How long can one continue as an unbelieving JW?

by mankkeli 39 Replies latest jw experiences

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    As soon as I realized something was awry with the religion of my birth, I immediately withdrew from giving talks (I was a MS), moved to another congregation, stopped going door-to-door, and immersed myself into researching what I thought I believed. From there it didn't take long before I stopped going to meetings altogether, maybe a couple years.

    I personally don't see it as even remotely possible that someone can become aware of what the WT really is and continue believing. As soon as you are unplugged from the Matrix, you're compass turns to true north and the only lingering thought is how you could believe that bs for so long.

    Good topic. I have a lot of interest in hearing personal experiences here.

    FreeAtLast -- I read "from there it didn't take long....." and then......"a couple years". Seems like a contradiction at first. I guess because so many here seem to have made a clean break very quickly. Seems like very few are faders. Or maybe faders are just not as active participants on this board.

    However, if one has all their family and long time ties to the congregation or the whole JW arena, that is to say, the majority of friends, social contacts, maybe business contacts all IN, then I could see it being a fearful and slow process to cut the ties. I see it being a very slow, but progressive metamorphosis. Once you learn TTATT, I don't see how anyone could ever sincerely jump completely back "IN". Yes, a couple years might in fact be "not long" when you look at it from that perspective.

    At this point, I cannot imagine ever wanting to be back in the thick of it all -- elder; servant; pioneer; talks; etc etc. I've given up on thinking there might be some serious changes come down from "above". I know I've been lied to, cheated, decieved, etc etc.... Yet, I cannot imagine finding myself OUT totally and completely either. I already feel a huge vacuum from the alienation (I'm not sure if I'm the cause of the alientation or they are from viewing me as weak and a poor choice of association -- maybe some of both), and I imagine all that would become even greater. The real question here is: How long can one straddle the fence? How long until you blow your "cover" and slip up and say something glaringly "apostate" to the wrong person?

    DOC

  • moshe
    moshe
    Ive got a year and a half so far. Hows that for scientific...?

    Uh, inquiring minds want to know how that drool cup is holding up at the meetings, elderlite. Six months worth of meeting drivel was all I could take.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I don't see how a study could ever be done. The WTBTS will not give access to people who attend the KH. How would you convince people that the results would be confidential. They don't like college. Why would the WTBTS expose itself? I would think it depends on the individual and what is at stake. Losing family is very painful. Witnesses are so isolated they probably don't have a wide network of friends outside JWs.

  • PaintedToeNail
    PaintedToeNail

    They can go on as long a they personally need to, and their emotional stability holds. Their personal needs maybe because elderly family members are in, or a spouse, or all their kids. One cannot judge why they haven't 'bitten the bullet' yet and left. Very difficult either way.

    CJ

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    How long can one continue as an unbelieving JW?

    Thats purely up to the individual, I myself slowly faded away, within a year I was pretty much done.

    Wasn't baptized so that made it easier of course.

    Born into this religion, gave talks, went out in service .

    Analytical instincts took over which pulled me away.

    Been completely out for 30 years now as a happy content atheist.

    Unfortunately for some people its a long during fade which cumulates into years.

  • mauiboy
    mauiboy

    I was raised a dub from the age of 4 or 5. I became an M.S. at about 22 then an elder a few years later. My 1st doubts came to me at about 15, but what can one do at that age? For me : nothing. I found myself contemplating suicide off and on again for about 25 years.....keeping up the front as an E and serving as B.S. conductor, TMS overseer, doing hour talks (as they were back then), sitting on judicial committees,....the whole shebang. I finally moved away from the area and found a place where very few knew me. I refused to be appointed elder, and eventually quit turning in time slips, then going in service, then giving TMS talks, then step-by-step just faded away until I made the final break and told my wife "I'm done". My depressive episode stopped, I got off all anti-depressants (including lithium---harsh stuff--). When I crossed paths w/my shrink one day I told him the religion was gone and w/ it the depression; which by now had lasted over 40 years. I no longer think that 'if i die today, it'll be OK'. I no longer live on the edge of the swirling deep purple cosmos in my head and heart that is depression. Even tho it has taken nearly 4 years for my wife to find a way to accept this change --and it put us thru hell-- I have never thought of making an attempt to go back to the pit of the depths they call the Kingdom Hall.I have no friends now....lots of acquaintances; no social life......I have no idea how to behave around normal people;......I'm retired and spend time volunteering at an old folks home (where my dad is; he's 97).....and I'm quite content with the peace inside of me from day-to-day, even without those things I have lost.I can pray to Jehovah God with a clear, unhypocritical conscience. I pray to Jesus and confess my weaknesses and faults, and have a true appreciation for what his sacrfice means for me....not because I'm told what it means by someone else, but how my perception of it has become so much more accute, and my realization of how direly I need it. To anyone thinking of leaving I reccomend searching yourself for the answer to 'why?', then do what you must do---stay or leave, but never give up your relationship with Jehovah God and his son Jesus. Feel free to give up your relationship with Jehovahs Witnesses if your heart tells you to.

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    Great story Maui boy. :)

  • iamwhoiam
    iamwhoiam

    I was appointed MS and have been an unbelieving JW for a very long time before that. I only stay in for family. I don't recommend this course for anyone...it's highly depressing forcing yourself to keep doing something you know is not right; and it gets worse every year.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    As an Elder in good standing, you can get away with saying things to JWs that would have them running away chanting "Get behind me Satan!", if I said them.

    A lot of Dubs have a rose coloured view of bOrg doctrine. Most of the Dubs in my family don't truly understand the wackier doctrines. When I bring them up, they dismiss it as me being used by the Devil. If a Dub in good standing points them out, they have nowhere to run.

  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    It could take 2000 yrs, or some variations of it may exist. Look how long other religions have lasted. They are still ticking and going and going. Like the energizer bunnies.

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