Thanks for your honesty in admitting your fears.
The whole WT system operates by guilt and fear.
You have been indoctrinated and programmed to feel those feelings, so naturally you feel them.
One antidote many JWs have used is to read the New Testament in a non-NWT translation without WT materials. I'd recommend starting with Galatians and Romans. When you see how the WT has twisted what the Bible really says, the organization's indoctrination can be broken.
Another antidote is to go to www.jwfacts.com and read some of the old WT literature, things Russell and Rutherford and Fred Franz wrote that are such nonsense that the WT doesn't want you to know it was ever written.
For example, Russell "proved" that Jesus returned invisibly in 1874 and that World War I was Armageddon. This was "the truth" then.
In The Finished Mystery, Rutherford taught that Michael and his angels were the Pope and his bishops! This was "the truth" then.
In the same book, he connected a Bible number to the distance from Scranton, PA to Brooklyn, NY by way of the Hoboken ferry! This was "the truth" then.
In Millions Now Living Will Never Die, Rutherford used the Jubilee cycles in the Bible to "prove" that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, would be resurrected in 1925. He got the WT to build a mansion called Beth Sarim in San Diego for them to live in when they arrived. This was "the truth" then.
When they didn't show up on schedule, Rutherford moved in!
In Life Everlasting in Freedom of the Sons of God, Fred Franz changed the WT's date for the creation of Adam by 100+ years and used his new "trustworthy Bible chronology" to prove that 1975 would be "an appropriate time for God to act" in bringing Armageddon and the new system. Brothers were encouraged to forego education, careers, families, and homes in order to pioneer in the remaining months before Armageddon. This was "the truth" then.
The more of this you read right out of WT publications, the more you will realize that the same people that wrote this nonsense are the same people that have planted the constant guilt and fear of Armageddon in your head.