Im posting from my boyfriend's house! Im having a week here with him to get away from things and to enjoy myself. Recently I came out to my entire family that im gay. They all know! No more lies! No more hiding! My dad went to see an elder and the elder said he was very worried about me. My dad is very supportive of me being gay. He told me he cant condone it, but he will support me no matter what. He himself is a little disillusioned with the whole religion.
Anyway, the elder he spoke to is a reasonable brother. He has always been there for me and I do respect him. He text me and told me he was thinking about me and hoped I am ok. He also called me a little later, so I decided I would answer. We spoke for 20 mins and I told him how I feel and how I have been coping with the difficult situation that I have been in. He told me that he doesn't understand but he respects me for making my own decision, which surprised me. He told me that he doesnt want to hold any sort of commitee with me and he only wants me to feel that if i ever want to return it will be possible. It appears he is aware then that I have made my choice.
I asked him where this left me with the organisation. He said it cant lead to anything else but being disfellowshipped. Despite the fact that I may not have broken any JW laws (yet), I can still be thrown out. Fair enough. I am not going to argue with that, and im not going to appeal. Im also not going to speak with any of the elders about the situation. Whatever they choose to do, I will live with.
Despite the fact that i tell myself that I dont realy care what happens, I cant help but think how this will affect all those who I have knwon for the past 20 years or so. I have made lots of new friends and I have a WONDERFUL boyfriend who is sitting next to me right now and smiling as he reads this. They have been, and are still being, a big support to me.
Whatever happens, Im going to keep my chin up and remain as spiritual as possible.
Just wanted to keep you all updated... it seems my association with this organisation is coming to its end!