Has anyone's entire family come out together?

by LittleMac 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • james_woods
    Lots of lights came on. Was there a shared distinction of some kind? If so, what was it?

    In our case, we were all aware for about two years (post 1975) that Freddy was senile and were hoping for reform. Marion Dunlap was the city overseer of OKC and I was the congregation presiding elder in Yukon, Oklahoma when they finally kicked out Ray Franz and Ed Dunlap.

    That pretty much tore it loose for all of us.

    Like I said, they blamed it all on Marion and I - and disfellowshipped both of us. But thankfully, they left everybody else alone. We do not have any remaining family members who are JW adherents.

  • Ding

    I have friends who came out all at the same time -- husband, wife, and both sets of parents.

    Some of them had been in the org since Rutherford's day.

    What Ray revealed in CoC did it for all of them at the same time.

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    The light came on for both my husband and I progressively. His way of dealing with it was being disgruntled and unhappy but keep going. Plus he changed from a very active MS to the bare minimum. I guess it occurred to me first that, hey we don't have to do this anymore, at all! It was just a culmination of everything, unfairness in the congregation, never being able to do enough or feel worthy, blood, child molestation, shunning and the grueling schedule that just made me say "enough" one day. I never went again. My husband and older child went to a few more meetings and the memorial after that. We are out. All extended family is in and shun us to varying degrees. Thinking about writing a letter soon. NMKA

  • Magwitch
  • DesirousOfChange

    I think most JWs are blinded until something affects THEM PERSONALLY. When something bad happens to others, well they should just get over it. But, when it strikes someone personally, something that really hurts, some serious injustice, then the blinders come off and they are able to think freely.

    If that sounds like I am speaking negatively of those who ignore things when they are not personally affected -- sorry. But I admit to being one of them. It took being broadsided to startle me out of the daze.


  • AGuest

    Myself, my children (who had left "in spirit")... and several other families all left at the same time, dear LM (peace to you!). Excluding one family, the others left because of how I was being treated (they knew me and when I would show them what the Bible stated, versus what the WT taught), they could "see" it and didn't understand the reaction of the elders/COs. At least one adult in each couple was a partaker inside the organization. The one family I mentioned left soon after - they believed their elders would see what the Bible stated (vs. the WT). We tried to tell them that that wouldn't be the case, that saying anything was not going to go well with them... but they had enjoyed pretty good respect from their congregation for many years and so thought they could reason with their elders. They were horrified, then, when they realized... after a couple JC/appeal meetings... that the Bible has virtually nothing to do with WT teachings... and because they believed the Bible to have greater authority, were DF'd. They took it hard... but it opened their eyes.

    My husband came out for reasons similar to mine. His family includes faders (2 brothers and 1 sister, and their spouses and children). One of those brothers (and his spouse) might possibly be DF'd in the near future for pretty much the same reason (realizing that the WT teachings are not in line with the Bible, and so partaking at last year's Memorial - John 6:48-58).

    Not that we put our faith in the Bible any longer - we do not, but put in it Christ - however, the WBTS' claim of authority BASED on the Bible, used for much of their teachings... and the plethora of discrepancies between those teachings and what's recorded in the Bible... were instrumental for all of us. The WTBTS people (i.e., Russell, Rutherford, Franz, even Ray Franz) were all irrelevant for us (and none of us knew about Ray Franz and his situtation, in any capacity).

    My husband currently has one brother who is still loyal to the WTBTS (his wife is an unbeliever)... but he's not very popular in the family, including among those who were never JWs: he doesn't run very deep... and so no one expects much more of him than to be loyal to such an organization. He knows deep down that they're not who they purport to be; however, he literally NEEDS someone to think for him, so they're his choice to do it.

    Was there a shared distinction of some kind? If so, what was it?

    For many, it was/is discrepancies between what the WT teaches... and what is recorded in the Bible, dear Nick (the greatest of love and peace to you!). Particularly with reference to the "anointed" and partaking of the flesh and blood of Christ. Knowing the truth about this particular issue is, for those who still have FAITH... absolutely major. HUGE.

    For those who no longer have faith in God (and/or Christ), the errors, imperfections, and imposterism of men usually hold the most weight. For those who still believe in God and Christ, however... and so still have faith... the realization that the WTBTS is literally "shutting up [of] the kingdom of the heavens before men"... is eye opening... and life altering. It WILL cause such ones to come to the realization that they HAVE to leave that harlot. Some leave and, unfortunately, join yet another "daughter." A few, however, know that there is no WHERE else to go away to... but only a WHOM. So, they leave... and [finally] begin to live... simply by living the [New] Law... which is written on their hearts... and not in some book or magazine... or orated from a pulpit or podium.

    I hope this helps and, again, bid you both peace!

    A slave of Christ,


  • White Dove
    White Dove

    My son, daughter and I all came out within a year of each other.

  • LittleMac

    Wow, pretty amazing stories, nice picture of your family Magwitch, nice to see real people with post.

    It's incredible where the 'lights came on' for others who were just observing your departure. I fantasized about that happening in our cases but so far no word has gotten back but time may tell.

    To Nickolas: I guess the common factor in our family was love and trust in each other, always. All of us kids always knew that our parents were the 'real deal' in the sense that we trusted their sensibility about things that touched us personally. We shared the same struggles. Like Desirous of Change mentioned, after being really a 'model' Jw family for 25 yrs. it took a bizarre and arbitrary disfellowshipping ruling on our youngest sister to cause my mom to turn outside , i.e the internet, for some answers. For six months she held it in, slowly gathering information, while supporting my dad as usual. Then she slowly started to drop hints to my brother about not necessarily 'having' to do things. What would happen if we stopped? During the whole time, we would always talk to each other like about our daily struggles to keep up the routines, etc. The difference was that none of us dared 'think' the unthinkable! that it wasn't real to begin with! Anyway, then she and my dad went through some tense, anxious weeks where she slowly revealed some things like UN to my dad and he freaked out, threatened to take her to the elders. (What else?) So over weeks, he began to realize that she was right. She was emailing the people at the UN to verify, the whole time holding out hope that it was somehow all a big ploy to discredit the society. (That's how engrained we were)

    So, then, it took from fall of 2009 to about spring of 2011 for all of us to leave, I could write here all afternoon about the hows and whys of it all. maybe I will later on. I just know that the transition for myself went from considering provocative questions about the society, to reading Cult Mind Control, to reading and looking up bogus/odd literature points revealed on the internet, and finally reading Crisis. Still in all, it took me an entire year to make a complete separation.

    Unfortunately, from the KH perspective, it all seems to make sense: the apostate family is now all split apart. To sum up: mom and dad are not together, 2 of my sisters are divorced from their still-in husbands, and my brother's wife just went kind of nuts and left him, sadly. However, it is for the fact that all of us are having to face real life for the first time and are no longer on the artificial life support of the society. Still in all, each of us is happier truly than ever before, just being able to be free from control.

    I and my brother especially have difficulty seeing it as a better reality sometimes than before. We kind of hold onto the idealized family that we had, although it is only a notion. The reality was that it was damaging to each of us in various ways while appearing to be ideal. It is still hard for me to get that but it is sinking in.

    Well, I digress a bit, but hey, you know.

  • 00DAD

    AGuest's post got me thinking: What can we do to help reach our loved-ones that are still stuck?

    This is really a separate thread so I started a New Topic:


    Please go there to respond. I need your help!


  • lalaa

    My mom, little sister, and I are all out! I have no family in that organization.....Life is so much easier now!

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