A Letter to My Sons ... A Request for Help

by 00DAD 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  00DAD

  It has now been over two years since I was DF'd.

  In that time I have had limited contact with my 17 year old son, the younger, and almost no contact with my 20 year old. The older boy was baptized 5 years ago and sadly the younger just recently took the plunge into the "pool-aid".

  The reasons for my leaving the organization are varied, but of course it all started with doubts and disagreements with the GB's teachings and their assertions at being "God's organization. Numerous threads on this site have dealt exhaustively with that subject and I'm not intending to go down that path yet one more time.

  The reason I am writing this post is this: While I am trying to remain optimistic at the possibility of reaching my sons, helping them to WAKE UP to the Real Truth about the WTBTS and eventually reuniting with them; I am also trying to be pragmatic concerning the reality of the situation. At this point, both of my boys are True Believers and have reacted to my leaving (as many do) by becoming über-Witnesses. Nevertheless, I have hope and faith that--even though they are confused that I would leave a religion that I taught them--they are smart enough and strong enough to eventually come around and follow my example. (Most of their family are JWs).

  Although I am currently in excellent health at the relatively young age of 50, I recognize that "time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." And so I am beginning to write a letter that would be delivered to them in the event of my untimely demise absent that much longed for reunification.

  Aside from the obvious declarations of my on-going unconditional love for them, I do not want to leave this life without at least one last attempt at reaching their hearts and their minds, one final effort to help them break free of the un-loving and un-Christian cult of JWs.

  For these reasons I would like to enlist the aid and assistance of all on this site who feel so inclined and would like to share any thoughts, advice, encouragement, experiences, commentary or even just your opinions about what to include or exclude from such a letter.

  My ultimate goals of such a letter would be twofold: for my sons to know that I always loved them without reservation, and that I hope they find the courage within themselves to do what I did and break free from the control of the WTBTS.

  Thank you,

  Daniel
• 

  cedars

  Daniel, I would help you write such a letter. PM me if you need help.
• 

  ABibleStudent

  00DAD - My ultimate goals of such a letter would be twofold: for my sons to know that I always loved them without reservation, and that I hope they find the courage within themselves to do what I did and break free from the control of the WTBTS.

  Hi 00DAD. I don't feel that one letter will achieve your goals. Instead of sending them one letter, send them emails with pictures of you doing fun things that they might enjoy, postcards from trips that you go on, and birthday cards. I know that they probably will reject all of your attempts to maintain contact with them, and that will show them your unconditional love for them. If you feel any regrets about how you treated them because you were a JW, you might also want to let them know how much you regreted what you did. In a few years they may have doubts, and they may seek out your advice because you showed them unconditional love and honesty.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  ABibleStudent
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  N.drew

  Matthew 16:24,25 Are you following Jesus for Jesus' sake, or are you following the Governing Body to save yourself?
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  garyneal

  The older boy was baptized 5 years ago and sadly the younger just recently took the plunge into the "pool-aid".

  I liked that one.
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  Quendi

  I have never been a husband or father so I'm not in the best position to give you counsel on this matter, Daniel. But, for what it is worth, I would not only write the letter, but would also include a DVD with pictures and a video recording from you. Seeing the love on your face as you look into the camera and talk frankly and lovingly to your sons can have tremendous impact. It is also something that might influence their own children if ever they are so blessed.

  I am a strong believer in the written word, being a writer myself. But I also think pictures and video recordings can have a powerful impact, especially in this digital age. So I would suggest that you prepare different materials to be passed on to your sons when the time comes whether that should occur shortly or many years hence. I'm sure that you will be able to find someone who can assist you in doing this, and I want to wish you every success in this project. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss this further.

  Quendi
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  N.drew

  "pool-aid" I liked that too. "Apostates" are so funny for their puns. Helping someone "get out'?

  Suggest that they might be a little less serious. Someone might publish a book, Apostate Puns.
• 

  Perry

  And what would you have them replace the WT worldview with? When my elder brother was dispatched to save me he ignored my facts and logic and zeroed in on "where else could we go" given that all religions participate in the military.

  Could you biblically defend military service? How about salvation of the individual and not the group and why this is important? Could you prove that death does not wipe a persons' slate clean from the bible? If you are not able to address military service and salvation, I would get to the bottom of those issues first.
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  00DAD

  Thanks to all who have commented so far. Already I've gotten some really good ideas from just these few posts!!!!

  • DVDs & Pictures
  • Postcards
  • Emails
  • Scriptures

  I wanted to let you and any future posters know that I have tried over the past two years and continue to try to have has much communication as possible with both my boys. I regularly send the younger one emails and text messages. (And recently I was even able to confirmed that he actually reads at least some of them even if he doesn't respond.) My older son has blocked my cell phone so I can't call or text, but I do send them both postcards and other items from time to time.

  Keep the ideas coming, I really appreciate it!

  Thanks,

  Daniel
• 

  garyneal

  And what would you have them replace the WT worldview with? When my elder brother was dispatched to save me he ignored my facts and logic and zeroed in on "where else could we go" given that all religions participate in the military.

  Not all religions, Perry, what about the Amish?