How do i overcome this guilt and fear?

by newcomer1982 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blond-moment

    I agree with what most have said here, research the Watchtower society, research the history of the organization, learn as much as you can. The more I learned, the less I feared. The more I learned, the weaker the hold they have, and eventually it's gone.

    There are many who have dealt with, and are currently dealing with family. There are many who have been able to keep their relationships with those still in. Those would be the ones I would focus on. There is a whole stream of "how leaving the watchtower affected me" on youtube. Many have great advice re: family, moving on, etc.

    I also suggest They have a phone/email help line set up. I was able to call and talk to someone, that was very helpful.

    Hang in there, keep reading, keep talking, like has been does get better, it does get easier, freedom does come.

  • isojourn

    I am so grateful this site exists. I have been inactive for almost 4 years now, but still live in fear and guilt. So much, that I even felt guilty for going to "apostate" sites. Even though for years I knew a lot of the teachings/doctrines did not add up.

    It's nice to have all these resources. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

  • flipper

    NEWCOMER 1982- Welcome to the board ! I agree with the recommendation of others to read Steve Hassan's & Ray Franz's books. VERY important. It takes time to lose your fears and unneeded guilt. Just read, educate yourself on mind control and learn to enjoy your newfound freedom. There is nothing to be scared of. You or your child will not die at Armageddon- because it isn't real. Take care, we are here for you, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • fallen_princess

    As many people have already recomended; Crisis of Concience is a good book to help you ease the guilt that comes with the indoctrination you have been subjected to. It helps you see pas the front that is all you've ever known. You will also find a lot of help and good people on this site and others like it. but your best weapon is Knowledge! Welcome, and stick around

  • cptkirk

    most of the elders are laughable at best in context to being an authority on *anything*. they fail in the real world so they find this god damn bizarre religion to prop up their egos.

  • BluesBrother

    Hello and welcome Newcomer....I hope that you will stay around here so long that your chosen name will become inappropriate.........

    As everybody has said, it is normal to feel confused and torn apart at this point. We are dealing with both a crisis of our beliefs and also all sorts of practical family issues. We love our family , that makes it hard.

    First, if there is any lingering doubt that the WTS might , after all, be really God's channel then deal with it by study and reading and good hard thinking about things. This site has an excellent "Best Of" section that contains nuggets of gold.

    With care, it is usually possible to come out with family access still available although we will never be fully united as we once were. This may take time and care but many of us have done it, just go gently

    As to our thinking, after a lifetime "in" our brains get programmed to see the world in a J W way and even now I can lapse into JW-speak very easily . It gets better with time though.

    You are at the start of a journey of great personal discovery, a time when YOU can decide what you think about the great moral issues that we face. You can be YOU not a WT clone. It is fun finding out who you really are.

  • Nice_Dream

    Welcome, I'm also 28 and I just left last year. I recommend all the books already mentioned. The more research I did, the crazier the religion sounded and it had less of a hold on me...check out Beth Sarim on Wikipedia!

    I no longer fear Armageddon, and am happy that my children will now have a shot at living their life to the fullest.

  • umadevi

    welcome newcomer!

    The two Books by Raymond Franz - Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom

  • jamiebowers

    Welcome to JWN! Please read the resources that have been referred to you. Th more you learn about cults, the more you'll be convinced that you were raised in one. The Watchtower, in essence, is no different than any other cult, and it can't accurately predict Armageddon any more than any other cult can.

    I havent been disfellowshipped and knew if i do i will lose my parents and their relationship with their grandson will change too.

    If your parents start to shun you, and they may whether or not you're df'd, you may want their relationship with your son to change. Do you really want them freaking him out with threats of Armageddon and how his parents aren't going to make it out alive? If you decide to celebrate birthdays and holidays, do you want your son to be guilted into thinking that he is sinning?

    Also, welcom Isojourn!

  • PaintedToeNail

    DesirousOfChange, I agree with you completely, it is extremely difficult living this hypocrite life we lead, but the thought of losing everything is even more difficult. One day maybe I'll have the strength to just do it. If I just up and left, it would just kill my parents and my dear hubby.

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