Parenting - The JW Way

by What Now? 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    One year ago today, I was 40 weeks pregnant and my husband and I were sitting at home, watching a movie. My water broke at 10:30 p.m. and by 2:30 the next afternoon our son was born, exactly on his due date.

    Tomorrow, we are celebrating his birthday. We are going to go out for breakfast and then go and pick out a gift for him. We are going to pick up cupcakes from our favorite bakery and let him have his first taste of sugar! It will be a simple, special day for our family. Nothing could ever convince me that it is wrong to celebrate my child’s life and especially the day that he was born.

    That the Watchtower Society convinces parents that it is wrong to do so is so sad to me. It gets me thinking about other things I would be doing or not doing if I was a devout JW at heart.

    I would stick my child in an uncomfortable carseat for hours while I went out in service. Even if he begged to stay home, we would be out in service every Saturday morning, no question. Our lives would revolve around the ministry.

    I would smack him, pinch his arm and flick his ear if he didn’t sit absolutely still and quiet for 2 hours during the meeting. In fact, I would make him sit at home in a chair for 2 hours to practice being quiet.

    I would make him a target for bullies by having him stand outside for the national anthem, sit in another room during holiday assemblies and not accept a piece of cake when the rest of his class is celebrating a birthday.

    I wouldn’t let him express his individuality through the way he chooses to dress or cut his hair. After all, we must show by our appearance that we are "separate from the world".

    If he got involved in some sort of “wrongdoing”, I would report him to the elders and make him go through the humiliating judicial committee process, even letting them announce that he has been “publicly reproved” in front of the entire congregation.

    Even he was passionate about sports, art, drama – I wouldn’t allow him to participate in any type of extra-curricular clubs or teams, because "bad associations spoil useful habits".

    I would discourage him from pursuing his dreams, whatever they are. I would expect him to put them on hold until the new system, and instead spend the best years of his life regular pioneering, while working a job that he hates to support himself.

    And finally, if he didn’t choose this religion, I would turn my back on him. Treat him as if he was dead. Remove him from my will. Never meet my future daughter in law or grandchildren.

    I can’t imagine raising my child in this way. It’s heartbreaking what the Watchtower Society does to families, to childhoods.

    Granted, there are bad parents out there. Parents that neglect and physically or sexually abuse their children and worse. But I strongly believe that this is another kind of abuse, another form of bad parenting.

    What are your thoughts?

  • scooterspank
    scooterspank

    Your son is very lucky.

  • Iamallcool
    Iamallcool

    (bookmarked)

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    This is sadly, so very true.

    What kind of cupcakes do you think you will get?! That is the most important event of the day!!

  • skywho
  • curiouscynic
    curiouscynic

    It is so natural to celebrate the passing of another year of a child's life that even most witnesses I know acknowledge birthdays to some degree. My parents are extremely devout JWs, and my mom used to call me every year to say, "Do you know what I was doing X number of years ago today?" Never "Happy Birthday" but the point was taken.

  • scooterspank
    scooterspank

    Ahhhh yes. The I'm not saying happy birthday, happy birthday dance. They will talk in circles about the day you were born, bleh bleh bleh, but they can't just spit it out. Happy Birthday. That being said, my father who has faded for years actually uttered those words to me for the first time in my life this year. And my sister who has also faded gave me my first birthday card from a family member ever and birthday presents too. I'm a very lucky girl.

  • alias
    alias

    We are going to pick up cupcakes from our favorite bakery and let him have his first taste of sugar! It will be a simple, special day for our family. Nothing could ever convince me that it is wrong to celebrate my child’s life and especially the day that he was born.

    Yay! Sounds like great fun!

    (happy birthday, baby what now? )

    alias

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    That opening post was beautifully said. It would make a great "Hallmark" card for ex-JW parents.

    Edited to add: Happy First Birthday.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    The gift of life was so precious that the father sent the son to redeem it

    celebrate that gift, rejoice, thank the heavenly father and be glad

    think about it, would the devil want you to celebrate somthin' he tried to

    get you to lose in the first place???

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