Hello All! I haven't posted on here much recently but I thought out of everything that has happened since my husband and I together left the JW's, this was tame enough and not as drama-laden enough to share...
I have been married and out of the house for only about a year and a half, and since then, I have not been attending meetings after learning the truth about the "Truth". Of course, I have caught flack for it but my family is on this new passive-aggressive kick; trying to guilt me about leaving without actually outwardly saying anything.
Today, my sister (the new young regular pioneer) invited me (the apostate) over to my mother's house to hang out and maybe watch a movie. I was responsible for picking the movie. I went to a Redbox and tried to find a mild comedy and I figured it couldnt be too hard to find something witness-friendly. There was all but one movie in the genre not rated R. As it turned out, the movie turned out to be a play, and not even a funny one. So we stopped watching it, and wouldnt you know it, our very own "Princess Ileana of Romania" of my old hall showed up. There is always one in the hall. A beautiful girl that hasn't married, travels to "where the need is great" and learns foreign languages to help recruit more members. As if my sister's rather clumsy tip-toeing around the subject of religion was not enough, here comes another regular pio-sneer who once was my friend and they start talking about the Watchtower articles and field service making me very uncomfortable. its like everyone in my family went uber-dub after the I, the bad seed, as my narcissistic mother always called me, left home. It makes me really sad for them. When I try to reason that some people are just so afraid of independence and free thinking they actually need religion to function, it sometimes makes me feel better but when I think more in depth about it, it makes me even more sad people could be that closed-minded, weak in character, and blind to the world. If my they only knew about all the things I have recently found out about the cult, and about the web of lies that hold it together, I believe they would either be so disillusioned with the whole thing that it would snap them out in a really violent way which would probably cause more harm than good, or on the flip of that coin they will become even more unhealthily obsessed with "The Lie" and defeind it by saying it's all apostate lies nad Satan is out to get everyone who beleives the truth. I was so uncomfortable there and I had to fight the urge to just roll my eyes and gag at EVERY turn. It feels as if they talk about religion more than they did when I lived there. I had to cut my visit short and just get out of there! It was that upsetting to see such a pathetic scene. It's so weird to think that eventhough I always felt in my heart that there was something fishy... well maybe that's not the right word... something shady going on in the JWs, this scene used to be normal to me; something that I accepted as commonplace.
My question to you guys is, does it only feel like all the dubs around you go Uber-Dub after someone close to them leaves or is it just that I perceive it as such because I am so sensitive to the lies that I grew up hearing so I notice it more? Has anyone experienced something like this? How do you guys react? I feel badly about just walking away but it was just too much to bear at the time.