Okay I believe the Andre thing now.

by Sharpie 57 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    Andre thought there was nothing wrong with having Smurf Wallpaper until one Night the Little Blue Smurfs attacked poor Andre.

    Andre quickly prayed to Jehovah and the Demonized Smurfs ran away. The next day Andre pulled the wallpaper down and quickly Burned it so as to Protect himself from the Evil Influence he allowed into his house.

    How wonderful it is to have such a Caring and Protective Friend like Jehovah to protect you from Satan's influence.

    Like Smurfs...we to should stay away from Satan's Demons such as Apostates!!

    Praise Jah!

  • Bella15
    Bella15

    I wonder how they translate that name into different languages ?

  • wannabefree
    wannabefree

    Andre also has a problem with masturbation.

    *** yp2 chap. 29 p. 240 How Can I Keep My Mind off Sex? ***
    Masturbation can make you a slave to your desires. (Titus 3:3) One way you can start to conquer the habit is to confide in someone. A Christian who struggled with masturbation for several years comments: "How I wish I could have summoned the courage to talk to someone about it when I was a youth! Feelings of guilt plagued me for many years, and it seriously affected my relationships with others and, above all, with Jehovah."
    Whom should you talk to? A parent is often the most logical choice. Or perhaps a mature member of the Christian congregation can help. You could start by saying, "I'd like to talk to you about a problem that's bothering me a lot."
    André talked to a Christian elder, and he's glad he did. "As the elder listened to me, his eyes filled with tears," André says. "When I finished, he assured me of Jehovah's love for me. He told me that my problem is a common one. He promised to check on my progress and to bring me more information from Bible-study aids. Talking with him, I resolved to keep up the fight-even if further relapses occurred."
  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Andre is severely degrading the credibility of the Botchtower's "authentic real life" stories.

    Andre also has a problem with masturbation.

    Next up in the ragazines, how Andre got the clap.

  • JRK
    JRK

    Does Andre become gay because he whacked off? Inquiring minds want to know!

    JK

  • talesin
    talesin

    LMAO!!! this thread kills!!

    tal

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    Andre is a busy man... at all hours apparently. God wouldn't like what he does in the late hours...

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    André talked to a Christian elder [about his masturbating], and he's glad he did. "As the elder listened to me, his eyes filled with tears," André says. - *** yp2 chap. 29 p. 240 How Can I Keep My Mind off Sex? ***

    OK, am I the only one that thinks it's more than a little weird that when André talked to an elder about masturbating the elder gets all emotional, "his eyes filled with tears"?!?

    Yeah, I bet that elder wanted to "check on [André's] progress"!

    Probably the elder needed ask a lot of "pertinent, discreet questions" just "to isolate main issues and determine how or why [the] problem developed" of course.

    "So, uh, André, would you mind telling me again exactly how it was that you did this? Perhaps you could demonstrate, show me. I want a clear picture of what happened. Take your time, don't hurry, nice and slow ..."

    This would all be for the purpose of "Judging With Righteousness, Wisdom, and Mercy".

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    LMAO!

  • wannabefree
    wannabefree

    Please oh please, somebody make an Andre video.

    The quote above from the Questions Young People Ask - Answers that Work vol 2 ... "André talked to a Christian elder, and he's glad he did." ... reminds me of those old informational videos put out in the 40's, especially the ones warning troops about venereal diseases.

    Or how about this one ...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3S24ofEQj4&feature=player_embedded#!

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