Special A$$embly Day Notes

by PrincessCynic 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • PrincessCynic
    PrincessCynic

    I wasted my Sunday yesterday attending the Special A$$embly Day.

    I thought some of you might like to see some of the notes I took to keep myself amused/awake.

    We had a Guest Speaker from the local Old People's Home Bethel. He seemed slightly senile.

    I have paraphrased most of what he said:

    The world is one big orgy. You may be thinking that worldly people seem pretty ok and you haven't noticed this at all. You're wrong. They are all bad. "ATHEISTS HAVE BEEN SPAWNED!" They all worship

  • PrincessCynic
    PrincessCynic

    ...Satan. David wasn't like the devil-worshipping worldly people. He proved this by killing someone with stones when he was just a teenager. God was pleased with this. Jehovah was pleased because David gave the credit for the murder to him. We should admire David's courage. 'Young Ones' should imitate him.

    *Joke about the intelligence of young JWs*

    *Weird experience from Awake*

    Don't research witchcraft for academic purposes.

    "It wasn't as bad when I was at school. There was no Harry Potter!"

    (Sorry, posted that first one too early by accident)

  • PrincessCynic
    PrincessCynic

    King David Part 2

    David lived as a caveman but wanted to become King and build a temple... something about marauding bands... Jah is pleased.

    Jehovah asked David to kill lots of people then said he wasn't pleased with his record as a Man of War. Jehovah may not want elders who have killed people either.

    Then he talks about embarrassing stuff that happened in the 1930s. Apparently brothers were asked to display flashing signs in their windows saying something about riches and enquire within (something about advertising a book. I wonder if anyone was burgled).

    "Brothers, don't wish you had a university education and nice houses. We have been saved from many sufferings."

    Talks about Armageddon in the past tense (has it already happened?!!)

    His last talk was about encouraging the weak. I have an entire page of notes listing the reasons he gave that JWs are depressed. Felt depressed at the end of it myself.

    I have plenty more gems if anyone's interested. But all in all it was a pretty dire assembly.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    You can edit your own posts for up to 1/2 hour after you first post. Click on the little Pencil & Balloon icon at the top, right of your post.

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    Wow! Excellent! You poor thing. Good spying. One of the reasons that I took some time to "get out" was I wanted to know what would happen. I can get more of that here than there. Thank you for sharing Princess!

  • straightshooter
    straightshooter

    Thanks for sharing the enlightening dribble that the WTS feeds their followers.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    that is down right crazzy stuff....

  • bohm
    bohm

    "ATHEISTS HAVE BEEN SPAWNED!"

    what does that even mean?

  • N.drew
    N.drew

    Ya, what does it mean?

  • Magwitch
    Magwitch

    Princess - Give us more!! Would love to hear why JW are depressed. They have so much to be happy about! Aren't they the happiest people on earth?

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