Bad day in Athiest/Jehovah's-Witnessville

by Nickolas 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AGuest

  Dear Nick, again peace to you and, sorry, but uh-uh, no... I ain't buyin' it. Perhaps if future MIL came on strong with the magazines... or kept pushing for a bible study... perhaps. Or if she took issue with the young lady's dress or appearance. Perhaps. But because she assigned them separate rooms? Since when is that an exclusive JW "thing"? All kinds of folks out there still adhere to that one, dear one.

  My advice? Tell dear son that he really needs to get to the bottom of the problem (if he doesn't already know what it is).

  Whether it's former GF... or dear son... sounds like someone's making JW mom the scapegoat. Sorry, but based on what you've posted that is my take. Of course, there may be more (much more) to it.

  Again, peace to you!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  Nickolas

  Thank you, Shelby. Do you not think being presented with a strong willed, devout Jehovah's Witness as someone who is about to occupy an important niche of your life would have an impact on you?
• 

  serenitynow!

  I think the girl may not have been as in love as your son thought. Seems like a pretty flimsy reason to call off a serious relationship. Unless your wife came on strong in private to her, and you just don't know. I don't think the separate rooms is limited to the JWs, it's probably also a generational thing.
• 

  ABibleStudent

  AGuest - Dear Nick, again peace to you and, sorry, but uh-uh, no... I ain't buyin' it. Perhaps if future MIL came on strong with the magazines... or kept pushing for a bible study... perhaps. Or if she took issue with the young lady's dress or appearance. Perhaps. But because she assigned them separate rooms? Since when is that an exclusive JW "thing"? All kinds of folks out there still adhere to that one, dear one.

  Hi Nickolas, I am sorry but I must agree with AGuest. Your son should have a talk with his mom before visiting you. If his mom doesn't want him to sleep with his GF, he and his GF could just have easily stayed at a nearby hotel. I don't agree with JWs on much, and I cannot condemn them for having a personal opinion.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  ABibleStudent
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Sorry, Nick, but I'd have to put at least some of the blame here on the young woman. At least here in the Bible Belt, it wouldn't be all that unusual to have a Mom not really want to admit that her son is "living/sleeping with" a woman. She could have been a strict Southern Baptist or strict Pentacostal or strict Republican (haha). I suspect your son should not have been surprised by Mom's thinking in this arena. He could have prepared his fiance ahead of time. (Something like "don't be surprised if my super conservative, devoutly religious mom puts us in separate bedrooms for appearance sake, but hopefully they'll be right across the hall from each other....") I suspect there were some other issues central to the breakup.
• 

  Nickolas

  What I am hearing is a great deal of Christian moralism in the previous posts, but I'm prepared to hear more. Should not 30-somethings who are already intimate expect to have consistent accomodations when they visit the folks? It seems that's the question.
• 

  bohm

  Nick: In terms of the goofy nastyness of religion and in its tendency to interject itself in peoples life, especially in relationships where its entirely unwanted, well, you know where i am coming from (3 years on and its still totally non-kosher to even mention my name around the in-laws), and I am on board with Christopher Hitchens on that point. heck, a drunk Christopher Hitchens in a mean mood.

  But precisely because of this I dont get the girl... As long as your oldest son is being cool and supportive, why loose a person you love because of his family? should that really be the determining factor? some have parents who are alcoholics, crazy or plain old mean...

  I hope this does not come across as awfully irrelevant or unsupportive.. i totally get the aspect of religion as a dividing force in families.. i totally get the frustration of being on the sideline and seing the predictive, stupid choices being made whose only effect is to hurt others in the same old predictive, stupid ways year after year and you just got no say in the matter at all.
• 

  Nickolas

  I hope this does not come across as awfully irrelevant or unsupportive..

  not at all. Helping to change my paradigm, maybe.
• 

  Kudra

  Yeah... I'd say the young lady had a REALLY flimsy "excuse" for bolting. I would venture to say that many 30-somethings have parents who are still old-fashioned about bedroom behavior. My former husband's parents were non-JWs but still put us in separate bedrooms when we visited before we were married.

  If two people are in love, even having the craziest parent-in-laws can't prevent them from being together. Don't let the guilt fall on you for this.
• 

  still thinking

  Hi Nick, I also have a very intense mother in law...she is not a JW but his parents have been involved in a few cults over the years. Ironically, the last one was headed by an ex JW...control freak woman. They are very loving....but VERY intense.

  Because I love their son, nothing they could do would scare me away. I am assuming your son is not a JW or he wouldn't be living with the girl. It is just an excuse for a relationship that wasn't going to work anyway.

  There is a limit to what you can blame on your wife....and this one I'm don't think is fair...unless she said she was going to move in with them or something..then the girl might be a bit worried.