My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

rebel8

Have you watched this show?

As an ex-cultist I find it interesting. I had never heard of these groups, so I have no idea if the show is accurate.

As portrayed...

The views of women are so backward. Even the young women (interviewed) agree their role is subservient housewife. They get married really, really young. No premarital sex allowed. The "grabbing" ritual is disturbing too.

Weddings are a major social event for them--a way to meet mates. They feel out of place if they don't marry really young. The women (on the show) don't generally work outside the home or get an education.

Generally I find it really really sad and feel as though I am rubbernecking over a train wreck.

Band on the Run

Sounds very familiar, doesn't it? My sister told me about the show. Basically, I thought we would see Northern Jersey Italian-American over the top garb. A bit like the Sopranos and Jerseylicious. We grew up in the area. My eyeballs are still popping out at the gowns. They must be seen to be believed. Those trailers don't seem to be comfortable homes.

What I found upsetting is that the producers have yet to find a Romany or traveler girl who is rebelling and going to college. I am curious if the girl (and I do mean girl as in underage) would be shunned. It is also clear that physical abuse is rampant. A rather sedate gown in a NY dept store that is silk retails for about six thousand. Those dresses are their homes, second homes, college degree, graduate degree, and retirement funds.

rebel8

Yep, I can't believe how much they're spending on the gowns. They are so heavy the brides wear bandages underneath to prevent bruising. One of them had lights and moving butterflies attached to it. I am assuming that is all due to the importance they place on marriage.

Watch one of the weddings. It makes me SO sad. They are so immature & making a life-changing decision. Ugh, it makes me want to retch.

there are substantively disturbing moments—namely, young brides who bluntly say they don’t think getting an education or holding a job is important, and, most notably, a description of “grabbing,” a dating ritual whereby a young man grabs a woman and demands she kiss him, twisting her arm or otherwise hurting her until she obliges [source]

Yeah, I totally want to see the apostate traveler who went to college or refused the grabbing.

Pams girl

That show was hugely popular here in the UK. I must admit it was compelling, and I watched several shows. Shocking in lots of areas, especially the age of the girls getting married and looking forward to cleaning a caravan for all time.......

I think only one young girl had a regular job, as a receptionist at a hotel. Her employers were unaware she was a traveller. She was about 21 I guess, and her family had been pressurising her to wed. A lot of friends joked she was over the hill! She was forced to give up her job when she eventually gave in to a pressurised wedding......felt sorry for her. A love story it wasnt.

At the wedding reception, watching girls aged 6/7/8 with little more than a teatowel worth of material on was disturbing.......bumping and grinding as if in the throes of some sexual frenzy and a face full of make up......urrggg. Im no prude, but sexualising kids in this was is disgusting imo. Its "our ways...." seems to be the most common explanation. Shame for the poor girls, and living in fear of their husbands seems all too common.

PenelopePaige

I love this show. It is like watching a train wreck! I, too, am disturbed though, by the young girls and the way they dress, do their make-up and dance. Very shocking.

Simon

The show is hypnotic - like watching a train wreck.

They do seem very cult-like or maybe it's just the incredibly male-dominated society.

All the younger girls seem to dress like hookers although they seem big on the morals.

Not many people in the UK liked travellers as they frequently don't pay taxes and the crime rate often rises when they came into town plus they can overwhelm local services (healthcare, schools etc...)

Band on the Run

Of course, the show highlights what ordinary women do for weddings. I want to be a feminist and Cinderella at the same time. My concerns about marriage always had to with the perfect wedding gown, not the perfect husband. Men are largely superfluous on the day. I dreamed of marriage in a cathedral and would arrive by horse drawn carriage in Central Park. Now I see the horses and feel like lynching the drivers. Frequently, I scream things at the couples about explooiting the poor horses.

In antrhopology we studied a culture where women were forthcoming about the sorrows of marriage. The brides friends adorn her for the wedding and they spend a lot of time singing dirges about how her life is going down the tubes.

The little girls and toddlers and tiaras make me wonder where the authorities are. This is not Shirley Temple or Anette Funicello land.

leavingwt

Yes, we've watched it. As Simon says, you can't turn away!

betterdaze

Wow. Where were these people, when I took a career break to work in the bridal industry? Could have made a fortune selling lavish wedding paraphernalia and all the new-home accoutrements to them!

But I have seen it, with *some* "fringe" types, all trying to out-do each other buying the most outrageous gifts, ca-ching ca-ching for me. And all paid in full with cash on the barrelhead, because they have bottomless coffers of unreported, untaxed income to blow.

With all these "Bridezilla" shows… I'll let you in on something: It's not the bride. It's not even her parents. It's the mother of the groom, who is the greediest, grabbiest person in the U.S. bridal world. Loved the couples, feared the mother-of-the-grooms' underhanded manipulations, and always will.

Scary b*tches. But my clients truly were the couples, and my loyalties were to them and their needs/wishes and special day. A joy to assist people with a major milestone, and rewarding to actually get paid for it! Their kind referrals drove my boat for a much-needed year out of the rat race.

~Sue

betterdaze

BOTR:

I want to be a feminist and Cinderella at the same time.

Oh, honey, don't we all! Maybe that's why I'm 15 years into a committed relationship with no ring on my finger… but totally thrived as a bridal consultant?

I watched some of the Gypsy Wedding videos and still cannot get over how they padded little girls' dresses with fake "boobs" in them to mimic a mature woman, yet the brides themselves are little more than teenagers. It's sick.

They will all grow up soon enough, once the forced finery and flash is over. Sad.

~Sue

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

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