Newbie want's to say hi

by Adso 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • TotallyADD

    Welcome Adso. Another sad story from the JW cult. This madness you went through will someday just be a memory but never forgotten. Keep posting it will help you in your battle to regain your true self. Looking forward to future post from you. Glad to have you on board. Totally ADD

  • kazar

    Welcome! At least you can take comfort in your freedom.

  • Lozhasleft

    Hello and welcome to the forum. Another sad story which evokes anger in all of us. Well done to you for your strength.

    Loz x

  • Adso

    Thanks for the welcome everyone, it feels good. Gayle, my kids are doing great. It's amazing to watch the indoctrination process and how it works but it's also amazing to watch their little faces as their minds tick over when presented with alternatives. I also have been getting professional help and listen to or read everyday some sort of personal development stuff. I agree with what a couple have posted here that moving forward and towards goals is the best way to get back at those that have cut me loose. Thanks again.

  • Tralfamadorian

    The P.O. asked me if I was sorry to Jehovah. I replied that Jehovah's sins towards me and mankind were far greater than anything I've done to him so no. As far as I see it if nothing came into existance except through Jehovah then that includes wickedness. If looks could kill the flesh would have melted off my bones. Even the other 2 elders soiled themselves at that point.


    Bravo! Well played my friend, well played!

    You know, if viewed from an observant and reasonable viewpoint, it is obvious that the Old Testament God is no older than 3-5 years old emotionally. And a sadistic-pulls-wings-off-flies emotionally to boot!

    Is it possible that we're all joys toys that God and Satan feud over? When you look around the world, it sure seems that way.

    Reminds me of this song:

    The song itself reminds me of Lord of the Flies.

    I remember my disfellowshipping meeting. Some sister had snitched on me when she saw me smoking apparently. I was asked if I had the conviction to stop smoking. I said, "That's the problem. I have conviction, but I'm afaid that I'll get tempted and give in and smoke. I guess that's not conviction is it?" I went on to ask, "If I were tempted, could I be free to call you at your home day or night and ask for help to not give in?" Anyhow, long story short, I was soon asked to leave the room so they could discuss the matter amongst themselves. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in that room. Voices were raised and one elder even shouted. Apparently all three were not in agreement. I was well-loved in that congregation. When I made comments I didn't recite my answers by rote. I added my own insight and my own metaphors. There were times when there was audible shuffling as people turned around to look at me. It was unsettling and a bit embarrassing. Needless to say, one elder didn't like the influence I had in the congregation. He obviously threw technicalities at the other two about my lack of conviction even though I had asked for help in the same sentence and I was disfellowshipped that evening.

    I tried getting reinstated several times but found it too difficult to sit through meetings where I had to edure the discomfort of being shunned. Before I'd been disfellowshipped, I had always been in the habit of sitting in the front row, right side. I continued to do so until an elder approached me and requested that I arrive during the opening song, sit in the rear and leave after the closing prayer unless I needed personal literature. Yeah...sit in the 'back of the bus' to show how ashamed I am and to demonstrate that contrite attitude visibly to the whole congregation and to avoid making them uncomfortable. I almost felt sorry for the poor elder who told me this. He looked ashamed and humiliated and had apparently been instructed to tell me this from the elder that was adamant that I be disfellowshipped. That's just my guess, but I'm almost certain of it. Who else would have had it in for me? It's all a part of life's colorful pageantry, I guess.

    After a couple years, I went to the Mormons. They are very quick to get you baptized so I was stunned when they asked me if I wanted to get baptized, based on a study of three very small booklets. I said yes. After that event, I delved deeper into their meatier doctrine and was disgusted by some of what I saw and read. I became an inactive 'Jack Mormon' Some years later I began studying Mystic Christianity. More years passsed and out of a fear-based incident I ran back to the Mormon church. Funny [peculiar, not haha ¬_¬ ] how it's always fear that makes us run back to the center of the flock isn't it? The ward Bishop asked me how I felt about receiving a calling to teach. I had to honestly tell him that I couldn't do such a thing because it would require that I teaching things I don't agree with and I wasn't going to lie. I told him of my mystic leanings and how, although the Mystic Fellowship had no issue with me being a Mormon, the Mormons would indeed eventually have issue with Mystic leanings. However, I was not disfellowshipped. The Mormons do disfellowship, but it's not the same. They don't shun, they just have a special home teacher spend extra time studying with you. They give you extra care, etc and you're not allowed to take communion. I'm not advertising the Mormons as I see them as just another form of control, but I will say they got a lot better going on than the witnesses do. They have age appropriate bible schools and sunday school. Why cant the witnesses do that? Why expect toddlers and little kids to sit through an hour of boring speech they don't understand with nothing to look forward to? At least the Mormon kids can look forward to coloring bible pictures after communion. And the Mormons don't have two hemerroids apiece when their kids make noise during the meetings. Kid's aren't slapped for turning around and waving at the kid sitting behind them, they aren't taken to the bathroom or outside to be spanked either. Little toddlers are allowed to waddle up and down aisles briefly. This is all normal for them and most of their kids are well behaved in spite of this liberty. Jeez Witnesses, get a clue from your brother borganization! You might learn something about how a human being can be trusted to be a human being!

    Nowadays I'm not in a religion. The closer I get to a church, the further from God I seem to get. If God's Kingdom is no part of the world as Jesus says, then it should, in no way, become a corporate entity like the Witnesses, Mormons and others do. I personally have found more actual spirituality in 12 step meetings!

    That being said, here is my sum up, meant to be taken totally without seriousness and with the humor intended:

    "I think God is just slightly insane. We're all just the voices in his head he thinks to keep himself company. Cuz he needs a good woman to have a nice poke with once in awhile. That's okay. I'm sure he has matters 'in hand.' Pun intended. We're all just his wretched little knuckle children."

    Cheers! And thanks for sharing your story. :)

  • smiddy

    Welcome Adso thanks for your story

    from a fellow victorian


  • twinkle toes
    twinkle toes

    Welcome! I really appreciate your story.

    I had a similar thought today. Why would God pick and choose who to love or whose prayers to answer. How could a loving father choose which children to love more? If he created us to love he also created us to sin. Unfortunatley there are no good answers. The only one that comes to mind is that this cult we have been raised in has sold us a lie.

    It does get easier though the longer you are out the more balanced one feels. Being "normal" is a great feeling.


  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    Welcome! I HATE HATE what they did to you!!!! Welcome and may you find love and happiness in the rest of your life!FS

    please stay in touch

  • jwfacts

    Welcome Adso. That is a tough story, and I hope you are finding more happiness now you at least understand what happened and why.

    I am in Sydney, so feel free to contact me if you come up this way.

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