References: what did the elders say about you to your other half during courtship?

by truthseeker 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    I do not want to go into to the details, but I was STRONGLY 'ADMONISHED' by the elders over the course of several 'shepherding calls' not to pursue a relationship with the woman who turned out to be my wife of many, happy years. Their counsel was not based upon the bible, but personal opinion.
    To them I say, GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!!!!
    QUARTERBACK - I like your practical advice, there is a lot of truth in what you say. I would just add that a sense of humor is also crucial for a lasting relationship.

  • jamiebowers

    I wish they would've said something to me, but I wasn't baptized, and he was when he started pursuing me, so it would've been a bad witness. Despite the fact that the elders knew he was mentally deranged and violent enough to beat his own mother, no one said a word to me. I was only 17 when we married, and he was 25.

    Ironically enough, after I fled for my life after enduring almost seven years of physical and mental torture, his elder uncle wanted me to warn his next prospective victim...I mean bride.

  • donuthole

    While dating I was told that I needed to break it off with my girlfriend because she was "worldly". (She was raised in a JW household, but wasn't baptized yet.) I did break off - and they appointed me an MS - but then we secretly got back together and I was deleted as an MS. She ended getting baptized and we ended getting married and now we are out of the religion and happily married 15 years.

  • Quarterback

    Thanks, BOC

    May you have many happy years with the wife of your youth.


  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    My Step brother elder tried to talk me out of marrying my now ex. Can't remember what he said was wrong and i assumed he really wanted her for his son...

    But given the extreme hostile nature of the witch i'm not so sure!

    maybe i shoulda listened!


  • Quarterback

    Well, sometimes when a person tells you something about someone regardles of whether it's an Elder or family member, it comes as privilledged informatio. But when someone pulls out info, such as Field Service hours, in the discussion, that's just an attempt to find a flaw. Hours are not that important in the grand scheme of things. Would you marry someone that is considered to be a workaholic? Maybe some would. But, living with them is not easy.

  • finallysomepride

    Nothing, & they didn't say anything to me, we kept them out of our lives. It helped that my now ex was never baptised.

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