of us was even supposed to graduate high school and here we are middle aged. I said, Millions Now Living Will Never Die turned into Millions that were living are now dead. How was this not a false prophesy? I asked them to explain the new light and they looked very sheepish while doing so. I truly beleive they aren't buying this new explaination.

    "Jehovah has always had an orgainzation" Show me in the Bible where Jesus followers owned a multi million dollar printing complex and were required to go around using publications to explain God's word. (They had nothing to say to this.) How can this be his organization when they keep getting things wrong. Would a loving God purposly mislead them for decades....letting them spend billions of hours spreading Billions of pieces of literature through out the earth with misinformation in them?

    "It really hurts us to have you think we are wasting our lives by being at Bethel."We don't think badly of your choice to be at Bethel if that's what you want to do. We would never turn our backs on you, but why is it that JW's have the power to shun us because we have finally said out loud that we don't agree with much of their doctrine and practices anymore? You are feeling are hurt by what we've said here but you must now have an idea of how badly it makes people of other religions feel when they get leaflets and publications left at their door that says that the religion they hold dear is hated by God and they are soon to be destroyed for being a part of it.

    JWe are working 40 hours a week each and have pensions and IRA's lined up and still we aren't sure it will be enough to live on when we get old. We are worried that unless you stay at Bethel forever, you will be like so many of the elderly Circuit overseers and Pioneers we've known who are old and living at the poverty level . Their comment was "Jehovah will provide" (I mouthed this along with them as they were saying it.)

    "Our publications don't say Jehovah is only going to save JW's" Really?? You must be reading different literature than we are. In almost every publication they call other religions" Babylon the Great", Arent JW's urged to keep busy warning people to get out of her before armegeddon arrives and finds them sharing in her sins. They say if they don't heed this warning and accept "THE TRUTH" they have blown their chance at everlasting life. How can that not mean that they believe that. How could anyone arrive at any other conclusion than JW's think they are the only religion approved by God and will be the only ones spared.

    "At least they change when they realize they are wrong" They had no choice....the dates came and went and somehow no matter what they say, God always agrees with them! Funny how he changes his mind at the same time they do. When other religions have incorrect teachings JW's call it false religion. But when they discover their own teachings are incorrect, they call it a mistake and almost indicate that God's people weren't ready for the full truth but now it is being revealed at the proper time.

    Where else would we ever meet such wonderful people (indicating their friends) We agreed that leaving the organization was social suicide for us. We have no friends now. But if it's a social club, lets call it what it is....there are so many that are ready to shun thier families or let them die but they don't have a true grasp on why they believe what they do. If you really press them on the more indepth topics, they don't really understand them. They simply have been convinced that everything they hear from the Society is true and don't really think about it much furthur. They are locked in by of the Social and Family complexities that are a huge part of who they are. Not necessarily that it is the only absolute truth in the world.

    Anyway we discussed so much and it's too exhausting to hash it over again here all at once. Bottom line, it all ended well....they are lovely people and they, for once in thier JW lives, weren't the only ones equipped to present their point of view.

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    Sorry guys , I wasn't able to put in a title or correct my typos and grammer before I was locked out of my post.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Hmmmm! If I didn't know better I would have said "Cult"!

    Oh yeah; it is!

  • blondie
    blondie

    Thanks xwhyzee.

    Unless it happens to them directly, and they suffer the cruelty, people like this just chalk it up to a FEW imperfect people, not realizing that this cruel treatment called love, is found in every congregation.

    I found when I was in an area with many Bethelites, 25 in my congregation, that many suffered cruelties in bethel. It is like abused wives, many stay because they have no support outside the organization and think they will find none.

    This type of treatment is why I stopped going, not because of doctrine.

    Love, Blondie

  • zengalileo
    zengalileo

    They sound pretty chill about the whole thing. You are lucky to have JW friends that take it all so casually.

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    Yes Blondie,

    The Sister in my post got tearful when we related what it was that drove us out finally. She started to say something about this being a problem in Bethel..."i know a lot of....you're not the only.....I've been"..... but she kept stopping herself and restarting herself again a few times later in the conversation but never let herself get to the point of being sepcific. I got the sense that she had something happen to her or that something was currently going on. She simply concluded by looking off into space and saying we weren't the only ones who feel this way.

    For us, we could have worked around a lot of the doctrine issues and sort of come to our own conclusion about them and found a way to hang in there somehow. But once you have something happen to you or your family, a line is drawn in the sand that forever changes how you see everything. Despite the difficuties you face upon leaving, it's as if there really isn't any other option.

    P.S. Blondie....thanks for taking the time to comment. For some reason this post was difficult for me...kind of draining and when there were no comments after 43 views I was thinking my time here on this site might be coming to an end....nothing of intrest to offer anyone kinds of thoughts running through my mind (snif). Having you say "thanks" and then actually making a comment on my post, meat a lot to me.

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    Yes Zeng.....I'm thinking the same thing. It makes me think that maybe something similar may be going on with them although I wouldn't wish such a big life changing upheaval on anyone....especially this teriffic couple. We have 4 other family members who were either Bethelites and or Reg Pioneers who are either completly out or are suddenly making some moves toward the exit door for some reason.

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    Cantleave: We actually got to discuss the meaning of the term Cult and the similar tactics they use to recruit members. These two were in their early 20's when they entered Bethel and I could tell they knew nothing about such things outside what they read in the WT.

  • wobble
    wobble

    They know nothing about anything apart from what they have read in the WT.

    Sad, the real "them" seems to be O.K, but the "Cult" them won't let them BE real.

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee
    Wobble: They know nothing about anything apart from what they have read in the WT.

    The Sister told me that she didn't feel as if she was brainwashed as a child because she was 11 when her parents became Witnesses and she studied it herself thouroughly. I said Hopefully you "studied" the Bible and not just the Watchtower literature and that outside information was accessable so as to make a real unbiased comparrison because I sure wasn't able to at that age...nor did I feel free to as an adult.

    She just looked away and I didn't want to press her on it or upset her.

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