Double Lives of JW Youth

by camicia 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • camicia

    Hi everyone,

    I posted a lengthy concern a while back about my 23 year old daughter on the verge of baptism. The good news is she still hasn't progressed past studying - no door knocking thank god. The bad news is she's still studying, attending meetings, etc and I am still very much a "satanic influence." She's convincing me mind control with JW's isn't something to be laughed off because of her odd comments like "I HAVE to go to the meeting, it's like I physically need it." YEAH, worrying to say the LEAST.

    Anyway, the girl she studies with tells her all sorts of things like the family she'll gain, and how much everyone will love her. I'm sitting back and giving her the freedom to do what she wants, but I've never seen her so sad and alone. She has obeyed the command to break off all relationships with the world under some promise of being taken in, but she is always at home unless she's at a meeting. It's worrying me sick. She keeps assuring me she has friends, but they're clearly not interested in spending any time with her outside meetings. When i enquired about this she told me the girl she studies with has said to her she's not being rejected, she just isn't "with them" YET and "Jehovah is testing you. Will you choose the world or us?" I think this is revolting but my daughter somehow thinks its fair. She's also under the impression that her JW friends are the most moral group she could ever be with and this is going to entice her into the cult.

    WELL, so much for that. I was in a very worldly nightclub and there's this girl and a bunch of other young JWs on the dancefloor acting VERY worldly. So, even though they're telling my daughter she's not with them yet, they're out amongst the worldly people, while my kid isn't because she's at home obeying the f**king Watchtower's command to keep separate from the world and has not got any friends in it anymore. I can only assume they don't like my daughter for whatever reason (which is sad because she thinks the association is being withheld until she progresses when they still don't have to invite her even when she IS baptized) or they are keeping her away from their social gatherings because they don't live up to their self-proclaimed standards and that hypocrisy could make my daughter walk before baptism. I don't know if I'm on the right track here, though...

    When she confronted her study teacher about it the study teacher said "I didn't like being there. Seeing your mom there was Jehovahs way of telling me to get out, so I left." CRAP! She was having the time of her life. My daughter bought it and still believes all their bullshit. On top of it they bring up where they're all going around my daughter and say "you have to start coming with us" but then she tells me "Mom, they don't actually tell me where I'm supposed to be going and they never follow through." I know it upsets her and she's lonely but she believes until she progresses she's not "ENTITLED TO THE ASSOCIATION." Nauseating! She's young and should be out having fun with people her age and it's heartbreaking that she's not. What the hell are they doing to her? I thought the fact they're out at nightclubs while telling her they have house parties and are some special breed of human who can resist the world, and "you'll be included when you're a witness" would be enough to wake her up but it wasn't.

    Can someone offer insight into whats going on here? Is there truth to "We cant hang out with you that much, yet" which is why she's allowed to go to some gatherings and not others? I just want her to realize that having friends shouldn't be this complicated and conditional and they don't know how to have relationships. "We'll associate with you when..." is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Especially when they tell her she's well liked, etc. Is it their fault? Or is it the rules?

  • jamiebowers

    JWs can't associate with her, because she's not yet an approved associate, and it will look bad on them if they do. This is all for appearance sake. Once she becomes an unbaptized publisher, things should ease up a bit if she's accepted into one of the cliques. If not, she'll remain on her own.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    The girl that's studying with her, and her friends, sound like a bunch of bitches. Organising fun stuff in front of her, but don't include her? Sorry, but these girls aren't going to be her friends after she gets baptised. It's hopeful thinking on your daughter's part. She's being very naive.

  • camicia

    Yes, i see the cruelty but she can't. She's a very pretty girl (but with no self esteem) and these girls have nothing on her so i can see what's happening, (not to mention the jealousy and competition is only heightened when people are limited to a small group of people to socialize with) and until she gets baptized, they have a convenient excuse not to include her. JW boys on the other hand (minus the strict ones with parents in high places) have invited her out and she never goes because she doesn't want the girls thinking she's romantically interested in any of them and she doesn't feel entitled as i mentioned. It's just all so ridiculous. I think she's being misled, but she believes their story: we have to be careful of association until you're a witness, but we love you, etc. She thinks they plan things in front of her to keep reminding her that she has a decision to make and she's not making it fast enough.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz


    in your shoes i would have made a massive public scene!

    probably would have taken a photo with my phone and sent it to their elders, then call them out loud enough to be heard over the music about hypocrasy.


  • camicia

    Hahaha if only i thought of that in the moment. But on the other hand I wasn't 100% sure they were doing a wrong thing and the elders would be interested in it. I know they told my daughter she couldn't associate with the world or be out in clubs anymore, though.

  • Heartofaboy

    If she's more unhappy now than she was before she started 'studying' what does that tell you camicia?

    It wont get better when your daughter is in. At the moment the girl that's 'studying' with her is getting brownie points for her time spent with your daughter 'in the ministry' also praise & admiration from the congregation for conducting a 'bible study'.

    Once your daughter is in & baptised she will be dropped by this girl like a very hot potato as she can no longer count the time & put it on her boasting report at the end of each month.

  • punkofnice
    "I didn't like being there. Seeing your mom there was Jehovahs way of telling me to get out, so I left."

    Wow! Congratulations. You are now an instrument of Jehovah! What hogwash!!

    What's going on?

    IMHO, Sounds like the 'zealous' JW girl is using your daughter to get 'time in', count a 'study' and 'return visit' on her monthly report slip so she can look special in front of the congregation. So she can be judged as 'loyal' by the elders in the cult.

    Well, whoop-de-doo for her! She'll only ever be as good as her last report. A hollow victory.

    I am sorry for your plight. The cult is a trap and with 'theocratic warfare strategy' tells blatant lies to entrap victims.

    I hope your daughter wakes up before it's too late.

  • camicia

    Heartofaboy, you're right. IF I was seeing a change for the better, I could say this was a good thing for her. But unfortunately for the organization, the recruiting team are a bunch of hypocritical bastards.

    punkofnice: hogwash, exactly. Although i would enjoy following this bitch of a girl around to bust her, and validate Jehovah's existence for her, I'm really not. What you said makes a lot of sense, especially when my daughter told that the girl said "You're the first person I've gotten this far!" by this far she means to the end of the 'what the bible teaches' rubbish. I spoke to her about it tonight and she says she does want out but feels guilty that she wasted the girls time. I will tell her that the only person's time that was wasted was hers. I'm just afraid my daughter is extremely naive and believes the pressure to start answering up at the meetings is "help." or "kindness"

  • punkofnice
    she says she does want out but feels guilty that she wasted the girls time. I will tell her that the only person's time that was wasted was hers.

    Spot on kiddo! If she pulls out of the indoctrination sessions, she'll soon see how friendly this girl is!! (Says Unky Punky meaning this girl will turn nasty), Looks like light at the end of the tunnel......and it's not New Light TM

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