WT Lexicon

by 00DAD 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • 00DAD

    Hi all,

    I was thinking it would be helpful if we put together a WT Lexicon for those that are not too familiar with WT terminology. It's important for them to understand these Theocratic expressions so that they too can understand and speak the "pure language" of truth. - Zeph. 3:9

    To kick things off, I've started a few entries. Please feel free to contribute you favorites. (NOTE: Please try to observe and be consistent with this tone and style. This is a serious, encyclopedic endeavor, much like Wikipedia).

    WT LEXICON, v. 1.01

    Soon: Not soon, in fact a very, very long time. You'll probably die first. Millions already have.

    Theocratic Arrangement: Shut up and do what I'm telling you.

    New Light: We have no idea WTF we're talking about, but we gotta' say something!!!

    Other Sheep: Followers, as in "dumb as a …" WT adherents to be fleeced at will. (BTW, how come we never discuss the fact that in ancient Israel they used to EAT their sheep??? I'm just wondering is all ...)

    Faithful and Discreet Slave: Not faithful or very discreet and most certainly NOT SLAVES, but Masters. (SEE "Other Sheep")

  • sizemik

    Pioneer . . . someone who repeatedly goes over the same old ground.

    Elder . . . someone who's still learning.

    Ministerial Servant . . . microphone adjuster

    Watchtower . . . a structure where you can shut your eyes and hide.

    Awake . . . an ingenious device that puts you to sleep in less than a minute.

    Baptism . . . there is no meaning

    Witnessing . . . giving an account without seeing anything

    Governing Body . . . like the seven dwarfs but not as smart

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    Lobby Attendant..... legitimate excuse to avoid boredom at meetings.

    Apostate.......... professional bull shit detector

  • 00DAD

    Excellent contributions sizemik and No Room For George. I see you both understand the spirit of this highly important academic endeavor. Thanks!

    It took me a minute to appreciate the subtlety of sizemik's definition of "Baptism". Well done! I would like to add a second meaning for:


    2 - A structure specifically designed to prevent anyone from seeing anything clearly

    Keep 'em coming!

  • blondie
  • shamus100

    Worldly Person - Someone who isn't baptized and is a walking corpse

  • 00DAD

    Uh, Hi Blondie. Thanks for contributing, but I think you've missed the point of this thread!

  • nugget

    Shepherding call - meeting to give elders a sense of importance. Tag team visit to drink tea and tell you how you can do things better.

    Field Service - spreading spiritual manure in the local area hoping that God will make books and half arsed preaching grow into new witnesses.

    Report - Way of checking level of indoctrination if you can be bothered to fill it in you probably can't be bothered to challenge GB.

  • cantleave

    Prideful - waking up to the WT bullshit

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    Branch Servants.......... Moochers in the name of Jehovah

    Unbaptized Publisher.........There's still time, or is there?

    Circuit Overseers..........see Branch Servants

    Samuel Herd.........Token

    Special Campaign.........excuse to be unprepared for field service

    Baptized.........worst mistake ever made by a born-in

    District Convention..........mandatory attendance at a glorified publication release party associated with going into small debt and family tension

    Disassociation............courage and dignity

    Theocratic Ministry School #2, 3, & 4 talks...........The Special Olympics

    Judicial Committee..........Royally Screwed

    Appeal after Judicial Committee.........hogtied and then royally screwed a second time

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