I'll echo these excellent suggestions already made: The God Delusion and Greatest Show on Earth by R. Dawkins, Sagan's Demon-Haunted World....also check out god is not Great by Christopher Hitchens.
The concept of God is fading away
I took a wonderful spiritual journey like yours. Don't get too much direction from other people, but enjoy where you take yourself to learn things. Some excellent sources of video, I provided below, but they are just starts.
Two different series on youtube called WHO WROTE THE BIBLE. I will post part 1 of each and you can find the links to parts 2-12 of each:
Nova's THE BIBLE'S BURIED SECRETS. Allow the video to load and the chapters are available above the timebar:
I feel like you do. It seems that God does not care about us as evidenced by the realities of life. I seem to be leaning towards being an agnostic- I wonder if the idea of God is something just made up from the human mind.
Edit: Sorry-this seems to have double posted so I erased the second post.