Thanks for your support JWN!!! Dad dies monday, JW family goes to convention on thursday

by Coffee House Girl 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    I likewise almost cried after reading your post. There are other conventions, most likely at the same site. They could also have gone just for Sunday and picked the rest up elsewhere.

    I feel for you and however you want to remember your dad is good.

    The fact that they ignored your fathers request shows that they are simply trained (you could say brainwashed) to disrespect someone else's privacy and life if they think they could gain just 1 convert.

    This is an important reason to have a living will, the bigots in your family.

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Thank you all

    I am sorry to have stuck an emotional responce from Man In Black and Anony Mous- I tried my best to hide my discust & be supportive to my mother, I tried to look at it from the aspect of..."well it should be good for her to get away for a few days to get her mind off of things"....

    but really....they were married for 53 years, wasn't he worth skipping a convention for???? My brother cried so hard when she left Thursday morning, my heart just broke-

    Yes, NRF George....the campfire was very symbolic of dad, his love of the outdoors and just sitting & relaxing by the fire drinking a beer (that was him in a nutshell)

    OTWO, I read your previous thread...OMG it is so sad, unfortunately I now know how you feel on that one...and it is equally sad that JWs just don't get it....they are lost truly

    To answer NewChapter's question....will I attend the JW memorial????? Well I struggle with that one (because it is bullshit and just a dog and pony show), but I will brother's best friend is going for moral support for the both of us (he never was a JW and hates everything JW, but he is going to sit with us & I really appreciate his thoughtfulness).

    Coffee Shop Guy has been so good through this...he spent a lot of time with my brother talking with him and I really think it helped, I love and appreciate him for all he is


  • Lozhasleft

    Good to hear from you CHG although sad about the lack of respect for your dad. I'm glad you and your brother commemorated him in an honest loving way, and hope that the memory of it stays to comfort you. Sending you hugs.

    Loz x

  • VampireDCLXV

    I already posted my condolences on CSG's thread BUT seeing how your family has reacted to the death of your father here is truly bizarre and sickening. I find it really hard to understand how they try to move on without skipping a beat, without trying to take a timeout and reschedule some things. A beloved family patriarch has DIED for chrissake! It's your DAD, not just a cat or a dog! This is just awful!

    True cult mentality here, for sure. I'm truly sorry, CHG.


  • flipper

    COFFEE HOUSE GIRL- My wife and I send you condolences my friend . And hugs for sure. It is so awesome you & your brother remembered your dad by a campfire. What a fiiting way to remember good, loving times you shared with him. Your mom is just mind controlled by the JW cult to think the way she does , it's not respectful , not right, but the WT society has trained ALL Witnesses to be unemotional robots without real human empathy . It truly is a mental condition I believe. Steve Hassan calls it " dissociative disorder " wherein a person can totally dissociate or disconnect from their authentic, human emotions based on commands from cult leaders to function a certain way. It's disgusting. I blame the WT leaders for using this type of indoctrination method. Their view is JW cult needs first, family needs second - or somewhere further down the line !

    It shows the utmost class on your part to attend the Memorial I believe as you are not only showing support for your mom , but others who don't buy into the WT fantasy dream machine. Give our love to Coffee House Guy as well . It's great that you have him for support. He sounds like a fantastic guy ! Take care. O.K. ? We'll have to chat sometime again soon

  • shamus100

    I'm sorry for your loss. It's so difficult to understand life at these times.

    I assume you still won't be going to the memorial. I can't blame you, and can't give you any advice on what to do either way, of course. Do what's in your heart and whatever you do, don't feel guilty. That is the lasting legacy from JW'ism - guilt. Never feel guilty about anything you do, or other people's choices.

    Have a nice Saturday evening. :)

  • Ding

    Very sorry, Coffee House Girl.

  • Berengaria

    I too got tears.

    I see the memorial two ways, you have every right to go. My mother was told by her siblings that she was not welcome at her mother's memorial. She did not go. It's bothered her ever since, and that was over 25 years ago. Bothered is putting it mildly. You will be angry sitting and listening to a sales pitch having nothing to do with your father. But IMO, you should go, hold your head high and look fabulous.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff


    After the memorial service [if you attend], why not invite those who wish to honor him with an informal hike in the woods [or something he would have done]. There might be an honest, decent Jw or two who would welcome the chance to actually honor the life of your father if he/she can do it privately. Just a thought. I really don't know.

    Again. Condolences to both of you. Peace. Namaste.


  • EmptyInside

    I'm so sorry for your loss Coffee House Girl.

    My father passed away last May,and I'm just really starting to grieve for him now. I was kind of numb when he first died,and we really didn't have a good relationship.

    It's good that you and your brother took the time to properly remember your father. One thing that kind of helped me and my family,we made a video from collections of pictures of my father over the years,set to music. My mother played it over and over again for awhile. And I made a collage for the funeral service.

    As far as your family goes,a lot of Witnesses don't know how to grieve properly. They feel if they show too much emotion,that means they don't have faith in the resurrection. But,I have seen it time and again,how they pay the price for it later. Some have just collapsed with all this build up emotional grief.

    But,I agree,that they should have taken some time out to show proper respect for the loss of your father.

    Again,I'm sorry for your loss.

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