by Pika_Chu 25 Replies latest jw friends
The meetings sucked back in the eighties- last century! They would be incredibly boring week after week, and then every few months there would be a Watchtower study that would scare the f*ck out of me!
Bastards!
It was all crap anyway... all their worthless prophecies failed.
"How do I stay sane you ask? Therapy"
No!!!! You keep your sanity by stopping living a double life and get out of the Org. forever, whatever the consequences. Farkel is right - " Until you reach THAT point and re-claim the life that has been stolen from you, you haven't even begun to live again".
"You CANNOT live this way." - It's true.
Living a double life will tear you apart in the end.
The only way is OUT!
The sooner you can stop going to the kingdum hell the sooner your raw pain will fade.
When you are too close to the problem it causes anger which is why I left 'cold turkey'.
I hope you can get away from the meetings as soon as possible.
Nothing's changed then?
LOL @ Farkel and shepherd! You are absolutely right, the pair of you. I have NOT begun to live. Baby steps though.
And I agree that living a double life will take a toll. That's why I don't do anything but attend the meetings. I gave up everything else because I knew the hypocrisy on my part behind it.
But, as most here realize, we don't all have the circumstances to do it the way y'all did. So I'll do it my way for now, even if I'm considered a coward. I know how far I've come and the changes I have been able to make. And therapy was the route to accomplish that. If it wasn't for that, I don't think I still would be in one piece.
I'm not offended in the least bit by what was said, and indeed appreciate the support. Why? Well, YOU'RE RIGHT! LOL And I'm working on getting away.
CoC
Yes, they always sucked. But they have been sucking even worse lately. Boring comments, Kingdumb sxxx that almost no one likes, a message that no one really understands, stupid rules--I think they suck worse, and I don't even go any more!
Now, if the end was coming and they needed clearer instructions, such should be blatantly obvious. Trouble is, you would be required to think. For me, my "meetings" are watching the price of silver. One day I am going to come home from work and find it up $900,000,000,000 or more. That is going to catch everyone off guard. At that point, it is time to take it and cash in a tiny portion of it, and move out of the country before the government confiscates it. But all I need to see that is a chart of the silver price--an increase of a toilet paper or two is no big deal, but seeing a whopper of a hockey stick means it's time to get moving.
Why in hell the witlesses don't get instructions of similar clarity, unless the whole thing is designed to keep them from ever thinking...
The meetings at the Kingdom Hall have always sucked. You're just begun to notice it. Once you wake up to the fact that the meetings suck it will only get worse. I think it is called the Dyson Effect.
I was totally bored at the meetings even when I still believed it was the truth. The only way I could cope with going to the meetings was to go as little as possible so I would work overtime so that by the time I got off it was too late to attend. Or I would work an extra half day on Saturdays. This was great because not only did I get out of the meetings and Saturday morning door knocking my paychecks were much bigger. It was a win win situation for me. You might try something like that while you are living at home. That way they will only think you "weak in the truth". Not a total full blown aposate.
But that is a temporary measure while you plan your great escape. Once you no longer believe in it the best thing you could do is what Farkel and Timothy said. You need to cut your losses and get out. If you try to play the game of pretending to be a JW to keep your family and conditional friends it will effect your mental health. The longer you live the lie weaker you will become as a person and it will be even harder for you to take a stand. I've seen some on the internet who have wasted the first half of their life being a JW and are wasting the second half pretending to be a JW. I find it very sad.
It would be impossible for me to describe the load that was lifted off of me the day I told the Watchtower to stuff it.
Dear god, they are so negative and if something ever was to happen to someone, i.e. leaving the cult, they put the spin on that they had no faith, or it's all your fault.
Just listen to it next time - Governing Body = happy, everything else = Bad. There is no middle ground.
Pika_Chu....I have no advice. You are so very young, still living at home, and have a deep love for your family.
The WTS keeps people like you chained for years by the threat of losing your family. It is truly a sick cult disguised as a religion of love.
Are you baptized? If not, you have a chance of holding on to your family. If you are, then prepare for a rocky road ahead as you try to feel your way through the obstacles standing in the way of freedom. Don't give up on prayer like many tend to do. Religion, especially cultish groups, are the culprit, so don't allow it to steal away your connection to the Divine.
