by truthseeker 16 Replies latest jw friends
When you announced your intention to marry, what did the elders say to your future bride/groom?
In a long distance courtship, did you have any trouble getting a good "spiritual" reference?
An elder in my hall told the elders in my wife's hall that I was a low hour publisher.
They didn't have much to say to me because I was the only one who was baptised. They tried to tell me that marrying my husband while he is unbaptised is just like marrying a "Man of the nations"
Norcal,
A brother I know lost his privileges as a ministerial servant because he married his wife who was studying the bible and came into the truth anyway. Go figure!
It shows that bible studies are viewed as second class citizens, despite going to the hall, studying, preaching etc.
We never asked for references. We did it the old fashioned way. Met at coffee shops, service, movies, walking in the rain, talked, argued, hugged, kissed good night....maybe should have been marked for that. Sometimes, asking for a reference can get in the way of Romance.
I see asking for a reference is good, if there is a Parole Officer in the picture.
Yes you hit the nail on the head! Also the irony of it all was that I had gotten baptised WHILE we were dating, and we were both raised JWs.
I was talking to an Elder who looked at a young sister's publisher record card before deciding to marry her. That marriage didn't last.
I've seen Special Pioneers break-up. One older special pioneer counseled me for having a short engagement. She later on married, and then divorced. I'm celebrating my 38 yrs pagon anniversary next month.
If she or he feels right, works hard, doesn't like to win every arguement, looks good to you, uses words like thank-you, sorry, please in their vocabulary, is better than a 10 hr a month publisher. I don't have the scriptures to back me up on this, but I do have the 38 years.
Oh yes, one more thing. This is really important. See how your future prospective mate treats their parents. If they show any aggresion or hatred or disrespect without good reason....that's a warning sign. Run like hell away from those people.
They didn't say anything about Mr Scully to me, and they couldn't say anything based in fact about me because I had just moved there from 1000 miles away.
One of the girls in my hall growing up married an outsider. She was such a nice girl but couldn't find anyone compatible in the few marriage worthy men in the surrounding areas. She met this guy and hit it off great with him. When it came time for her to marry him, the elders brought her to the notorious back room where they forbid her to marry him, like she was a five year old getting ready to touch the burner. She's 30 something and these brothers had the gall to forbid her to marry him. It just amazes me. The audacity. She stopped going afterward.
PYRAMIDSCHEME and I had a long distance relationship. When we were contemplating marriage I asked him for the name and number of an elder in his hall. He gave me an elder who he studied with and worked with, thinking he would get a good reference. The elder not only told me that PYRAMID was a low hour publisher and not as regular at the meetings as he could be, but that his little boy (6 at the time) was a 'difficult child.' I don't really like kids, but I had already been able to judge this little boy as being surprisingly well behaved. Later, this same elder was divorced by his cheating wife and removed as an elder for going on unchaperoned dates with another sister.
