Hatred Toward Gays / Homosexuals

by garbonzo 65 Replies latest members adult

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  garbonzo

  As a child growing up my family and outside family would "hate" gays without saying the word, because of that scripture of course. My family doesn't watch Ellen or Rosie O'Donnell, My mom shows her disgust with laws pasted and Chaz Bono on dancing with the stars. My uncle even uses the word faggot or fag to describe a contestant on America's Got Talent outright wishing him not to go through to the next round.

  How hypocritical, "Show love to all people of all nations [JW Edit: Except Gays]"

  Although I can't speak for gays, as I'm not one, but I'm a believer in the studies that show that some if not all gays are born that way, especially when small children who can barely talk are showing that they'd rather be a girl than a boy. A true religion would acknowledge both sexualities.
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  wannabefree

  http://youtube.com/v/v3S24ofEQj4&feature=player_embedded
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  talesin

  garbonzo, this is an huge issue! Thank you for addressing it from such a straightforward, yet neutral position ...

  Your compassion and empathy is something that warms my heart ...

  Many gay JW youth suicide, and those who don't live through a nightmare that we 'hets' can only imagine! (for those who don't know,,, 'het' is slang/short for heterosexual, esp. among the gay community, which I HUGELY prefer to the term 'breeder' . Not all hets are breeders!)

  My friend hung himself (age 17, 1975, Mark ALWAYS REMEMBER) because of homophobia. We must speak out about this issue, so that folks understand it is not a choice,,, it is not a lifestyle,,, it is WHO YOU ARE!!

  tal

  * straight, but not narrow, klass *
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  AK MCGRATH

  OMG! Was that video for real? Please tell me it wasn't. That Ralph is a fucking Pedophile. That is how shit starts about equating gay men to pedophiles. Got my blood boiling. Surprising we haven't seen a similar re-enactment on an assembly program!

  I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Tal. This is why, when people say things like, just pray away the gay, "they" always have to put their agenda out there, just stay in the closet, or harrass someone by their hateful speech or even to the point of killing them, it is sickening. WHY WOULD ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND UNDERGO INTERNAL DAMNATION AND ENDURE SHIT FROM OTHERS IF THEY COULD JUST CHANGE THEIR THINKING? I am sure if your friend could have felt differently, he would have. God know I always tried. And thank God for allies. They have kept many GLBT people alive, I am sure!

  I didn't grow up in the "Truth", and although I dated when I was younger and before becoming a JW, those same-sex feelings were always there. They only got stronger as time went by. Do you know how hard it is to be in love with someone you CANNOT be in love with? It was so difficult to deal with I moved out of state so as to minimalize contact.

  As the years went by, my attractions got stronger. I was almost having a breakdown because I felt so miserable. I ended up telling one of my best friends that I started to have feelings for her. Needless to say, this did not go well.

  I came to my breaking point a few years later. It came down to suicide or walking away from every single friend I had (cuz you know you have to give up all your prior friends) and people I truly cared for and loved. As I contemplated how to do it, would it be an automobile accident? Just ram someone head on? I thought, I couldn't do that, as I would most likey kill the other person. And that would be the most selfish thing to do. Take someone else's life to end my own. So I thought of other ways to end my torture.

  Of course all this took a toll. I wasn't showing up for work when I should. I was missing almost every meeting, I was taken off the pioneer list because of that and my lack of servie. I just couldn't get out of bed even though I knew I had to. I just COULDN'T!

  The conclusion I came to was this: What would be worse? Taking my life or living a life of a gay woman. If Jehovah detests me because I am gay and feels fit to disregard the goodness, compassion and love in my heart for something that is just as much a part of my being, then he has that right. However, I thought the greatest sin would be to take this precious gift of life I was given, no matter how hellish a life it has been.

  So here I am, living a happy life with someone who adores and cherishes me and wants to marry me. Although I was guilt-ridden in the beginning of starting a relationship, that has long vanished.

  My family knows and loves me unconditionally (and probably thanks God for me leaving the organ), and I have friends who accept me for who I truly am. No pretenses...it's pretty damn nice!

  As today is national "COMING OUT DAY", I finally put that status on my Facebook page. For the longest I thought, well, what if one of my JW friends finds out? Today I finally showed that I was out. I don't have contaact with them anyway, and if they have a problem with it, then it is their problem.

  Sorry for the long post..once I get goin', it's hard to stop sometimes. THANK YOU ALLIES!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO
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  irondork

  I like how you finish telling your story, AK MCGRATH. Congrats for a lot of things and... I had no idea this was national COMING OUT DAY.

