by LKM 85 Replies latest jw friends
Welcome LKM . . .
There's some good advice here already.
I would only add that I hope this will be a temporary measure? Ultimately, the less you have to do with this religion the better. Even if you don't believe it . . . they have a way of turning your life to shit if you're round them all the time . . . for too long.
Just my feelings.
Okay, LKM, I see you have good insights and have spotted on the "evilness" of the Watchtower world, as to what it has done to your man. You are absolutely right, those people are brainwashed, absolutely controlled. Your man is very fortunate to have you to be by his side during this difficult time. Hopefully in time you can also help his son some day to gain freedom of mind and heart. I always feel for the kids the most.
Hopefully we can support you here as much as possible.
they are all disgruntled ex-Witnesses with axes to grind that have simply hijacked an innocent looking 'Witness' site. So yeah, you aren't going to find anything helpful or positive here . . . Teary Oberon
Good afternoon Teary . . .
Sizemik is happy you are here also . . . thanks for the nice description of me.
I will second what diamonddiiz mentioned about getting married first. His fam will have to respect the already established marriage, as will other witnesses. You're quite a woman for doing this for your love, and his son. Wish you all the best!
What a positive and helpful post from Teary O, who's obviously not miserable. Forget to take the anti-depressants this week? Most of us here are disgruntled; wonder why? Original poster LKM is fortunately sharp enough to see past the bullshit, so save it Teary, or I'll tell the elders you're on an apostate site.
Teary Oberon - haha wow. WRONG place to be asking questions about the Witnesses dear.
There are pretty much are no real Witnesses on this forum, even though it says "Jehovah's Witnesses" in the title -- they are all disgruntled ex-Witnesses with axes to grind that have simply hijacked an innocent looking 'Witness' site. So yeah, you aren't going to find anything helpful or positive here (unless you want to listen to these posters and end up destroying your relationship and making your life miserable).
Hi Teary Oberon, good evening! Where have you been hiding? It is always good to have an active, JW in good-standing comment on threads to give a balanced perspective. Too bad JWs don't allow exJWs (i.e., apostates) and "Worldly" people speak freely at KHs and assemblies to bring a balanced perspective to JWs.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
P.S. - Teary have you been keeping up to date on the WTBTS' new light, which says that JWs must not visit and/or participate in forums such as JWN. I don't want you to get in trouble and be Df'ed.
LKM,
Hi there, this site will be a help for you both.
Difficult position to be in, isn't it?
Hard to believe that there is no gracious way out of this "cult". Except by extreme punishment or death!
Many come do come back, only to have access to their families and friends again!
Imagine that ... 7 old men in Brooklyn have that much power over 7 million sheep!
All the best
clarity
WALK AWAY! You will get sucked in and your family unit will suffer because of it. Even if he doesn't believe, there are certain traditions to be followed. I am not a disgruntled ex-Witness as Teary mentions, I'm still a baptized JW and have succesfully blackmailed the organization into not disfellowshipping me.
As you can see from Teary's response, the ad-hominems and attacks against those that do not agree with every single position the Watchtower leadership takes will never stop and Teary is just a scratch on the surface. They will attack your side of the family, your current faith (or lack thereof) and practices. If you have JW at your job and you actively go against their tradition or try to prevent your loved ones from getting brainwashed, they will sometimes put pressure on you there or say things that may get you in trouble.
This may sound over-the-top what I just said but depending on the people there, they may or may not do any or all of the above. It has happened to some of us, read some of the stories on here. I lost my wife and newborn baby to the cult after succesfully protecting them against the harms of the blood transfusion teachings, I KNOW what I'm talking about.
I have documents (posted on here elsewhere) about a woman that chose abortion because of an ectopic pregnancy (and everyone knows that there is no way a mother can survive nor the baby come to full term) and they punished her. I have documents (posted on here elsewhere) about a young man being punished because he is a homosexual and the graphic details the church leadership asks for during those closed-doors, no representative, illegal 'judicial' proceedings. I have documents (posted here and on the Internet) about their financial systems, their official responses, rules and documentation to the victims of child abuse (2 witness rule, forced confrontations with the abuser without professional help, recommendations to report anonymously so as not to involve the church and to hide and protect abusers claiming ecclesiastal privileges).
You can't see it from the surface but they are DANGEROUS. They are INSIDIOUS. STAY AWAY. I know it's hard for your man and I lost everything and everybody to them (EVERYBODY) as well, I live right now in a cheap shared apartment with 2 roommates. The contact with that side of the family is not worth it, the only way they will accept him and you is if you live by THEIR standards, no other way is possible to them.
"Hi Teary Oberon, good evening! Where have you been hiding? It is always good to have an active, JW in good-standing comment on threads to give a balanced perspective. Too bad JWs don't allow exJWs (i.e., apostates) and "Worldly" people speak freely at KHs and assemblies to bring a balanced perspective to JWs."
And the distortions and unsupported assumptions begin almost immediately after posting...is this really what you want to get into LKM?
1. Teary has not claimed to be an "active JW in good standing." Only you assumed that for the sake of your strawman and personal attacks.
2. An apostate ex-Witness is one who consciously decided to reject their former affiliation and then actively criticize it and try to "bring it down" afterwards. They really wouldn't have any reason to be sitting through meetings since their entire role as an apostate is defined by their attacks against and opposition to the Witnesses, so your point is moot. Non-apostate Witnesses though, are perfectly free to come to meetings and comment freely during the question and answer sesssions. Also, assemblies aren't designed for Q&A from the audience, Witness or non-Witness (way too many people there to make that practical), so that point is moot too.
"P.S. - Teary have you been keeping up to date on the WTBTS' new light, which says that JWs must not visit and/or participate in forums such as JWN."
They discourage 'chat rooms' mainly because of the prevalence of silver tongued wolves in sheep's clothing like yourself. They also discourage using websites to carry out the same functions as the official site for Witnesses (providing official information about the group and its beliefs), since that would be redundant and could cause unnecessary competition. But just general hanging out on the internet and answering questions? They caution against it yes, but it not really banned. There used to be a huge group of Witnesses that hung out on Yahoo Answers, including several elders and a Teary. None of them really cared, nor did those in their congregations that knew about it.
"Bryan R. Wilson, who was a professor of Sociology at Oxford University, writes that apostates of new religious movements are generally in need of self-justification, and seek to reconstruct their past and to excuse their former affiliations, while blaming those who were formerly their closest associates. Wilson utilizes the term atrocity story, [a story] that is in his view rehearsed by the apostate to explain how, by manipulation, coercion or deceit, he was recruited to a group that he now condemns. (Wilson, Bryan R. (Ed.) The Social Dimensions of Sectarianism, Rose of Sharon Press, 1981) Wilson also challenges the reliability of the apostate's testimony by saying that "the apostate [is] always seen as one whose personal history predisposes him to bias with respect to his previous religious commitment and affiliations, [so] the suspicion must arise that he acts from a personal motivation, to vindicate himself and to regain his self-esteem, by showing himself to have been first a victim, but subsequently a redeemed crusader." (Wilson, Bryan R. Apostates and New Religious Movements, Oxford, England, 1994) " Read more quotes and get more good references at Teary's blog post (scroll down after clicking the link to find the post): http://tearsofoberon.blogspot.com/2009/10/brainwashing-and-apostasy-quotations.html
Teary, Do you think I will read all of your fucking garbage can?
