"Extreme physical abuse" only grounds for separation, NOT divorce.

by cedars 45 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • truthseeker1969
    truthseeker1969

    Hmmmm does it included beating the crap out of the husbands credit card cos my wife has been doing it for years!

    I discussed this with my wife and she made it clear that if I ever raised and eyebrow to her she would ensure I never would be able to pro-create again!

    Abuse is abuse, no one should be able to tell you who you should stay with and who you should leave.

    Are they willing to accept the death of someone who followed the guidelines and endured mental and emotional abuse? I bet not, it would be the old "theocractic warfare" 'our guidance is optional" mantra.

    No woman or man deserves to be beaten and told to endure it period.

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    Yes Weana, I understand the difference between secular and scriptural divorce/seperation. The effect I've described is the same if you are serious about your faith. A wife who wants to leave a husband who beats her can forget about re-marrying and holding on to her faith, which (assuming she's been brought up in the religion) to her mind is the only means of salvation and sole domain for any meaningful relationship with her family members. She must therefore live as a spinster for the rest of her days and forget any notion of having a relationship that is both loving AND intimate with any other man if she takes her faith seriously and/or wants to maintain contact with any indoctrinated children that the abusive relationship may have yielded.

    This is exactly true, sadly.

    -Sab

  • blondie
    blondie

    *** w00 11/1 p. 5 Is Bible Morality the Best? ***Of course, there are circumstances—such as adultery or physical abuse—when a Christian may appropriately consider separation or divorce. (Matthew 5:32; 19:9)

    *** w83 3/15 pp. 28-29 Honor Godly Marriage! ***However, ‘departing’ does not of itself provide Scriptural grounds for divorce and remarriage; still, a legal divorce or a legal separation may provide a measure of protection from further abuse.

    Here is a related point regarding remarriage:

    *** w97 1/1 p. 28 Let Us Abhor What Is Wicked ***What of a man who unlovingly divorces his wife in order to marry another woman? Perhaps he will eventually repent and be reinstated in the congregation. Over the years he may make progress and “press on to maturity.” (Hebrews 6:1) But as long as his first wife lives without a mate, he will not qualify to serve in a responsible position in the congregation. He is not “a husband of one wife” because he had no Scriptural right to divorce his first wife.—1 Timothy 3:2, 12.

  • Qcmbr
    Qcmbr

    Well if you can't escape the 'marriage covenant' with God, no matter how much he beats you why would your earthly partner be any different.

  • AdaMakawee
    AdaMakawee

    Yea this is exactly what the elders told me, I could leave him but never remarry again. After I did leave him and divorce, my parents drove 1500 miles to chastise me (my dad and elder). My dad always maintained it was something I did that caused him to be abusive. But then, my dad was also an abuser so I guess I could hardly expect a reasoned answer from him.

  • hamsterbait
    hamsterbait

    The apostle Paul says that if the wife does depart from her husband she should remain single.

    If you believe this is instruction from God then he is the unloving merciless one. If not, why bother worrying about the take on it by any religious group, not just the Dubs. The Catholic Church teaches exactly the same, but goes one step further and says NO DIVORCE ALLOWED.

    If you join a club, you agree to follow its rules and guidelines. If you dont like this, then go form your own club.

    The WT view on spouse abuse is outdated.

    HB

  • shepherd
    shepherd

    "I was shocked to find a Question From Readers in the w75 5/1 p286-288 which basically said that a battered wife would not be scripturally free to divorce her husband."

    Don't beat up the JW's over this, blame the Bible writers that made up this rule in the first place. The JW religion does allow a divorce (legally) in certain circumstances but the marriage remains valid in God's eyes until one partner is either unfaithful or dies (proof of this is provided above by other posters).

    If you really were an elder I am surprised at your ignorance. This is basic stuff.

    As an athiest I have no interest in the what the Bible says, but I accept that you cannot blame the JW religion for following biblical rules in this particular case.

  • Lore
    Lore

    Why is this suprising?

    Matthew 19:9: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.

    I mean yeah it's a stupid and outdated rule. . . but it's Jesus's dumb idea not the witnesses.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    This is a bit embarassing. My mom and her sister married best friends at Bethel. In contrast to my father, my uncle was meek, nice, and decent. She knew not to go to the KH crowd about my father but there was a hope that a very close male friend, both man is the alpha and omega types, could discuss my father's scapegoating of me. It revealed telling things outside the immediate family but I trusted my uncle. My father might fume and curse but he respect my uncle.

    My father was very physically abusive. Before I was born, my mother pressed criminal charges against him. The judge warned my mom that my father was not the least bit embarassed and therefore very dangerous. The judge told her to disappear and never tell him her whereabouts. My gm followed around that he committed no adultery so tough luck. To my utter shock, my former Bethelite uncle took my side in a non threatening manner. My father exploded.

    My father had heart disease. He could no longer work. My mom provided all the funds. She had recently slept in another room to get sleep so she could work in a factory. It was the first thing my father raised with my uncle. The shame was keen. My aunt asked if my uncle were there not a scripture, Pauline I believe, that couples could separate for a short while. She was right. I was shocked.

    My uncle was so ardent in his worship and viewpoints. He dismissed spare the rod very easily. I don't believe an elder would have done it. My father might have hurt an elder. The oopmh I received from hearing a JW state my father was wrong helped a lot. But this was not a JW procedure.

  • JRK
    JRK

    I was in an abusive relationship with my ex-wife, a JW nutcase woman. She even intentionally hit me with a car in a fit of rage, but the elders did nothing. Abuse is not grounds for divorce in the JW wacky world.

    JK

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