Greetings, dear SBC... and peace to you! I hear you, dear one. Personally, I don't see how one can have TRUE spiritual integrity if one DOESN'T have intellectual integrity. I mean, if something doesn't "sound" right... goes against what's "in" you... my position is that you HAVE to question it, even look into it! If you are right, then there should be NO fear in doing so. Because it should stand up to scrutiny. If you're wrong... integrity says you should be willing to admit that. Even if it's tough. Even if it hurts.
Perhaps everything "in" YOU says "there is no God." It is your prerogative, then, to decide to stop believing, searching, pursuing a relationship, etc. It is neither my vocation... or responsibility... to convince you otherwise... or to tell you that you're wrong... UNLESS you are causing others harm. Then, my responsibility toward "the lowly one" might kick in... and I might have to speak up, etc. Absent that, I feel totally okay discussing what you "don't" believe... as well as what you DO... even if I disagree... with you. (Note, by "you" I don't mean you, personally - LOLOL!)
The same thing applies on the opposite side of the integrity "coin." If everything "in" ME says there IS a God... then it is absolutely MY prerogative to CONTINUE believing, searching, and pursuing a relationship... or what have you... while it really isn't your vocation or responsibility to convince ME otherwise... or tell me I'm wrong... UNLESS I am causing others harm. Then, same responsibility... based on morals... and most basic thing: love. You virtually MUST speak up.
So, I get WHY some atheists and othes assert themselves against religion as they do. Given religion's TRACK RECORD... SOMEONE has to (religion certainly isn't going to!). I am totally WITH you on that!
BUT... I don't see the intellectual "integrity" in "throwing out the baby with the bath water." In fact, that seems COUNTER intellectual to ME. I know, I know... no "baby" in [your] bathtub. Okay, fair enough. But there IS one in MINE... and I kinda like him. So, I think I'll keep him.
Again, peace to you... and thanks, truly, for keeping in real... from YOUR perspective... as well as allowing me to do the same from mine!
A slave of Christ,