Did any of you need counselling or psychotherapy as a JW?

by TimothyT 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  exwhyzee

  I went to counseling to find out what all the terrible unexplainable anxiety I was suffering from, was all about. If I talked to a JW about it, all they could do is say it was Satan working on me or I needed to read the account of Job in the Bible, pray incessantly or get out in service more. In counseling, I couldn't really "tell all" so I kept quiet about the JW side of my life. I didn't want to bring reproach on the organization. What if the counselor was turned away from the Org. by something I said ? Of course there was also the fear that they would tell me I needed to get out of the religion altogether, especially since that's what we were always warned would happen if we listened to man's wisdom. The two counselors I saw were perplexed because I had a stable happy family life, a good job and wasn't hooked on anything. They said the kind of symptoms I described were usually found in patients who were in the middle of divorce, job loss, drug addiction or some other traumatic experience.

  I even went to a Witness Counselor who asked me sign an agreement stating that if anything of concern to the Elders came out during our sessions, she would have to reveal it to them. She was a sad dreary lady who revealed that she had at one point in her life had been disfellowshipped. To me, she seemed in need of therapy herself. I saw her at an assembly later (which was uncomfortable) and she looked utterly miserable.

  I fond counseling helpful and enlightening but mostly it was like having a very expensive friend to bounce things off of.

  Eventually, another set of circumstances which I've mentioned on here before, led my Wife and I to decide to hang the whole JW business up and leave for good. Poof....no more anxiety, no more panic no more doom and gloom. I later realized that for me, the meetings were like attending a funeral 3 times a week. Once I stepped away from the constant negativity, the false hopes, the dire warnings masqurading as worship and got out from under the burden of serving God, Watchtower style, I began to heal at once.
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  Awen

  I was told by an Elder friend that perhaps counseling would help me with my depression since nothing else (meeting attendance, FS and prayer) had worked.

  It was possibly the best advice I was ever given by a JW.

  I went for a year and found that the organization and the way it beats it's members into submission by denial of basic humn rights, needs, desires was at the root of my depression.

  I also realized that my non-JW friends were a source of great encouragement. Medication helped somewhat.

  I received no support from the congregation but a few people did ask me secretly if it was helping. Without telling them about what I discovered I related how it was relief to be able to speak to someone who wasn't a JW and who had little knowledge of the organization. This helps the patient to see the organization from the outside, with a fresh perspective. I didn't have to worry about my counselor going back to the Elders and relaying what had been said. In the case of couselors who are JW's you could always sue them for breach of patient/doctor confidentiality so I always asked each counselor what their religious affiliation was. Most were atheists.

  Once I stepped away from the organization my depression all but disappeared. I still have bouts of it from time to time but not the near suicidal episodes I once had.

  Psychology saved my life.
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  Heartofaboy

  Yes I did Timmy, bet you can guess what it was about.......

  I tried to protect the Jehovah's Witnesses as much as I could but in the end I was was being unfair to myself & the counselor.

  I felt very disloyal.

  My first cousellor said he had never met anyone with such a strong faith, yet to the JW's in my cong' I was seen as spritually weak, not doing enough in field service, not answering up, not pre studying etc etc.

  Thank fully as I live in the UK I did not have to pay for all the counselling I received.
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  erbie

  Yes, I too have seen a counsellor. Didn't go for years after I had left the borg and just struggled on doing what I felt responsible for. Psychotherapy does help one to see that they are/have been a victim of an extremely controling influence which affects the way we view ourselves and the world around us. There is no magic bullet and it's a long road to any sense of normality. When I look at the damage they did to me and my family I wish I could sue them.

  Like discreetslave, I am looking to study psychology and help others as I feel it is all that is left for me to do.

  I think many on the inside are a ticking time bomb.
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  bigmouth

  I have been a long time inpatient / outpatient. I can recall two women, both daughters of elders who briefly attended some of my cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) groups. I can still remember the look of shame and horror on these fathers faces on seeing me leaving a group these women were attending.

  Neither lasted more than about a four or five sessions.

  It took me over 15 years before I even vaguely discussed my life as a Witness
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  lovelylil

  Niether my hubby nor I did, I think because we were not raised in the org. But we had counseling for both our kids who were in it since birth. Our daughter was 11 and our son 9 when we left. They did have some anxiety for a while, our son especially thought "jehovah" would destroy him because the left the "truth". And our daughter who is 19 now and doing better, had some social anxiety issues for a couple years. It was harder for them since all the friends they ever had were JW kids and to loose them all at once for a child is very hard.

  The therapy for the kids was definately worth it, they are very well adjusted now with tons of friends. Peace, Lilly
• 

  TimothyT

  Thanks everyone for your comments.

  I know first hand what it is like to feel opressed by the borg, but the worst thing about it is when you are trapped in limbo and you dont even know where the pressure is coming from. Naturaly, you deny that it is the organisation which is causing it as you firmly want to believe that this is the truth and that Jesus is leading you. I pity those poor brothers and sisters who i knew that suffer terribly with anxiety, stress, and depression, but have no idea that perhaps the cause of it all is being part of this organisation. Even if they realise it, they cant change it because of threats of losing family, friends and spirituality. For the sake of my own health and life, I had to leave. Simple as that!

  I think its great that many of you had counselling after you left the borg as this has helped you to make sense of it all and to fill that gap with reason and understanding. Well done to you. :) For those who had counselling when a JW, it seems to me that they view counselling sessions as a way to vent their feelings. They know that if they speak about such things to an elder (who would socialy take on the role of counsellor) they risk being disfellowshipped. I guess bottling up these feelings for so long makes things worse.

  Isnt it disgusting how the Watchtower has trapped millions of people in their own minds?
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  wha happened?

  There was an elder who apprently was a therapist in Los Angeles. A lot of JW's went to him. I did. Wow what a waste of time. From his odd manner of speach, (he spoke in low tones to the point u had to lean forward to understand him), he was also 100% right. If he asked u a question and u answered in a manner that was different then he was epecting, he would say you weren't being honest. He tried that crap on me and I walked out. He muttered something about me not facing my issues and I reminded him that he's not the only Dr in town. And yet, JW's would continue seeking his "help" in droves
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  00DAD

  @ wha happened? - That sounds like your talking about Larry Onoda.

  When my wife and I separated we interviewed him to help our then 15 year old son deal with the separation. After the interview, we both--all though by this time in our marriage we couldn't agree on much--agreed that he was NOT the person to help us or anybody. He was truly scary, I mean seriously messed up!!! My ex-wife, a born-in True Believer to this day, preferred a "worldly" psychologist over that wanker.

  What a basket-case HE is. The only thing that keeps him in business is the JWs that will go to him "because he's a brother!" ... as in, Oh Brother!
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  DarioKehl

  yup! Cognitive therapy. Worked wonders--no prescrips here!