All New School for JW's

by KingDavidwasframed 21 Replies latest social humour

  • KingDavidwasframed

    In order to combat the evils of having to educate our children in the schools of the World (what with all the evolution teaching and sex and sports out there - eww), the WTB&TS have decided to start their own private schools. Here is an example of what they will teach at this God endorsed school for His name people:

    2+2 = monkey
    1914-607 (carry the zero year) X the number of wt bound volumes + the studies in the scriptures and we get the year that YHWH will kill all the babies and rich people so that we can move into their houses

    On this day in 687 BCE, the General Gallus Alotus sent word that he was going to cross the Jordan. However, before he could, young Russel Itus reminded him that there was no zero year, therefore the General changed the year back to 688 BCE in order for young Russel's math to work out thus fulfilling prophecy. Also explaining why we have an extra day in February every 4 years.

    You see here children that Paul used the word "Reason". Now examining Masoritic text and the Dead Sea scrolls you can clearly see that this is the one time that Paul used the ancient Sanskrit meaning of the word to repeat endlessly and deny any other possibility

    For years we were allowed by Jehovah to believe that the Scarlet Colored Wild Beast was the UN - AND - that was His purpose for us to believe that. But in 1991 we sent spies into the UN posing as a NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) who just wanted to use the library. Light was then made clear to us from Jah after Al Gore invented the internet that Satan was really using Facebook to mislead the nations and that the drunken harlot riding on its back was all the young girls making duck faces and tagging the pictures. This is further made clear by all of the poking and facebook sex going on.

    All JW Youth shall dress in a manner befitting of their Creator. Boys must wear dark suit pants, a white shirt and a solid colored tie (either black, brown or blue - no slogon's). During class the young brothers are expected to keep their jackets on and while in the hall. Please walk in time with your brothers while walking in the corridor and raise your legs level with your hips and swing your hands as you do so. Our young Sisters are expected to wear dresses covering the ankles, have no skin showing from the neck down and must not be so tight as to make out your granny panties.

    Please pack your lunches in a brown paper bag without any logos or product names. Bagels left over from the 1992 District Convention will be available for a modest donation.

    It is our sincerest goal that this education program will protect our children from the harsh world out there and turn them into the next great pioneers in order to educate the resurrected ones who will not understand God's math the way he taught us.

    Your Brothers
    The F&DSC (that means your God appointed Overlords)

  • finallysomepride

    Don't forget school holidays would only coincide with conventions LOL

  • KingDavidwasframed

    Good one Pride


    Dinosaurs were buried by the Devil to confuse mankind in the end of days

  • angel.face

    For sex ed will the young brothers study 'Reasoning with the Sisters'?

  • finallysomepride

    Physical Education = door to door warm ups

  • KingDavidwasframed

    LOL Angel and Pride - good ones!

  • cantleave

    Don't forget Social Studies: Males dominate Females

  • finallysomepride

    There would only ever be a Headmaster, no Headmistress

  • ScenicViewer

    Love the Social Studies program. Very funny!

  • KingDavidwasframed

    You liked that Scenic? lol I succesfully figured out how they will explain away that whole UN thing lol

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