  I say, "HAAAAAAY!!!"

  Garbonzo said: My family doesn't watch Ellen or Rosie O'Donnell

  After 20 years of disfellowshippment, I got reinstated. (Oh God, why?) During the two years I was back in my father died and my mother had to come live with me for a bit. In my own home she would refuse to watch the Ellen Show because she's a lesbian but had no problem watching the Oprah show even though Oprah was unmarried and living with some guy. It's not about morals, it's about GAY. Totally irrational. She knew I was gay of course and my roomie brought all this to her attention and she would just go silent.

  Mom didn't last long in my house because I didn't let that crap slide.

  I also didn't last long back in the organization.
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  TimothyT

  Yes... i agree with what you say Garbonzo.

  Despite the fact that the New Testament is laden with scriptures and principles which encourage True Christians to love EVERYONE and ANYONE, for some reason people these days (without knowing they are doing it) just slam homosexuals because in society it has been a taboo subject.

  Im not the kind of gay who goes around and shows it off in front of others. I believe in total equality. However i am happy the way that western soceity is becoming more liberal. I think its healthy for all of us and more closetes gay men can realise that they dont need to be afraid anymore. :)

  Regarding JWs, they are too focused on doctrine and their interpretation of the bible than showing true love to others. I was shunned and although i told the elders that they could NEVER understand my feelings unless they had them too, they used phrases like, "we hope you will come to your senses", "we are disfellowshipping you under loose conduct", "Jehovah condemns homosexuals". Its sad that these men were involved in something which they clearly didnt understand, tactlessly thinking homosexuals CHOOSE to live this way. Do i personaly want to be involved with people like this anyway?

  Timmy xxx
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  WTWizard

  I see no reason to hate gays and lesbians. What I hate is when some of them try to ram it down my throat. They can parade their own lifestyle all they want as long as I don't have to become like them. It's when they try to restrict me to other men only that I have a problem--a very big one at that.

  And, I don't think simple gay slur would accurately describe someone like that. The word "tyrant" would be more accurate.
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  TimothyT

  I agree with you WTWizard! I think minority groups of people do go too far. They may insist on equality and freeness of speech, but by so doing they actualy take away peoples freeness to say what they feel. What an interesting paradox.
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  scotsman

  Fascinating. I have to ask you WTWizard & TimothyT, who/where are these people that "try to restrict me to other men only"?
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  Quendi

  Thank you, AK MCGRATH, for sharing your story with us. That took a lot of courage. I am glad that you chose life and have found a partner with whom to share it. As the movie Into the Wild stated, "The greatest happiness is that which is shared." You have discovered the truth of that statement.

  I can understand the pain you must have felt, talesin, when your friend Mark ended his life. My best friend committed suicide, and for twenty-five years I grieved and mourned. Finally, with the help of a very close friend, I laid Tom to rest. While my grieving has finally ended, I'll always love, honor, and cherish his memory. My friend made the choice so many other gay men make and all because he could not endure the pressure anymore. His life was exacerbated by the fact that he was also a married Witness. The religion taught him that his life was worthless because he was "different" and inflicted with a weakness that God himself was disgusted with.

  I endured the shame and hatred that all LGBT people do from a society that hated and feared us. I had hoped, like so many of us, that the religion would "transform" me so that I would be "normal" and like everyone else. As irondork related, I also prayed, worked hard, and did everything in my power to make my mind over. Nothing worked. I also stood on the brink of suicide. Fortunately, I had loving friends who were able to pull me back. An outstanding therapist also helped. All of these people put me on the road to finally accepting and loving myself. That is why I know there can be no return to Jehovah's Witnesses for me despite the fact I still have friends and family in the organization. I will not freely associate with people who won't accept me for who I am.

  Life is better for me now. I have found a spiritual community that has welcomed me warmly and lovingly. I am broadening my associations to meet new people. I have even begun thinking of finding a partner of my own to spend my remaining years with. None of this would have happened had I remained a Witness, and that tells me I have made the right choice. I have not simply acknowledged that I am a gay man, but have accepted and embraced that fact. Just as importantly, I have come to believe and realize that God does not hate me, that he loves me deeply and wants me to live my life to the full. That has made me very happy and given me much inner peace.

  So I don't let the hatred, fear, and ignorance that others have toward LGBT people impace me anymore. No, I don't wave rainbow flags in people's faces nor try to convert them to my way of thinking. I have adopted a "live and let live" philosophy, something I never had as a Witness. That has made life easier for me and my neighbors, and I like to think that when they do learn about me, my conduct and example will do more to change their attitude than anything else.

  Quendi