Is there a reason to remain a JW other than for family?

by cedars 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  talesin

  No one can judge another's choices. Maybe it's hard to understand what someone else does, but it's their choice.

  I can understand staying in because of family. Having none is a hard row to hoe, speaking from experience.

  Money? Don't get it. I've been disinherited myself, since I got sick actually ... but I remember something I once heard,

  "If you marry for money, you will earn every penny of it."

  I kinda feel that way about living a lie of any kind ...

  "If you remain in the Truth TM for money, you will earn every penny of it."

  So, if financial gain is someone's reason, I don't think you are bad or wrong. I do feel sorry that you have placed money before your own health and well-being, and hope it doesn't 'cost' you too much in the end.

  tal
• 

  cedars

  leavingwt - that is a sad story, thank you for sharing it with us. I can fully understand why family would come first. I hope you brothers are getting over their traumatic exits.

  For the record (and to gravitate the discussion back towards the original question)... are there any justifiable reasons other than family?
• 

  leavingwt

  For the record (and to gravitate the discussion back towards the original question)... are there any justifiable reasons other than family?

  cedars: There are many, including personal SURVIVAL. If I were an elderly person living in a country with no social safety net, and the JWs were changing my diapers, bathing me and feeding me I'd praise Jehovah from morning until night.
• 

  Bumble Bee

  I gave the pretence of still being "in" while my father was alive. The last two years of his life were very fragile, I had already faded, but telling him I no longer wanted to be a JW would have put too much stress on his fragile health. I was the youngest of his first marriage and the only one that stayed a JW after the age of 16.

  Once he was gone, I stayed "in" on the pretence with my step mother till she got back on her feet. I attended a few meetings with her (we were in different congs) so she didn't have to be alone and for support.

  I then made the decision to tell her that I no longer wanted to be a JW. It was not a pretty scene!! Any JW family I had other than her and my half sister, I had no dealings with anyways, so it was no big loss to lose them. I did lose my step mom and half sister for a time, but they came around and said they wanted a relationship with me regardless of my beliefs.

  I could no longer live a lie and the hiding and pretending was just too much. I made the decision and all the fallout and consequences and loss that I knew would happen and it was the best thing I ever did.

  Everyone is different. I can say that now I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I stood up for myself and my beliefs and my health (mentally physically and emotionally) and be proud of my decision.

  Life is too short to live a lie and pretned, IMHO.
• 

  moshe

  Cedars, I am curious how your family is accepting your refusal to be an active JW. Is the trending neutral, positive or negative?

  Taking the long view here- where do you want to be 10-20 years from now?
• 

  iCeltic

  There is no reason whatsoever that would keep me in, family, friends, money. I lost what I thought were good friends when I left, and money. What little family of mine still go I still keep it touch with and see from time to time although that wasn't always the case.

  Its a difficult one and I don't envy anyone in that position now but the way I look at it, we only have one life and what a massive regret it would be if we lived it in a way that made us miserable just to please others. So sad.
• 

  Andrew Sh

  Post 4888 of 5421
  Since 6/13/2010

  The WTS holds family and friends as hostages with their rules

  this religion is full of people who are not true believers, Why would

  Jehovah want people who are forced to worship him, forced worship

  is most definitley not true worship

  Wasblind

  Great post.
• 

  cedars

  Hi moshe, thanks for asking - I was surprised to see this thread! I'd almost forgotten about it.

  I have a complicated family set-up, and the answer to the question really depends on which family members you're talking about. My wife has been largely supportive of my inactivity as a JW, and is beginning to fade herself. I suppose she's the family member who matters most. Her parents and mine, on the other hand, make it clear that they are unhappy about our decision to be inactive. My in-laws put gentle pressure on my wife to return to meetings, since she hasn't officially declared herself inactive as yet. My Dad is an active elder, and we have an unspoken rule not to discuss my beliefs (or lack of) so as to avoid upsetting him. However, whenever we talk he tries to sneak in some little snippet of information about the organization in an apparent effort to "encourage" me to return. I've told him how I feel in no uncertain terms, but I think he's in a state of denial. I have a sister who I recently reconciled with after a long-standing argument, however she's heard through others of how strongly I feel, and unsurprisingly her and her husband have little or nothing to do with me anymore despite my efforts to stay in touch.

  On the flip side, since I've awakened I've found at least 5 members of my extended family who share my beliefs about the organization to varying degrees, and I'm enjoying my contact with them and comparing notes.

  Where do I want to be in 10 or 20 years? Honestly, I'm still figuring that out. I would like to become a father, and leave some sort of legacy for future generations. I'm enjoying my work on jwsurvey, and I would like to progress that project as far as possible. I would also like to write a book one day, but I'm a bit nervous about doing so. I'm aware of how many ex-JW books there are, and I wouldn't just want to add to the paper mountain. I would want to write from a unique angle, and until I find that angle I would rather not start the project. Until then, I am perfectly content to write my blog articles as and when the urge arises.

  I hope that answers your questions!

  Cedars
• 

  cantleave

  Cedars I would hope that in 10 or 20 years time, JWdom will be a very distant memory for you. There is a danger that as ExJW's being an ExJW is all we will ever be. Ideally you want to move on and just be a normal person......
• 

  cedars

  cantleave

  Cedars I would hope that in 10 or 20 years time, JWdom will be a very distant memory for you. There is a danger that as ExJW's being an ExJW is all we will ever be. Ideally you want to move on and just be a normal person......

  Yes, I would agree with that, which is why my first response to the question was one of uncertainty. On the one hand, I would like to help others get out and play a small part in accelerating the decline of the Society. On the other hand, I have to weigh my emotional and mental capacity to carry this through. I've already had spells over the past year where I've fallen silent for a while because I've felt so drained by all the negativity of considering JW-related matters every day. Perhaps this is a sign that my interest/participation in this stuff has a "Best Before" date, yet to be revealed.

  Cedars